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dangergirl


Kate Spade

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how to ask someone out? - *little update*
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update - going for coffee at the weekend yay! thanks everyone smile

-- Edited by dangergirl at 13:09, 2008-01-03

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Kelly


Hermes

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how to ask someone out?!
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I usually kind of just get them to ask me out. It's easier!

Basically, I'll be hanging out with a group of people and if people start talking about something (like a new movie, a really great restaurant, theme park, whatever) and the guy seems interested too, I'll just turn to him and say "hey, we should really check that out together" and gauge his reaction. If he seems to like that idea, I say "well, let me put my number in your phone and you call me if you're bored someday"

If I don't tend to see the guy socially, I'll just try to strike up a conversation over AIM, myspace, facebook, whatever and use the same tactics there.

Viola! Insta-date!

ETA: the only pitfall is that I try to be so casual about it (as to not scare him away from being my friend if he ends up not being interested) that usually, they try to be casual in return, at least for the first time or two that we hang out. But after it's clear that I'm flirting with them hardcore, they seem to step up to more "real" dating activities, like making plans a couple days beforehand rather than the day of, etc.

-- Edited by ttara123 at 13:37, 2007-12-29

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jacL


Coach

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I think you should be specific about it...I know a lot of people feel differently, but I personally think a movie is a great first date.  You don't have to worry about running out of conversation and you can go out for dinner/drinks/coffee afterward, or you can feign tiredness and go home if he turns out to be a loser (I have found this works well on Friday nights since you can say you had such a busy week and really need to rest up). 

I have also used ttara123's tactic and it has usually turned out well.  A couple times I have actually told a guy he should ask me out (my girlfriends said I should avoid doing that because it was pushy but, hey, it worked). 

My advice may be totally off-base since I have been dating mostly only one guy for years now, but I am trying to think about what I did when dating or what my dating girlfriends do.  Good luck!

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Kelly


Hermes

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jacL wrote:

 A couple times I have actually told a guy he should ask me out (my girlfriends said I should avoid doing that because it was pushy but, hey, it worked).



That is hilarious and sounds exactly like something I would do. I definitely have to try that!



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kmd


Kate Spade

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I'd go with something like coffee, because that will really gauge whether you have things in common and can have a conversation.  Conversation is key, in my opinion. 
If that works out, then move on to something like a movie.

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blubirde


Chanel

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I like the movie thing, too. Movies are an excellent way to have a conversation topic afterwards. And if it sucks, like JacL said, you've already killed 2-3 hours so it's not that odd to call it an evening.

As for asking out, just do it. Ask him if he wants to go see a movie sometime or something. It's very non-committal and imo, not too aggressive. If he's very enthusiastic about the idea, you can make plans right then or alternatively, you can tell him to call you and y'all will work something out. Then he has your number and can call you on his own, thus giving you another clue as to whether he's interested or not.

Don't be afraid to ask a guy out. If a guy is going to shy away from something like that then he's probably not worth investing in anyway. Good luck!

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blubirde


Chanel

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RE: how to ask someone out? - *little update*
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dangergirl wrote:

update - going for coffee at the weekend yay! thanks everyone smile

-- Edited by dangergirl at 13:09, 2008-01-03


Exciting! How did it happen? Did you ask him or did he ask you or some combination of both?



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