STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

subwolley · Kate Spade

Ouch - I got rightfully slammed.

wetbandit42 · Marc Jacobs

I agree with everything that's been posted. Who would take offense to a 'yo momma" joke? Your friend needs to lighten up.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

i agree with the others, she is definitely over-reacting. and waiting a couple days to then email you about it and be so vague about what offended her sounds totally passive-aggressive.

if i'd been there i'd have laughed at your joke. it sounds like you were all just being silly and having a good time! don't be too hard on yourself about this. smile

ranchera20 · Marc Jacobs

WOW!!!
Ummm I'm speechless! I would have so started laughing I heard you say that. I wouldnt worry too much about it. It was nothing offensive and obvious you were just trying to lighten up the mood.

NCshopper · Hermes

Misty wrote:

Uh, I don't think you were "rightfully slammed" at all. This girl is way too sensitive and obviously has no sense of humor. Who the hell hasn't heard of "your mamma" jokes? I think it speaks to your character that you apologized to her; I would have told her to lighten up or something to that effect. ;)

I totally agree. Who hasn't heard of a "your mamma" joke? Seriously??? I think you were right to apologize, but I really wouldn't worry about it. At the most, it was *slightly*, and I mean slightly, unprofessional, but considering the context of the situation and the joke itself, I find it hard to imagine how she could be really offended by it.

Kelly · Hermes

ILoveChoo wrote:

maybe her mother died when a huge cake fell on her and she was squashed? So that by saying the cake was her mama, she tought you were makign a creul joke about her mother actually being in the pan, under the cake....

If not....she needs to lighten up.

ROFL this is the only case in which I think she could be rightfully offended. I agree with everyone else - you can both let it go now, but she was ridiculous to make a big deal about it in the first place.

rosie_the_riveter · Gucci

As Farrah said in another post that I thought was so hilarious; tell her to go scratch. LOL.

kittenheels · Coach

That is all kinds of strange. Don't worry about it too much!

Hermes

this is hilarious - as if you were implying her mother was actually in a box - give me a break confused

jacL · Coach

Umm, I say this all the time (and, yes, I do laugh every time too)...I really hope I do not offend anyone but these jokes are so common, I do not even understand how someone could get offended.

You were right to apologize since it did offend her (but why?!) but don't worry about it anymore.

Suasoria · Chanel

The only thing you did wrong was...um, nothing, except be born with a delightfully odd sense of humor. I blame your mama.

Clearly this chick is a freak, but I guess the lesson in it is we can't forget that people around us can and quite possibly will be freaks. Particularly the people crazy enough to work where we do.

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

This totally just happened to my friend's mom. One of her coworkers barged into her office and said she'd never been so offended in her life at some off-the-cuff remark my friend's mom made. It was ridiculous, I was like--this lady must've had a very charmed life if your little remark is the most offensive thing she's ever had to deal with in her whole life! Anyway, we were discussing the situation over dinner and here's what we came up with:

Some people use their feelings as weapons. Kinda like playing the martyr but not exactly.

Basically, they use their alleged hurt feelings to put others in a submissive, apologetic position and have something "over" on them.

There's even a social psychology theory on it (I'll ask my friend's boyfriend, he'll remember what it's called).

So anyway, it's very possible that this girl is trying to manipulate you.

Of course, maybe not and it's totally possible that she really was hurt and is trying to be more open w/ her feelings, etc. It's hard to tell without getting a vibe as to how she is in general.

Whatever though, it was totally just a joke and you certainly shouldn't feel mortified about it. I'm sure you're totally professional and damn good at your job (didn't you just win a trial not too long ago?) so don't let her demand for an apology shake your confidence. HTH!

joy0302 · Kate Spade

That is funny because the same thing happened to me at work last week. A coworker, whom we joke around all day everyday, got so mad. We always play around and I said something to her, which was NOTHING offensive at all and she was so mad. I guess she was just having a bad day, but I told her she needed to get over it. I also told her that if we joke around everyday how was I to know that was the day that she was not going to have a sense of humor. I felt a little bad, but I knew it wasn't anything I had done to her. I will probably not joke with her anymore though since it is apparent that she is kinda crazy!! weirdface

So don't feel bad! You did nothing wrong. If she was offended by that she needs to live in a bubble.

honey · Gucci

one of the really interesting things i've learned in school is that what matters is not how you perceive yourself it's how others see you, and manipulating those perceptions to your advantage is a good tool for dealing with others. the point being i think what matters is that she (for some reason only God knows) was offended. as someone else pointed out she could've been having a bad day. i would guess that it's probably not the "your momma" thing that upset her, but maybe she perceived it as a flippant remark to her question, so that's what set her off.

anywho, i don't think you did anything wrong at all, but just wanted to add another perspective. apologizing was the right thing to do. i wouldn't sweat it. you're fabulous and totally professional. if she is some crazy over sensitive type (the most likely scenario), it's probably clear to everyone else, and they're probably equally dumbfounded by her over the top reaction.

-- Edited by honey at 17:05, 2007-04-14

alb · Marc Jacobs

Misty wrote:

Uh, I don't think you were "rightfully slammed" at all. This girl is way too sensitive and obviously has no sense of humor. Who the hell hasn't heard of "your mamma" jokes? I think it speaks to your character that you apologized to her; I would have told her to lighten up or something to that effect. ;)

ita with misty, although i would have reluctantly apologized, exactly as you did. she seems a little uptight and melodramatic to me. and who in the world would find that line "hurtful"?? It's not as if you were actually criticizing her mother! i'm so vicariously annoyed with this person!

-- Edited by alb at 09:37, 2007-04-15

zeitgeist4 · Gucci

I read this post when it was first posted, but I held back on commenting. I couldn't figure out how someone could be offended by a "your mama." I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks her reaction was ridiculously sensitive.

Claudia · Gucci

She definitley overreacted, but I think it's important to be cautious You never know how someone might percieve something. There are some people with no sense of humor. I would have laughed my head off.

dangergirl · Kate Spade

honey wrote:

one of the really interesting things i've learned in school is that what matters is not how you perceive yourself it's how others see you--

this is something i learnt recently on a placement where my supervisor said i was abrupt, which no-one else has ever said to me before.
so i guess your co-worker/friend is a bit over-sensitive and perceived your joke as some kind of insult, but for the record, i found it funny biggrin