I received these in an email and thought they were funny.
Lesson 1: >> >> >> >> A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is >> >> finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. >> >> The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs >> >> downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands >> >> Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, >> >> Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." >> >> >> >> After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her >> >> towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a >> >> few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. >> >> >> >> The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back >> >> upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband >> >> asks, "Who was that?" >> >> >> >> "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. >> >> >> >> "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything >> >> about the $800 he owes me?" >> >> >> >> Moral of the story: >> >> If you share critical information pertaining to >> >> credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you >> >> may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2: >> >> >> >> A sales rep, administration clerk, and the manager >> >> are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil >> >> lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie >> >> says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." >> >> >> >> "Me first! Me first!" says the administration clerk. >> >> "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, >> >> without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. >> >> "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to >> >> be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my >> >> personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas >> >> and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. >> >> >> >> "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. >> >> >> >> The manager says, "I want those two back in the >> >> office after lunch." >> >> >> >> Moral of the story: >> >> Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 3: >> >> >> >> A little bird was flying south for the winter. It >> >> was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground >> >> into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow >> >> came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen >> >> bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to >> >> realize how warm he was. The dung was actually >> >> thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, >> >> and soon began to sing for joy. >> >> >> >> A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to >> >> investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered >> >> the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly >> >> dug him out and ate him. >> >> >> >> Moral of the story: >> >> (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. >> >> (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. >> >> (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep >> >> your mouth shut! >> > This ends the 3-minute management cou