STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Kitty · Hermes

Suddenly really insecure..

Kelly · Hermes

That's so weird. If you're in the healthy range, and nothing has changed, what is her problem? We've all seen you in TS, you're not overweight!

Elle · Hermes

Just because you could lose 5 lbs doesn't mean you should. If you're exercising and eating well, healthy, and most importantly happy with yourself, who the fuck cares what you do weigh?!? Trying to lose 5 lbs you didn't previously think you needed to lose is only going to gain you alot of anxiety and obsessiveness and a very slightly smaller number on an otherwise arbitrary scale. Not really better for your body and certainly not better for your mind, stupid asshat doctor.

In all seriousness, I'd write her a letter. It doesn't have to be a mean letter, but I think it's important to communicate with her about how offhand comments like that have serious effects on patients minds/bodies/lifestyles. What if she said something like that to someone with a (known or unknown) history of disordered eating or distorted body image? IMO your thoughtful feedback should be valuable to her, and I'd personally see how she responded to the letter before deciding to stay or go elsewhere.

-- Edited by Elle at 16:46, 2007-11-12

Kitty · Hermes

Thanks, Elle. Part of the reason this is bothering me is that I do have a history of disordered eating and she KNOWS that and she still said something.

I'm most likely going to switch doctors.

FashionPrincess · Hermes

I agree with Elle. And yes, we've all seen your ts post and you look great!

sydney · Kate Spade

I think doctors in general are starting to become more aware of BMI as opposed to overall weight. It's probably a good suggestion, just to keep yourself in top health, but nothing to stress over - 5 lbs is barely anything in this country. Heck, you should be proud!

Metric · Gucci

I'm no expert on weight loss but would 5 lbs really make a difference? If I remember correctly, isn't a "dress size" about 15 lbs? Would losing a 1/3 of a size really make that much difference?

If it makes you feel any better, last night I had my friend's 6 year old son ask me if I had a "baby in my tummy". hmm

gingembre1 · Kate Spade

My BMI is in the "overweight" range, and I've never had a doctor say anything. In fact, if anything they say I'm really healthy. So very strange that your doctor made a comment like that when you're within the healthy BMI range...

NCshopper · Hermes

That's weird. I like the idea of writing her a letter and stating that you felt her comment was inappropriate given your history of an eating disorder (which she knows about). Given that you're still within the realm of a healthy BMI, I don't think she has any right to say anything and she should know that if she continues to say stuff like that to healthy patients, she'll end up alienating them. And I'd still change doctors and let her know that you plan on doing so.

Don't let it mess with your head. You look great and from your TS posts, it doesn't look like you need to lose any weight at all! That really sucks that she said something to make you feel insecure. (((hugs)))

-- Edited by NCshopper at 19:44, 2007-11-12

Cortney1982 · Chanel

I would be confused. You look slender in your thread style posts, so I don't get it!

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

I think you look great!

Maybe schedule another appt with your doctor to discuss in detail how this is making you feel emotionally - in light of your past eating disorder.

littlebean · Kate Spade

Ugh, I had a doctor tell me this once, as well! Like you, I'm in the healthy/normal BMI range, but closer to the high end than the low end. I'm not skinny, but I think most people would consider me slender and I have a healthy lifestyle. It made me so so so so upset to hear that! I used to always worry about my weight and that made me super insecure. Now in retrospect, I think, why was the doctor wasting his time telling me -- someone who was exercising, eating vegetables and within the healthy range -- to lose weight when more than half of Americans are genuinely overweight! I think the same about your doctor -- that's a ridiculous and irresponsible thing for her to say and I encourage you to switch. I did and it was a great choice!

erin · Chanel

i would switch doctors. i think it's weird to suggest losing five lbs. if it were more (which you don't need) i could see. my mom's doctor told her to lose 25 because she's at risk for diabetes but it sounds like your doctor didn't even give you a reason.

Teresa · Kate Spade

BMI is not the most accurate measure of healthy weight. For instance, Last summer I weighed five pounds more than i do now, becasue i had more muscle mass. Now, I havent been working out due to mono, and I've lost weight. Your doctor should know better.

eta: http://suewidemark.netfirms.com/bmi.htm

-- Edited by collegegirl5858 at 12:51, 2007-11-13

Drew · Gucci

If your doctor were truly concerned about your health and weight she would have spent some time going over your diet and fitness level, instead of throwing out such an off-hand comment that really seemed to come out of left field. She should have discussed with you healthy options for a woman your age if she had any concern, she should have had a discussion with you to even determine if you have unhealthy habits instead of addressing your weight, as if that is the only determinant for health. I too would switch doctors and send the letter as notice of why.

For what it's worth, in my totally unprofessional opinion, I think you look really, really great and would never, ever think you have weight issues.

blubirde · Chanel

Bad, bad doctor! She was incredibly irresponsible with her advice. Even if you go to another doctor, I'd still write a letter like Elle suggested. She needs to know what she said was wrong and why.

This is completely offhand but are you by chance thinking of having a baby? Or have you mentioned it in the past as something you'd want to do in the near future? The only reason I ask is that one of my girlfriends was told by her doctor to lose some weight, even though she's in a healthy weight range, because she's thinking about trying to get pregnant in the next couple of years. I'm not sure what the purpose or the science was/is behind this bit of advice but maybe that's where the dr. was coming from? It's a complete stretch...

bloomie · Marc Jacobs

First of all I don't know why she would tell you to lose weight. You look slender in the pics you post and you have a fantastic figure. I would find a different doctor.

greendiamond · Marc Jacobs

I read this post yesterday, and it's still bothering me that your doctor said this.

First of all, you look great.

Second, BMI isn't the best indicator. For example, My husband ranks in Obesity class 2 with his BMI number, but really only has about 10 pounds to lose. He ranks so high because of muscle mass. 10 pounds would not drop him to the healthy range.

Third, five pounds isn't enough weight to change anything in an adult. When most people receive advice to get to a healthy weight, a lot of doctors start with setting a goal that is 10% of their body weight. And, since 5 pounds isn't 10 percent of your weight, it doesn't make much sense to me (not that this is a rule, but a lot of people setr out to lose 10% because it will lower their risk factors).

5 pounds is vanity weight in an adult. And, since the only thing that matters is that you are healthy and happy with your self, I say switch doctors, let the new doctor know why you are switching, and write the letter to the old doctor, as well as their supervisor. Luckily you are smart enough to question this doctor. I'd hate for her to do this to someone who didn't know better.

nunzi182 · Kate Spade

I'm so sorry this happened to you! Something similar happened to me a couple of months ago. I went to my sister's doctor for the first time and she warned me that she was a health nut. When I was leaving she tried to get me to take a health/fitness/diet guide but I "forgot" to grab it. She had sent me for bloodwork and it came back that my cholesterol was ever-so-slightly high and she told me I had to cut down on things like carbs. I didn't think carbs were a HUGE contributing factor to cholesterol (she didn't tell me to cut out shrimp, ice cream, butter, or other fatty foods). She just wanted me to go on a diet. Anyway, I had to get more bloodwork done and they told me they had this diet guide to pick up when I get the labform. I called them and asked them for fax me the form and the nurse said there was a huge diet guide for that she couldn't fax and I told her that was fine, that I just needed the labform. So I evaded the diet guide once again.

I have to add, that I'm not exactly skinny, but I'm not fat or obese. I'm generally healthy otherwise. I have a few pounds to lose, but I'm happy with who I am and could care less about what some doctor thinks I should be. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, there are a lot of insensitive doctors out there.

TheLovelyLady71 · Hermes

WOW, I agree w/all the other ladies, you look great. But me, I'd more than likely find myself a new doctor. You LOOK JUST FINE, esp. in your TS posts, not sure why you EX doctor told you that, esp. w/your history. Don't feel too bad though. We're all on your side. :)