STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Metric · Gucci

a situation of complete weirdness (also a Metric update)

squishy · Coach

eek. since she's inviting herself, it sounds like she's pretty much set on going.

if she's your +1, will you have to be with her the whole time? if she's good friends with other people, she can mingle and catch up them, while you hang out with your boy (congrats, btw!)

i don't think there's an easy way out of not inviting her (what a cumbersome sentence, but i hope you know what i mean). as long as she understands that 1. you're only her date nominally, so 2. you're not going to be attached to her hip but instead will be 3. rather conspicuously making out with L in the corner, it sounds manageable. with a vat of wine, of course.

good luck!!

eta: wtf! my favorite beer emoticon changed!

-- Edited by squishy at 03:32, 2007-04-11

NCshopper · Hermes

Congrats on seeing a new nice boy! I'm so happy for you!

As far as your friend goes, I'd just suck it up and take her. It'll be the path of least resistance in the long run and I don't think it's worth it to make it into an issue, you know? You might want to take separate cars though just in case she runs into awkwardness w/ her ex and wants to go home and you and your man are still having fun and don't want to leave.

Have fun! (trying this new beer emoticon that squishy mentioned) beer

atlgirl · Gucci

First, how awesome that you are now having dating fun after the stories you'd been posting. Glad the weirdos gone! And that's a great story about how you met. I hope your ex realizes what he gave up. *smirk*

Second, I guess it wouldn't be the end of the world to bring your friend as your date so she can get in, but make it clear to her beforehand that your attention will be focused elsewhere. I'd hate for her to impinge on your good time. And NC's suggestion of separate cars is a good one too, so she can leave (if necessary) without you having to. Is L picking you up for the event? If so, your friend could just drive herself and you all could meet at the door.

Have a GREAT time!!

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

Yup, I agree with everyone else. Have her take a seperate car, you go with the boy , meet her at the door and then let her mingle. Besides her entire point in wanting to go is to see everyone there (not you) so she should be fine with this.

relrel · Marc Jacobs

Eh, I'm a little more wary to letting her come as your date. I think you need to realistically figure out the odds of her and the ex making messy loud drama and then you getting dragged into the mess or dragged out of the place to be a BFF. If there's any chance of that happening- then nope...can't take her.

I think you would be a much worse best friend if you did take her, there was drama and then you didn't go somewhere off with her and instead hung out with the new boy. Be a bad friend upfront and don't take her is actually what I think you should do. Sorry- I know that it will be tricky explaining it but I think it will turn out much much better all around if you don't take her.

This is your chance to shine and show up all the nobodies from high school...and to be all shocking with your new boy. It's not her chance to come see some people that she used to know who went to a different school. And if she sees some of these people in life now, then that's a definite no to the date.

Besides all the drama possibilities...it's not her high school reunion. Period. I might be unfriendly bitch for saying this but- if I went to my high school reunion and there was somebody there who didn't graduate with me and wasn't a husband/wife/GF/BF then I would be sorta pissy. I can't really explain it, sorta along the lines of "Who does she think she is? She doesn't belong here." Take that for what its worth- coming from a generally pissy woman.

I would just tell her no- that you are worried about her and the ex being in the same room with alcohol involved. Period.

luckylily · Gucci

relrel wrote:

Besides all the drama possibilities...it's not her high school reunion. Period. I might be unfriendly bitch for saying this but- if I went to my high school reunion and there was somebody there who didn't graduate with me and wasn't a husband/wife/GF/BF then I would be sorta pissy. I can't really explain it, sorta along the lines of "Who does she think she is? She doesn't belong here." Take that for what its worth- coming from a generally pissy woman.

I kind of agree w/ what relrel is saying here.

I don't think she should come, but it isn't about drama for me. I always think that the opportunity to bring a date to an event is intended to mean bringing an actual date not a friend who might happen to enjoy the party. I think it's borderline tacky.

And Yippee for the new boy! I'm really happy for you.

Kelly · Hermes

I agree with relrel and luckylily, although I don't have any kind of suggestion on how to tactfully tell her that.

But congrats on the new guy!!!! I think it'll be awesome showing up at your reunion with him...you'll shock the pants off of everybody biggrin

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Glad to hear about the boy. And if your friend is a good friend, I would just take her and tell her that you hope she understands you want to spend some time being "datey" with the boy. Like other people said, take separate cars. It shouldn't be a big deal.

But, dont' take this the wrong way, something about this post sounded "cliquey" to me. Like you dont' want to be stuck with the dud at a party with your friends. And she's been a friend longer than the new boyfriend has... (You've known him, but he wasn't the one who was ther for you, is what I mean). So I could be reading this totally wrong, and I'm really sorry if I am. But I think not taking her sounds kind of cold. I would be really hurt if I were the friend in that situation. I probably wouldn't talk about it, you're lucky she is. Because I would just back away from the friendship for a while.

To be fair, I guess she could only want to go because her ex will be there. And I could see avoiding that. But the way I'm reading it, I bet she's just feeling lonely and wants to see the people she used to hang out with. Whenever there's a breakup, it seems like the girl gets dumped by everyone. A friend of mine is going through this now.

sfclinevandy · Coach

This is going to be harsh, but I think she would look pathetic if she went. The fact that her soon to ex husband will be there only makes it worse. I understand that she wants to see old friends but I think high school reunions are really for the people who went to school together and their respective dates/spouses.

I haven't had my 10 year reunion, but we had a 5 year. After the reunion a lot of people went out to another bar in a big group. If this sounds like something that might happen, maybe you could make plans for her to meet you and her other friends out AFTER the actual reunion.

Farrah · Marc Jacobs

luckylily wrote:

I don't think she should come, but it isn't about drama for me. I always think that the opportunity to bring a date to an event is intended to mean bringing an actual date not a friend who might happen to enjoy the party. I think it's borderline tacky.

And Yippee for the new boy! I'm really happy for you.

ITA. Good for you on the new boy and if she is really your friend she will get over you not taking her. If this ruins your friendship she wasn't your friend in the first place: she was using you for your ticket. (Dear lord, I think I am turning into my mother, ha!!!)

lynnie · Chanel

yay about the boy!

Could she go w/any of your single guy friends from hs? I think it would work best if she went w/one of her mutual guy friends (since she has so many friends from your school apparantly), and you went w/your date.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

Hooray for the new boyfriend! Your description of that really brought a smile to my face. How cute that you'll be going to your high school reunion together as a couple.

As for the thing with your friend, it's a pet peeve of mine when someone says to me "you have to do xxxx" the way she did. When that happens I automatically don't want to do what the person is saying. That is probably an immature reaction but oh well! :)

I do feel sympathetic that she must be going through an incredibly painful time and want to see old friends who she may not have seen lately because of the divorce, but it also seems like it has the potential to be a very awkward situation. If this is such an ugly divorce, do you think she and her ex would get in a fight? And I also agree that this is a gathering for people from your class and their respective spouses/dates. I don't want to sound cold, but it's not just a regular party.

So, do you think you could talk to her about this and that she would take well the idea about driving her own car?

littlebean · Kate Spade

AllieGurl wrote:

Yup, I agree with everyone else. Have her take a seperate car, you go with the boy , meet her at the door and then let her mingle. Besides her entire point in wanting to go is to see everyone there (not you) so she should be fine with this.

I agree.

blubirde · Chanel

Hooray for the boy! That's such a great story. Definitely keep us posted on this one. wink

As for the friend, I don't see any way out of taking her, especially since she really wants to go. But I agree with everyone else that she should understand your actual date is the boy, although she may be your technical date. As long as she gets that you're not going to hold her hand all night, she should be good.

Good luck at the reunion!