I went to TJ Maxx yesterday and purchased a couple of large items. I got out to the parking lot, stuffed most everything in the trunk of my car with the exception of a tall shelf thingy which I was going to place in the back seat. Long story short, I decided to lower the rear window so the legs could poke out the window. Next to the driver's side, where I was also messing with the shelf, was a huge SUV which pretty much concealed me.
A little background - this TJ's recently experienced some muggings in the parking lot - it borders a questionable area. I also knew I was being watched in the store by two different men - it made me nervous and I thought maybe they were waiting to see if I left my purse unattended...
Anyway, back to the car...
While I am preparing to maneuver the shelf out the window and close the door, Out of nowhere this man appears with some bags with wonderbread in them. He said something undiscernible, and I said "what's up" in a stern voice. He asked me if I wanted help with the shelf. I said, that I would like to try to get it between the seats maybe, so I tried to lower the driver's seat and he tried to maneuver it in. The seat wouldn't lower enough, and I said, that wouldn't work, and that I would just have it stick out the window. He held the legs while I closed the door. Good samaritan, right? I thanked him and next thing I know he started moving in close to me and asked me if I could "help him out."
Here I am, between my car and an SUV, keys in ignition, door open, random man moving in on me, and I said "wait! hold on a minute!" and I jumped in my car, slammed the door locked it, looked up and his face was in the window, started it up (and luckily there was no car in front of me in the parking lot) and gunned it the hell out of there.
I was scared shitless. Funny thing is that I second guessed myself, like if he was just begging, that I felt rude for doing that. But I know I did the right thing - it would have been stupid to get suckered and regret it later. Who knows what would have happened had I gone for my wallet - he may have stolen it - among many other possible scenarios.
Anyway, I was very shaken, and I will never go to that TJ Maxx again. I should probably never accept another man's help again either and that makes me sad.
I am glad I read those tips though, I don't think I would have felt as threatened had I not recently read the parking lot attack scenarios...
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"Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess." ~ Edna Woolman Chase
The only way I knew to say that was from an experience an old neighbor of mine had.
She came home to find a man in her kitchen. Don't know what made her think of this, but she said, "oh! you must be here for the package!" and said that she would go get it and asked what he needed from her. He got all confused and ran out!
Anyway - I think that's where I got the "wait! hold on a minute!" thing - because I took note of how clever she was and tried the same technique - it's not what they expect to hear and it throws them off... At least we can learn from each other's experiences...
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"Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess." ~ Edna Woolman Chase
Oh my god, D. I'm glad that you're okay and nothing terrible happened. It just really goes to show anytime, anyplace. I like to think that I'm safe during daylight hours in a public place...but that really doesn't matter anymore. Did you file a report with the police or store? I would think that they would want to know about suspicious activity, especially given the recent muggings there. Anyway...glad that you're safe! Have an extra glass of wine tonight!
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"But I want you to remember, I intend this breast satirically." Susan from Coupling
you know, relrel, I should report it. a friend of mine thinks I should contact the store at least so that they are aware. I should probably report it to the police, but nothing actually happened (I didn't give it a chance.)
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"Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess." ~ Edna Woolman Chase
Wow- that is super scary. Good for you for staying alert and thinking fast. I think I would at least notify the store - maybe they might beef up security?
well, I called the store and told them what happened and they said they would let the "dress manager" know, whatever that means. I also told them I would be reporting it to the police.
so, I called the police and they told me I had to submit a report in person... when I will be able to do this, I don't know...
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"Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess." ~ Edna Woolman Chase
Oh, the police should come out to you..actually. I've had to file a police report once because I was attacked/harassed in downtown SF. The police actually came to my work to take my report.
Oh, the police should come out to you..actually. I've had to file a police report once because I was attacked/harassed in downtown SF. The police actually came to my work to take my report.
hmmm - they didn't offer that to me, but they did ask where I live - which is a different city - maybe that's why?
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"Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess." ~ Edna Woolman Chase
Oh my god!!!! Good for you! I'm not sure I'd be able to think so quickly if I were in that situation. I always second guess myself and feel bad when I assume people are being creepy and in retrospect feel guilty because I think they may have just been trying to be nice. I know I shouldn't feel that way, though - there are plenty of creepy and scary guys out there. There's one guy who rides my bus, who offers to be my pimp regularly. He's so scary! I try to ignore him, but then he just gets angry with me. It's gotten so bad that complete strangers have stood up for me or gotten off at my stop just to watch me.
A couple days ago I went to Wal-Mart at 3AM. I parked in the middle of an empty area, with the theory that no one could hide in a car or behind a car, etc. I was in line for about 15 minutes while some guy ahead of me kept having problems with his check. I was buying motor oil and underwear, the guy behind me kept trying to offer his help and was making comments about how the underwear I had was really pretty and sexy. It CREEPED ME OUT! I kept saying that my boyfriend was in the car waiting to help me (which he wasn't) and kept talking about how he was a policeman and how he used to be in the military (which he's not and hasn't!). He ended up cutting in front of me because the guy who was having problems with his check was his friend, and they decided to buy everything together. Even the cashier said that they were giving her the creeps after they'd left. As I was leaving, they were just sitting by the door and I was afraid they were waiting for me. I felt like an idiot, but I asked the greeter to watch me until I got in the car.
If I had to think as quickly as you, I'm pretty sure I'd be a goner!
-- Edited by ttara123 at 17:49, 2007-04-24
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Fashion is art you live your life in. - Devil Wears Prada | formerly ttara123
My dad is a retired police officer, so I have a hard time accepting that someone is just trying to be nice in these situations. I think you did the right thing.
Sometimes the most effective way of avoiding an attack is not your first instinct. Years ago I was on crutches. I was on the last train car coming home at 7pm in the middle of winter. Eventually, it was only me and some creep who was drinking a six-pack on the train and staring at me. As I was getting off at my stop, he got up at the last second and started following me. Being on crutches and the platform being snowy, I was moving pretty slow. Everyone from the other cars left the platform before I was even halfway to the exit. He was walking slowly behind me, clearly up to no good. I wanted to run, but I couldn't. I was all alone on the platform except for him. So I just stopped in my tracks and turned around and stared him down. It was really scary, but what were my options? He laughed at me and then unzipped his pants and started peeing on the tracks. I started towards the exit again and luckily for me, another train pulled up from the opposite direction and I was able to blend in with that crowd.
I'm not sure I'd be able to think so quickly if I were in that situation. I always second guess myself and feel bad when I assume people are being creepy and in retrospect feel guilty because I think they may have just been trying to be nice. I know I shouldn't feel that way, though - there are plenty of creepy and scary guys out there.
I feel the same way. Good for you, D!
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"We live in an age where unnecessary things are our only necessities." --Oscar Wilde
This is so scary. I am glad you thought fast and got the hell out of there. It sucks that in the middle of the day you have to worry about this kind of thing. I am "on the road" all day everyday and find that I am always looking over my shoulder. Even tonight, I'm traveling on business and staying in a hotel and I asked for a ground floor room just because I don't like to get on an elevator and walk through an empty hallway by myself.
I found myself in a similiar situation as you one time in the parking lot of a restaurant I went to for lunch (by myself). This guy in a suit (a cheesy, door-to-door salesman-type suit) started to approach me and for whatever reason I started screaming "get away from me"-I totally freaked the dude out and he did leave. Then I started guessing myself too, just like you did, thinking he probably was begging or selling something. Oh well though, he should have known not to mess with or even talk to a woman who is alone.
On another note, I have begun to be very paranoid in my own city. I hate how violent it has become here. Even in the "nice" areas there are drug dealers and other "up to no good"-types all around. I have begun to really rely on my intuition and if for any reason something feels off, I will stop and get out of the area in question. I hate that I am becoming paranoid all the time because I am and have always been a VERY independent person.
I am glad you were able to think smart and move fast. And thanks for sharing the rape tips with all of us.
I'm glad you're alright. As for the guilt, yeah, I've felt that way too. But predators know how to play a woman's emotions and use that for all they've got, so don't feel bad. By the way, I like your "Oh! Wait a minute!" line--it's totally disarming and confusing for them and *hopefully* gives you enough time to get a head start on them to a safe place.