STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

I received these in an email and thought they were funny.


 Lesson 1:
>> >>
>> >> A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
>> >> finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
>> >> The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
>> >> downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
>> >> Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word,
>> >> Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
>> >>
>> >> After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
>> >> towel and stands naked in front of Bob.   After a
>> >> few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
>> >>
>> >> The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
>> >> upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband
>> >> asks, "Who was that?"
>> >>
>> >> "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
>> >>
>> >> "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything
>> >> about the $800 he owes me?"
>> >>
>> >> Moral of the story:
>> >> If you share critical information pertaining to
>> >> credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you
>> >> may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:
>> >>
>> >> A sales rep, administration clerk, and the manager
>> >> are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil
>> >> lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie
>> >> says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
>> >>
>> >> "Me first! Me first!" says the administration clerk.
>> >> "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat,
>> >> without a care in the world."  Puff! She's gone.
>> >> "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
>> >> be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my
>> >> personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
>> >> and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.
>> >>
>> >> "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
>> >>
>> >> The manager says, "I want those two back in the
>> >> office after lunch."
>> >>
>> >> Moral of the story:
>> >> Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 3:
>> >>
>> >> A little bird was flying south for the winter. It
>> >> was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground
>> >> into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow
>> >> came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen
>> >> bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
>> >> realize how warm he was. The dung was actually
>> >> thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy,
>> >> and soon began to sing for joy.
>> >>
>> >> A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
>> >> investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered
>> >> the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly
>> >> dug him out and ate him.
>> >>
>> >> Moral of the story:
>> >> (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
>> >> (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
>> >> (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
>> >> your mouth shut!
>> > This ends the 3-minute management cou