STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

small fry · Chanel

jealousy issues

Drew · Gucci

I'm sorry that Chris isn't sharing in the enthusiasm right now.

-- Edited by Drew at 15:06, 2007-12-18

KaffeeKlatsch · Marc Jacobs

Chris is her son, not her future hubby! :)
Anyhow, yeah, I'm almost positive it will be better when baby arrives...most kids are like that.

Drew · Gucci

leah_leanna wrote:

Chris is her son, not her future hubby! :)
Anyhow, yeah, I'm almost positive it will be better when baby arrives...most kids are like that.

Oh my goodness. Nevermind. I feel so silly now, I have no advice on this one, so I'll just go edit out my original reply. Sorry.

cahabo · Kate Spade

Didn't you mention before about Chris not being fond of the neighbor's baby but eventually warmed up to the baby? I'm sure that will be the case once his little brother arrives.
I was worried about my oldest being super jelous when her little sister was born so the same day she was born I gave her a gift bag filled with all sorts of big sister things. Some family members took her out for the day too. I think all that helped.

HeatherLynn · Gucci

I think this happens with a lot of kids. This is a huge change for him. He has grown up for several years now (he is 7 or 8 right??) being the only one. Then here recently, you have met someone new, are getting married, and having a baby. All of this is very new and different for him and I'm sure he feels a little confused/left out. I think the best thing you can do is to continue to include him, but do it in a way that makes him feel needed and like what he is doing is helpful and couldn't happen without him. Even if it is small things right now to picking out baby stuff to larger things once the baby is here to holding, feeding, etc I feel that will help. It's also important to play with him and talk to him about things other than the baby. Good luck and I'm sure he iwll come around!!

rosie_the_riveter · Gucci

I wouldn't worry too much - once the baby is here he'll probably feel differently. Chris is 9, right? When my sister was pregnant, my nephew was 11 and didn't seem to happy about it. Even the day that my little nephew was born my older one was making mean comments saying that the baby looked like a gorilla (because of the thin hair on the shoulders and back) and that he was ugly. Now, my nephew is 8 months (but it only took about a couple of weeks for my older nephew to have a change of heart) you wouldn't even think that the older one would have reacted that way. He is so attentive and loving to the baby. I hope that Chris comes around as well.

pollyjean23 · Marc Jacobs

Drew wrote:

leah_leanna wrote:

Chris is her son, not her future hubby! :)
Anyhow, yeah, I'm almost positive it will be better when baby arrives...most kids are like that.

Oh my goodness. Nevermind. I feel so silly now, I have no advice on this one, so I'll just go edit out my original reply. Sorry.

Don't worry, Drew. I thought the same thing. I was like, OMG it's Waitress all over again! Whew.

Cricket · Gucci

Don't worry too much, smallfry. He'll fall in love with him when he sees him. He's at a great age right now to be an older brother. Old enough to help out with the baby (although I wouldn't push that. He's a good boy, it'll come naturally), but not old enough that he won't have any interest in anything but himself. He'll come around!

blink · Coach

Oh yeah, been there...still there. My first son is younger though, and my kids are only 22 months apart. His personality literally changed when my second son was born, it was heartbreaking, he kind of ignored me and I would cry (maybe it was just the hormones making me nuts, whatever), but I had read advice about how to help the older sibling feel okay.

Make sure you spend a lot of one on one time with Chris to make him feel special before the baby comes, keep up what you are already doing too. When the baby comes, it's going to change his world, so be more patient and empathetic than you usually would for those first few weeks/months. As soon as the new baby is smiling and laughing, if not before, Chris will really love that he can get a positive reaction by interacting with the baby and things will start to feel more natural. I mean, who can resist a smiling baby? Kids can't either.

Oh, and I have two younger siblings. I totally remember being less than thrilled before they arrived, but once they did, I became like a second-mama!

blubirde · Chanel

This happened to my nephew when my niece came around. I was around my SIL a lot then and there was a bit of drama with him. One thing the family always made sure to do is to pay attention to the older one when we came over before we went to see the baby. It made him feel like we weren't there just to see the new baby, that we were there to see him too.

Focusing on Chris being a brother, a big brother, might be a way to go about it. When you're picking out clothes for the new baby, furniture, decorating the room, etc., make sure to get his input as a "big brother."

I totally agree with spending as much one-on-one time with Chris before the baby arrives as possible. I think it's really important to have some special "Chris" time set aside each week (or day if you can manage it) where it's just you and him, so he can have some sense of normalcy. Heck, he may feel like he gets more of your attention then than he gets now.

When the baby comes maybe you can incorporate Chris into some of your normal routines with the baby, i.e. having Chris read a story to the baby after feeding or something.

But definitely his feelings will change once the baby gets here. They all do. It's family after all, right? Good luck!

small fry · Chanel

Thanks ladies, I feel better now. Chris is 8 now he will almost be 9 when the baby is born.

Cahabo yes Chris warmed up to the baby some after it was around more.

I will cont. to spend as much time with him as possible. The baby is moving more now so maybe Chris would like to feel it soon.

Drew Iam sorry DH is not to involved with baby things. Iam sure once the baby is here things will change.

-- Edited by small fry at 09:03, 2007-12-19

boobaby · Kate Spade

I don't have children, but if you were to look at the just came home from the hospital pictures of me, you would notice the whole family is there except my closest in age brother. Apparantly, he wanted nothing to do with me or my mother at first. Fast forward a couple of months and there are tons of pictures of him hugging and kissing me. smile