Okay, I know zilch about baby etiquette and whatnot...
One of my friends who lives out of state is having a baby. I got an invitation in the mail today to a shower in her honor in less than two weeks. My semester is in the hectic throes of finishing up (2 huge projects, 2 papers, 4 exams in the next three weeks) and there is absolutely no way that I can attend on such short notice. So, do I need to send a gift anyway? I know for bridal showers the answer would be no, but then there's also the wedding to give a gift for and I don't know how that works when people have a baby. When is the appropriate time to give a gift, if I want to give one? When am I obligated to give a gift? I know I can send a gift even if I don't attend the shower, I just want to know what is polite and appropriate. Cause I'm anal like that.
I might add that this was my maid of honor in my wedding who's having a baby, we used to be very close, but have fallen out of touch a bit and she didn't even let me know she was pregnant until she was almost 6 months along. I have no idea how that's relevant; I think I just wanted to vent.
i think you're not required to send a gift, but it's a nice gesture if you do, especially to someone who is as close a friend as this person is/was at one time.
if it were me i'd think about the friendship -- if i wanted to give a gift to this particular person, even if we had been out of touch lately (and not telling you she was pregnant for six months is a pretty huge thing to skip over), i'd give it. if you could also go in on a gift with someone who's going to be there if that is easier.
you could either send a gift now, or you can send a gift once the baby is born. that's my understanding. i'm thinking that if she didn't tell you about the pregnancy until six months, she probably won't announce the birth for a couple weeks after the birth, so if you want some time, you will probably have quite a bit of a window period after the birth .
i like to buy gifts right away for people who register, that way i'm not stuck giving a craptastic gift, so that's something else to consider since a lot of people register for baby gifts.
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"i tell you one lesson I learned
If you want to be something in life, You ain't gonna get it unless, You give a little bit of sacrifice, Oohh, sometimes before you smile you got to cry.." -The Roots
When I don't or can't attend baby showers I just send something little, like a fuzzy blanket or some cute little clothes from Target, just to show I care and all of that. I don't know what the exact ettiquette is, though.
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