STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

needsadvice123 · Nine West

REALLY need some help....

KaffeeKlatsch · Marc Jacobs

(((hugs)))
I'm so sorry you are going this and I wish I had some good advice, but all I can offer is my sympathy.

Suasoria · Chanel

Counseling will help - if nothing else because you're carrying a big burden right now and you're dealing with it all alone, plus working and raising little ones. If you can't go as a couple, go alone for now. Talking it out with someone objective should feel really good.

I think it's likely that his insane schedule is taking a bigger toll on your marriage than you realize simply because him being gone feels like the "new normal" for you. I would also say that your change in feeling toward him is partly a reaction to something, even if you can't put your finger on it or put it in words.

DH and I went through counseling after about 8 years together because things were going badly with us (I felt some of the same feelings as you, like we were more like roommates than lovers and I was happier and more relaxed whenever he was gone). Anyhoo, the main thing we learned is that even a big problem can be helped through proper communication, and bad communication makes small problems enormous. A counselor can definitely help you express yourself and still be sensitive and respectful so that you aren't hurting him.

Hang in there - you're motivated to make it work, and that's a big plus.

Mandy · Kate Spade

((((hugs))))

I agree, I think you should definitely try counseling. Hopefully it will help you rekindle things and work through whatever is keeping you from wanting to touch him. But if not, at least maybe it will help you better sort out your feelings and figure out what you want. Maybe you could go by yourself at first, then with him.

HeatherLynn · Gucci

I agree with the other girls, at least give counseling a try. You owe it to yourself and your family to see if that helps you with your feelings or can save your family. Good luck and I'm sorry you are feeling this way!

FashionPrincess · Hermes

I also think you need to talk to your husband about how you are feeling, it's only fair to him. I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers! ((Big hugs))

needsadvice123 · Nine West

Thank you so much for the comments. I really do need to talk with him, it is only fair, and I owe it to my marriage and my kids to make it work. Thanks for letting me vent! You guys are the best!!

cinderella4282 · BCBG

Good luck. You deserve to be happy . . . and I think being honest and talking about your feelings will take you a long way towards that. {{hugs}}

emery · BCBG

I am sure we will all be keeping you and your family in our thoughts. Good luck!

blink · Coach

needsadvice123 wrote:

We havn't had sex in almost 3 1/2 weeks.

Sorry if this sounds insensitive, but is that considered to be a long time? hmm

As for the rest, do you know or can you pinpoint when you started feeling this way towards him? Do you know what it is you don't like about him? Short of comparing your relationship to mine, I can tell you that I know exactly why my feelings toward my husband have waned...and it was gradual, not one incident caused it, but it is due to something he has done and even some things he has not done over too much of over the years. So what I am getting at is, do you have any idea what's changed, what is was that made things different three years ago?

Kitty · Hermes

I think you should go to counseling whether or not you decide to stay with him, but I agree with the others - you should give it a shot before you throw in the towel.

I also agree w/ whoever said that there must have been something to trigger the sudden change in feelings and I bet that therapy would help you figure out what caused it. ANd help you get at some of the root of the problems.

Good luck!!