STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

KaffeeKlatsch · Marc Jacobs

Warning: Venting and whining ahead...

member · Hermes

Awww sweetie big hugs. I am so sorry you're going through this, your post had me choked up. I don't know if it will help any, but I just wanted to say that I think you're doing an amazing job and I bet your son is so thankful to have a mom like you. The holidays are a hard time for a lot of people - it can be really depressing, but just keep your head up. You are doing all you can do, and I think you're doing a great job. Feel free to vent to us anytime - we're here for you ((((hugs))).

Collette · Chanel

You are not providing a crappy life for your son, you shouldn't even think that way. Really the most important thing in a child's life is his mothers love for him. And it's obvious that he has that and that counts for alot more than you think!

Mandy · Kate Spade

I'm so sorry you feel that way. Like Collette said, you are giving him love and thats most important. No material thing could replace that. He's lucky to have a mother that loves, cares, and worries about him like you do.

Mitz · BCBG

I agree with everyone. You're right, life isn't fair, but you are doing the absolute best you can and no one could fault you for that!

ladysi78250 · Dooney & Bourke

We all tend to have this feeling at one point or another. But try to focus on the blessings that you do have in life. You are a great mom!

Cricket · Gucci

I'm sorry, sweetie. The holidays can be so tough. Just remember that you're doing your best and that your son is loved. Things will get easier.

MissMee · Kate Spade

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: You are more of a woman than I'll EVER be!!!! Your son will grow up to love and respect you more than my children will me. He will grow to appreciate your hard work and your efforts to make his childhood wonderful and memorable. We all have the feelings of worthlessness now and again, especially this time of year. You are the entire world to your son right now and probably always will be. What a great position to be in!!!

clothes_horse · Dooney & Bourke

keep your chin up! :) i have a nephew with autism and i can see how hard it would be, but like the other girls said, you love him and he loves you and that is all that matters. maybe you two could go to some services or something on christmas eve or day and i bet that would make you feel better.
perhaps you could make it your new years resolution to get out and meet new people, maybe you and your son could get together with other kids who have autism. i'm sure there's groups in your neighborhood, or start one if there isn't. or take painting classes together or any other class that you're both interested in. and make sure to get time out for yourself too, you don't want to get burned out.
i hope things start to look up for you! :)

ejc423 · Coach

Big hugs.
Do you have Family Connections or a similar organization in your area? I've had so many parents (I'm a speech therapist) tell me how meeting other families of kids with autism has changed their lives. I'm sure you're probably plugged in to something like that, but if you aren't, PM me and I can use my resources to do some networking for you.
I cannot imagine a better mom than you. You are providing love and support in a mighty way. I hope you will find the same for yourself.

Jamsicle · BCBG

You sound like an amazing mom. I hope this isn't inappropriate, but I was watching CNN's Heroes special.. and I'm not a regular CNN watcher but I saw this special segment about how one girl worked with her autistic cousin and reached her through music. It was totally cool.. I also read about how some autistic children have super amazing hearing, and with treatment to reduce their hearing, they're able to enter the mainstream. I think the story I am mentioning was pioneered in the US by a kid named Georgie. I'm sure you've heard it all before, but I just wanted to offer whatever I knew because I think you're wonderful. I'll be praying for lots of light in your life- it seems like you definitely deserve it.

rosie_the_riveter · Gucci

Big hugs to you. I'm so sorry you feel the way you do but like the other girls have all said, your love and caring for your son are more valuable to him than any material thing. You are a great mom to your son.

KaffeeKlatsch · Marc Jacobs

-- Edited by leah_leanna on Sunday 25th of July 2010 05:37:02 PM

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

I'm sorry hon. People like you are why we have support programs. Because you're working hard, and you have a lot to contribute, and you are awesome and special. You just need some help right now. I would start finding it. Do you live in a small town or a big city? I'm sure your son already has a case worker. What else are you using? Do you have a protective order against the husband? (I've been there, btw, it's terrifying).

Help is out there. And you deserve it.

I am so sorry you are going through this. It's a long, hard road. And all that about "Life isn't fair..." is what you tell four year olds when they are upset about who got a bigger piece of cake. It's not really applicable to things like this. It is true that life can be random. That's why we all need to help each other when we can. I hope you get the help you need. Please start asking and don't stop until you get it. You deserve everything we can give you.

ayo · Coach

Collette wrote:

You are not providing a crappy life for your son, you shouldn't even think that way. Really the most important thing in a child's life is his mothers love for him. And it's obvious that he has that and that counts for alot more than you think!

Ditto this..

Teresa · Kate Spade

eek, i feel so bad I had no idea you had all of this on your plate! first of all, last summer i volunteered at the Frasier school, which is a charter school in Minneapolis (free) which specializes in autism, I saw a whole lot of parents who didnt give a damn, and then i saw those few who were trying SO hard to give their child everything they could to thrive. Let me tell you, even if those few children were more severe on the autism spectrum, they made far more strides in the classroom and labs. The absolute best thing you are doing, with or without autism, is loving your son. I know you know that. I also know sometimes it just doesnt feel like enough, so take heart, remember that without love we would be nothing and most importantly, remember you will be okay. You are a phenomenal mother. It shows. Hang in there through this awful season and remember just how important you are in your sons life. xoxoxo!

needsfashionadvice · Kate Spade

I'm sorry that things are so tough for you right now. I imagine it must be really hard to feel as if you never catch a break. You have to realize that you're doing the best for your son and I'm sure he knows just how much his mom loves him. That's all a person ever really needs. When I was younger, my mom was a single parent and stuggled like crazy to make ends meet, we did without a lot. When I got older, I realized what an awesome person she was to always have made sure me and my siblings felt loved even though I'm sure she felt depressed and hopeless 99.9% of the time.

You are your sons safe person, you love him, feed him, put him to bed at night and for that, you're the best mom in the world. You ARE doing your best and that IS good enough.

littlebean · Kate Spade

I just realized I forgot to respond to this before. I am so sorry that things are tough right now. My thoughts are with you.

blink · Coach

I am so late to read this...sorry! I know you will get through this, since you wrote this the other day, you probably already feel better. As for the holiday blues aspect, just keep reminding yourself that the market economy created this monster and it's not about the real reason we celebrate Christmas.

As for the rest, I think you are so smart to be able to see and verbalize the reality and the gravity of it all. Someday soon you are going to look back at this time in your life and smile because you were one who really did it and maybe you will help others get through Austism parenting someday.

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

leah_leanna i think you're one of the bravest, most amazing people I've ever "known" and I think your son is very very very lucky to have you.