STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Ok, I'm a little late to the discussion, and you're going to think I'm crazy, but I've seen this situation a lot. So, this may sound nuts but it will work...

1) I suspect that the pattern is: They yell at you and complain you aren't being nice enough or working hard enough. Then you defend yourself, which gives them more opportunities to complain. Then you work harder, which is an upside for them. Take away that upside. Don't do things that can make you look bad to other people who don't know the situation, like being on the internet or taking breaks or talking back. But don't work hard for these people. There's no money in it. They're not going to do anything for you. Screw it. You can't do a good job there and get out too. You also probably can't make them happy no matter what. You just can't. So work on getting out. And just, don't, do a good job. (I know this advice is going too really curl your hair - but I think your work ethic is being used to manipulate you, so in this instance, it's ok to not work hard for these people).

2) Answer their criticisms witha question, "You think I should stay later?" "You think I have a poor attitude?" "Can you give me an example?" Make them spell out what they want. They're asking you for illegal activity. Make them say it. They're implying that you're incompetent. Make them say WHY. Just look at them and let them feel stupid while they try to make you feel bad. You are strong and you can do it.

3) It sounds like you are usually a very conscientious worker, and most places appreciate you. So it feels twilight zone to you to be somewhere where the harder you work, the less credit you get for it. I don't know what's going on there, but it sounds like they have their own agenda - to get you to work illegally without pay and feel badly enough about it all that you won't complain or come up with the wherewithal to get out. You have to get out. Forget them.

4) I'm really sorry about your old job. Losing a situation like that is as hard as losing a loved one. There are always more people to love, even though they don't replace anyone who's lost, and there are always more good jobs. You will find one. Everyone's pulling for you. You're not alone with your loss. There are more good things out there and you will have the job you want. Soon. Big hugs.

Kitty wrote:

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Have you decided anything Shopchicago? YOu have definitely been in my thoughts!! I hope things are improving.

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Thanks for thinking of me Kitty!  Yep, I decided to quit.  I met w/one of my job recruiters yesterday and she already has a temp job lined up for me, so I know I'll have some money coming in.  She's also got 6 possible full-time jobs to send me to interview on, and I'm meeting with 2 more recruiters this week.  As a last resort, I know I can go get a seasonal retail job if push comes to shove.

I feel so much better being free of that awful place and those horrible people.  It was totally toxic.  Thanks for asking - I'll keep you posted on how my interviews go!

Yay!! I'm glad you decided to quit, I definitely think that was the right decision!! No one should stay in a work environment where they are essentially being abused.