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Miss Mabel


Kenneth Cole

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Shellshocked
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I apologize in advance that this is long. I just got off the phone with a student in one of my classes (I teach college) and it was one of the worst conversations of my life. She was calling about an assignment she had misunderstood, and as I was trying to explain it to her, she kept interrupting me, which is one of my biggest pet peeves in the WORLD.

Then, for whatever reason, I just could not explain it in a way that she understood. It's a case study, and basically I've asked the students to apply specific concepts from the course to the case, and she won't do it because she says she's not just going to "make something up about a company she knows nothing about." And I tried to explain about critical thinking, analysis, extrapolation, etc. and no matter how many ways I tried to say it, she just wasn't getting it. I even tried to point out that it isn't about getting a "right" answer but about showing that you understand the ideas and supporting your answers with logic. But I couldn't get through to her. So frustrating! Especially because I do consider myself a good communicator, and to me case studies are a normal part of college life (she isn't a new student either).

Finally, to make it all worse, she starts telling me I'm "being very odd about this assignment" and that she "doesn't have a good feeling about our conversation" and then accuses me of being condescending when I try to express empathy that it can be hard to work with abstract ideas if you are a person who enjoys more concrete concepts. I am the first to admit I can be condescending, and I know the tone of voice I have when I am, but I honestly wasn't, and I wasn't using that tone of voice either!

I am totally hurt and taking this personally, and I don't know why. I just feel really attacked and, honestly, a little creeped out because she was being really weird.

Anyway, not really looking for advice necessarily, just needed to vent. cry.gif

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HeatherLynn


Gucci

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Honestly I dont know how all of you teachers do it!! Thank goodness there are people out there who can, because I probably would have went crazy talking to her. No advice other than to say keep your head up and I'm sorry that she was crazy.

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Elle


Hermes

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Oy.  Good for you for keeping your composure with her, because it sounds like it was hard to do!

It sounds to me like she is feeling a little frustrated about this assignment and is trying to find a way to make it someone else's fault - your fault, you lucky duck wink.gif.  It's just a defense mechanism against failing - she doesn't understand or is frustrated, so it can't be that she's just having trouble understanding it must be that you are very confusing in your assignment of this project.  Even though most everyone in the class is doing just fine with it, y'know.

She's acting strangely, not you.  She might have other stressors in her life that are tweaking her sense of reality a bit, but that's something anyone has to learn to deal with because it happens alot! 

If you don't want to poke the situation anymore, I think you'd be fine to just let it slide.  Otherwise you could try emailing her, and stroking her ego a bit.

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blink


Coach

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Miss Mabel wrote:

 accuses me of being condescending when I try to express empathy that it can be hard to work with abstract ideas if you are a person who enjoys more concrete concepts.

Just for the record, although I am sure you were trying to empathize, I would find that statement condescending.  When I refer to someone who thinks in concrete terms, I don't mean that in any nice way, sometimes I even call refer to such people as blockheads...Obviously, I don't speak unkindly about anyone with a good reason for the difficult communication, like a teenage girl I know who has Aspergers.

However, this student sounds terribly difficult and stubborn to understand nuance.  Sometimes, all you can say to a person like that is, "hey, this is the assignment, do your best."  If you are like most professors, you are available for consultations, any student can bring the assignment to you before it is due and ask if they are on the right track.  So the student just needs to wing it and be resourceful.

Whenever I have had an assignment that did not make sense to me, I have always found that at the end of the day, it wasn't nearly the mountain of complexity I thought it was.  It would probably help to reassure students like this person not to overthink it....though by now she should have enough experience to know...



-- Edited by blink at 16:06, 2008-02-04

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blubirde


Chanel

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I'm surprised she talked to you like she did. Maybe it's just me but I'd be hesitant to speak badly to someone who controlled my grade. Her choice I guess. Obviously she lacks a little common sense or she wouldn't have had the conversation with you that she did.

It must suck to be a teacher - a communicator - and have someone not get it. That said, if all the other students comprehend the assignment and your communication style, it's her. It's nice that you really want her to get it but if she's the dumbass refusing to do the assignment, that's on her.

I might not be the best person to be giving advice because I have no sympathy for people acting foolishly. Bright side: you get to give her a big, fat F for not doing the work. That's got to feel a little better, right? (Or maybe not - again, I'm very intolerant to lack of basic knowledge and understanding.)

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pollyjean23


Marc Jacobs

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Miss Mabel, I know what you're going through.  I work as a career counselor at a community college, and I have run into students like this.  It is exasperating.  With these students, you cannot be the least bit theoretical, rhetorical, or anything else that doesn't use concrete facts and figures.  Heck, you can't even give an example sometimes without them freaking out. 

As for why she is fighting you on this, I agree with Elle.  If she truly did not understand the assignment, she might not know better to argue with you on the specific points you report.

Comparisons of the extremes of the Sensing and Intuitive preferences on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (concrete vs. abstract) should have no value judgement (in general terms).  I am extremely INtuitive, and I get super impatient with Sensing people, but I know their way of taking in information is not bad.  It's just different. 

Now, in a college-level course, being overly Sensing might be a problem.  Perfect example is this assignment.  But, if you put a Super INtuitive person in an electrical wiring class, lookout!  We all have different places and situations that are best for our style.

Don't worry about whether or not you are a good communicator.  I am sure you are.  After meeting with hundreds of students day after day, we're bound to encounter someone with whom we are so incompatible, it boggles the mind.  No matter how many different ways you tell this student how to do something, no matter how many interpretive dances you perform, you just may not connect well.  Maybe she can ask another student for advice on how to approach the assignment.  Maybe they can explain it in a different way that will work. 




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Miss Mabel


Kenneth Cole

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Posts: 284
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Thanks so much, everyone. The perspective really, really helps. I'm feeling much more capable of letting it go today. I do think she was just frustrated as you said, Elle (from our conversation, I could tell she hadn't read the chapter in question, so obviously she didn't understand the material), but at the same time I guess I can see how my statement about her being a concrete thinker could be perceived as condescending (though, like you said pollyjean, I don't attach a value judgment to it). Fascinating how people can be soooo different! smile.gif

Oh, and Bluebird, I didn't go so far as to give her an F, but I didn't return any comments on her last two assignments. Wouldn't want to be "condescending" in my comments, now would I?! wink.gif Heheh. I am not above a little passive agressive. Now I can return to business as usual!

-- Edited by Miss Mabel at 22:50, 2008-02-04

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