STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

member · Hermes

nm

Kelly · Hermes

Feeling Depressed about my Job Situation

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

Poor thing. That just plain sucks. Being in a bad job is horrible, it's like a bad relationship except you have to stay because of the money. I'm so sorry.

Do you know if anyone from your old job can help you find something? Like where are old coworkers now? Maybe you could get back in touch with some of them and see?

Try and keep your chin up and sooner or later (hopefully sooner) something will turn up. In the meantime, feel free to vent away, we've all been there.

Kincali · Dooney & Bourke

I don't really have a solution, but I can tell some things to help you get through the situation. I know that Karina and Kenzie have gone through similar experiences, so maybe they can jump in on this.

It is one thing to hate a job, and feel like you are overworked/abused.  Then to have someone say that you are not doing that horrible job well turns the situation into pure hell. Anytime you are reprimanded I think it can lower your self-esteem, but in situations like this it makes you hate the job that much more.

Anymore I think being assigned tasks outside of your outlined responsibilities is par for the course these days. Not that it is right, but I've found it doesn't help a lot to complain about it.  I would keep track of the things you have done, and that way when you go into your next review you'll feel more prepared to dispute their accusations.  I'm not very good at surprise assaults. Once I have time to analyze and process I'm a stewing bubbling mess.

Do you need this job to pay your bills?  If you need to keep this job until you find another one, you have to pretend. Say good morning when you walk in, say have a good night when you leave. Being a positive happy team player(fake or real) is what you want to be right now.  If you feel the urge to talk about this to co-workers-DON'T. Keep your misery for home, you don't want them to see you as the bad apple ruining the morale of the group.

Also I would stay off the internet. You don't want to give them any more reason to come down on you. Your number one goal is to keep this job until another one comes along.

It has to suck to come from the same working environment for the last 7 years and being introduced to new ways of operating.  Try to be fair and see if you are resisting change or is this job really not a fit for you.

Keep spreading the word that you are looking for another job to friends and previous co-workers. Did your previous company go completely under? If not contact them and let them know that you are still interested in being with the company if opportunity opens up again.

I'm sorry you are going through this, I've been in a similar situation.

halleybird · Hermes

I am so sorry SC! The right job is waiting for you out there. I can't remember what you do for a living, but have you looked at jobs outside your current field? I.e. if you're used to working for investment banks, have you checked smaller companies, HR jobs, etc? Hang in there.

squishy · Coach

if i recall, you had a great working relationship with your former boss. does he have any connections?

bad jobs can completely suck the life out of you... hope you can get out soon. good luck!

Kitty · Hermes

Is there any chance you could get another job at your old company?

I felt similar to how you're feeling when I realized working at the boutique was a mistake. It's a horrible, horrible feeling.

jacL · Coach

Well, you know how I feel about those people at the investment bank--they are complete jerks!

I think squishy had a good idea by seeing if your former boss has any connections you could work on.

You will find a better job soon!

dangergirl · Kate Spade

i don't have any advice but i'm sorry you're going through this. i hope another job comes along soon, you're in my thoughts.

joy0302 · Kate Spade

I am sorry you are having to deal with all of that! I have lost two jobs due to layoffs in the past and it is very hard. Just play along while you have to, like the others have said, and keep looing for something else. You never know the situation at your current job may get better.

I have been at my job for 10 years. I started 2 days after being layed off from my last, and I hated every minute of every work day. I cried every single night that I wanted to quit. I stuck it out though while trying to find something else and then they ended up firing a few people who were making it difficult on others. Once they were gone it was great place to work and I now love it. You just never know how things will change and work out, but just know that they will. Keep us posted and I will be sending you happy vibes!

Suasoria · Chanel

What a tough time you're going through. You're on the right track, though - keep looking. Something better is definitely out there!!

member · Hermes

Thanks for all of your support girls. Unfortunately, my situation has only gotten worse since I posted. I've been doing everything I can - busting my butt -working tons overtime, having a positive, cheery attitude and it's still not good enough. My boss (I have two- but the office manager is the one who pretty much handles everything) is a total shrew. I truly believe she is trying to force me to quit. On Friday, she had a meeting w/me to tell me how much I suck, how she would have never hired me for this job, she doesn't think I'm capable, and I should really think about whether or not I want to come back or not. She asked me if I was happy there, and of course I lied and said yes and she said , really, I don't think you are. She then told me that she's still getting negative feedback about me - I don't have a good attitude, etc. I feel like I'm in the twighlight zone - I get along w/everyone, I'm super nice and cheery and I do everything asked of me.

I seriously think I'm quitting. I don't think I can go back there and pretend anymore. My spirit is totally broken and I'm so miserable, I can't even concentrate there. What is the point of going in if nothing I do is good enough? The worse part is - I can't even find time to interview for other jobs because they have me so overloaded with work, I can't find time for a lunch break. Which by the way - she told me I shouldn't take a lunch and should work as much overtime as possible - even though I don't get paid for it. And about that - I'm administrative staff so it's illegal for them to not pay me overtime.

Right now I'm 95% sure I'm not going back tomorrow. I don't want to get fired and have to put that on job applications either.

I just needed to vent and look for any last minute advice cry

Kelly · Hermes

*Update* Feeling Depressed about my Job Situation

boobaby · Kate Spade

I'm so sorry! If you can afford to, just quit. That soul-sucking hell hole doesn't sound like it would be good for one's self esteem, which is important when job searching.

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

Honestly - let them fire you so you can collect unemployment. She probably wants you to quit so she can force you out so its nice and clean and easy for her. Trust me firing someone is not always easy to do- and some companies get a little worried about lawsuit ets from it.

I personally would make it tough on them - go above her head and complain about the overtime situation. Tell her directly that you gave alot of thought to her conversation and you are more than happy to continue working hard and having a good attitude, BUT you wont be working overtime as she suggested that is unpaid.

Make them look like the bad guys , then on your lunch and free time look for another job.

Kincali · Dooney & Bourke

I'm so sorry SC. I'm sure people thought my previous advice was strong, but I've been in that situation, and I could see where it was heading. Once someone wants to get rid of you it is hard to change their mind unless you have someone higher up on your side.

She is bordering on harrassment and becoming personal with you, and I would probably go to Human Resources first thing Monday morning and report her. You could tell them your work environment is becoming threatening and toxic and she is causing you emotional stress. I would also mention that as an hourly employee you are not receiving your lunch breaks and that you were encouraged to skip them by her.

I think there are some HR girls on here, hopefully they can tell you the best way to handle your situation.

-- Edited by fairlight at 11:28, 2007-11-04

boobaby · Kate Spade

AllieGurl wrote:

Honestly - let them fire you so you can collect unemployment. She probably wants you to quit so she can force you out so its nice and clean and easy for her. Trust me firing someone is not always easy to do- and some companies get a little worried about lawsuit ets from it.

I personally would make it tough on them - go above her head and complain about the overtime situation. Tell her directly that you gave alot of thought to her conversation and you are more than happy to continue working hard and having a good attitude, BUT you wont be working overtime as she suggested that is unpaid.

Make them look like the bad guys , then on your lunch and free time look for another job.

Actually, I agree with this, but I know how hard it can be to be in a toxic work environment. I can see both sides. I personally would put up quite a fight, but that is the govt. employee in me.

member · Hermes

I guess I should explain the company a little more. It's a very small company, who pretty much play by their own rules. I fully intend to file a suit with the EEOC about not being paid for overtime and being forced to quit. They're just lucky they haven't gotten reported yet. I can't go to HR. It's 1 person department and she's already BFF w/my bitch manager. One thing you guys have to understand, is that there is no one looking out for me at this place. No one. Everyone on management staff there thinks all of the administrative staff sucks and there's no one there who has our backs.

I could stay and let them fire me, but honestly, then I have to check that box on job applications that I've been fired and have to try to explain that. I think that will make my job search harder.

I can't afford to not work, but I'd rather temp than be in this environment. They/she is making my life a living hell. I also hate to be a baby, but if I don't work overtime and get everything done, I just get yelled at, told I suck, made to cry, etc. It's a lose-lose situation - at least that's how I feel.

kenzie · Chanel

Wow, shopchicago, I don't know how I missed this post the earlier, but I just read the whole thing and I'm really sorry that you're going through this. It reminds me of my last job in retail management when my boss was a crazy bitch and told me how stupid I was and how I couldn't do anything right. Whatever. I knew she was wrong and just a jealous, miserable old hag, but it still made going to work horrible. So, as you may recall, I quit without having another job lined up and ended up getting an almost-as-crappy temp job a few weeks later. I was generally treated like crap there, as well. Then I found the job that I had before my current one, which was okay for a while, but you all know that story.

Of course, all of the those crappy jobs and situations brought me to my current job, which is great. I have good bosses, a good creative team, good pay, good benefits, lots of opportunity, I'm not overworked, I'm not underpaid and I'm finally happy and I realize that there are actually decent companies out there.

So, I suppose my point here is, if you can afford to quit, then quit. Get a temp job, but know that it might suck, too. But, also know that you will eventually find that golden opportunity and when you do, all the crap you went through to get there will be okay. Not that you'd want to go back and do it all again, but at least you'll know that the path you were on, with all of it's crappiness, was the one that led you to a great job. Not to get all cliche, but really, everything does happen for a reason. I used to scoff at that one, until recently, when it seems, I've been proven wrong, both in my personal and professional life.

Hang in there! Keep us posted.

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

Just had another idea -

If you are going to quit, you should write a letter documenting exactly what caused you to leave (overworked, not paid overtime, innapropriate boss etc) and send it to yourself and your HR dept certified so that it goes into your file. I would also send a copy to the company president/owner.

That way if you quit and they put something nasty in your personal file, you have documentation backing your side of the story should the need ever come up.