Okay, I feel stupid for even posting this, but I am trying to keep from hurting feelings *and* also trying to have my birthday party when I want to have it...
Here's the deal:
I turn 40 on 9/3. I want (for the first time ever) to have a big bash, and have been talking about this with friends and DH for some time. DH is not a planning type guy, so some of my girls have taken over the party planning. We are doing a costume party, with regular invitations, catering, etc. The date is tentatively scheduled for 8/31. I have two issues with this - one, it's a Friday night, not a Saturday night, and two, it's Labor Day weekend. I think a lot of people will be out of town.
We talked about moving the date to 8/28, but one of the planners is out of town that weekend. We also talked about 9/11 and 9/15, but one of the other planners is out of town until the 16th...and the weekend after that, I am working so that won't work.
I'm kind of leaning toward the weekend of the 11th - I would really like to have a big turnout and I'm afraid Labor Day weekend will mean very few people will be around to attend. But I don't want to cut out one of the girls who is doing a lot of work for this...though it's not my fault that she's traveling to Europe for two weeks in Sept...right?
Am I just being selfish? I proposed the weekend of 9/22 (I don't personally care that it's three weeks after my birthday), but the girl who's going to Europe said "Oh no, that's too late to have it". I feel a little frustrated and don't know what to do. I'd really appreciate any advice...and I have to get back to them pretty soon about the date thing as they are going to send out a "save the date" e-mail.
TIA
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"Good taste shouldn't have to cost anything extra." - Mickey Drexler
Maybe tell her it's either the 22nd or the 11th. Tell her you'd like her to be able to attend, which is why you suggested the 22nd, but if she thinks the 11th would be better, you'll do that date instead.
This is a tough situation. I'm in something similar, but its still the early stages. We are throwing a friend an engagement party and the weekend they picked to have it I'm out of town. I don't feel like I should help plan (and pay for) a party that I'm not going to be able to attend so I just backed out. No one (myself included) had hard feelings about it. I think as long as she hasn't had to pay for a bunch of stuff for it there shouldn't be a problem. If she is helping pay for it then I think she should be included in the party. Good luck!! Sounds like a fun party.
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"Despite all your best intentions, sometimes, fate wins anyway."
Maybe tell her it's either the 22nd or the 11th. Tell her you'd like her to be able to attend, which is why you suggested the 22nd, but if she thinks the 11th would be better, you'll do that date instead.
I'm a little confused because some of the dates mentioned are Tuesday?
But, either way, I agree w/ jrhamt. Tell them you want to do a Saturday that is not on Labor Day weekend and that'd you'd be happy to wait until 9/22 if that's the way it has to be.
I say go for the 22nd. If the only complaint is that it's too late, then that's nothing. Everyone will be there and you'll be happier. It's perfect. Just explain it to your friends/co-planners and tell them people have told you they usually travel on Labor Day or whatever, so you want to have it on a different weekend. They should definitely understand - especially if it's your party.
Keep in mind this is YOUR birthday, not theirs! I think the 22nd is fine. It's still your birth month and less than thee weeks from your actual birthday. It's better to have a later party than have one earlier where people might not show up.
I say go for the 22nd. If the only complaint is that it's too late, then that's nothing. Everyone will be there and you'll be happier. It's perfect. Just explain it to your friends/co-planners and tell them people have told you they usually travel on Labor Day or whatever, so you want to have it on a different weekend. They should definitely understand - especially if it's your party.