First, I am having surgery to remove the tissue expanders and placement of implants on Wednesday. On one hand, I am reeeeeeeeeeally not looking forward to it because I don't like being cut open, and on the other, I want to get on with my life and this surgery is getting me closer to that.
I made the mistake of reading my CA125 test results this AM. The CA125 is one of the tests they use to monitor the protein count in my blood - this can serve as an indicator of ovarian cancer. Again, it's just one marker they use, and it's not fool proof, but I went from 11 in July, to 32 in November to 38 in January. 35 is the high minimum of the test, and with my gene mutation, my chances of getting ovarian cancer are 30% already without a high CA125.
Anyway, I'm really upset and just so fucking scared. I hate this shit. I have spoken to my gyn's nurse and she's telling me to not worry, but I can't help but worry. Plus, I'm all worked up over the surgery and all I can do is cry at my desk and try to not let people see me.
Anyway, good vibes and good old fashioned STer lovin' might help me feel better right now... Who wants to jump on my pity bandwagon? There's lots of room! Humor is welcome! Make me laugh please! I'm sick of crying!
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"Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess." ~ Edna Woolman Chase
I am so sorry, D! Now, I'm not looking for sympathy here, but I'm getting a cavity filled in a few hours and I'm freaking out about that. I freak out over every routine procedure, so I can only imagine what you are going through.
But look on the bright side, soon you will be through with this and you'll probably get some good drugs out of it. I love being all doped up for a legit reason. No one expects you to pull your own weight or even be coherent. Take advantage of that time and make your loved ones work!
boobaby wrote: But look on the bright side, soon you will be through with this and you'll probably get some good drugs out of it. I love being all doped up for a legit reason. No one expects you to pull your own weight or even be coherent. Take advantage of that time and make your loved ones work!
SEE! there's a silver lining to every cloud! I must confess - I am looking forward to a new batch of vicodin...
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"Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess." ~ Edna Woolman Chase
SEE! there's a silver lining to every cloud! I must confess - I am looking forward to a new batch of vicodin...
If I were you, I might be up for some vicodin haze online shopping. It might yield some "interesting" purchases. Anything you've been considering but your practical side keeps telling you no?
HeatherLynn wrote: Aww D! I'm sending good vibes your way and you will definitely be in my thoughts.
How's your mom doing?
mom is doing ok - enjoying some weight loss - another silver lining. she was of no sympathy today though, as her most recent CA125 was 800... she's saying it's nothing to worry about, but I don't want to end up in her situation, and I'm super high risk, so I can't help but worry.
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"Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess." ~ Edna Woolman Chase
SEE! there's a silver lining to every cloud! I must confess - I am looking forward to a new batch of vicodin...
If I were you, I might be up for some vicodin haze online shopping. It might yield some "interesting" purchases. Anything you've been considering but your practical side keeps telling you no?
yes... this happened the last time around... I'm not very good at letting my practical side tell me no anyway :)
when I'm home all doped up later this week, I'm sure you'll see some damage posted in the shopping pages
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"Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess." ~ Edna Woolman Chase
IMO vicodin hazed ebay shopping gets even crazier than your average drug-hazed shopping! Probably more prudent to shop at a place that has a good return policy, though .
Stocked up on a trashy magazines? Have your list of drug-nausea preventing takeout menus/numbers handy? Netflix/pay-per-view?
Now, really most importantly, have you decided on your hospital hairstyle for this time around? Last time was beautifully executed, but you know you can't wear the same hairstyle to two events in a row. It just will not do!
Hang in there, babe! We're all pulling for ya - calming vibes and quick healing and all that good stuff.
Is your doctor supposed to be calling you back? If not, I'd call and make them promise they will - at least they'd be able to frame your results realistically for you. I never feel like you can trust the nurses you talk to on the phone - how do they always manage to sound like they're lying through their teeth, no matter what they're saying?
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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment ~ {Ralph Waldo Emerson}
please try not to worry! i'm wondering how statistically significant a 32-38 difference is. it may not even count as an increase because the difference is so small. i don't think that's much of a reassurance to you, though. no more bocce balls!
good luck! i'm going to send some mara hoffman lovin your way today.
I'm thinking of you, and I'm sure everything will be fine! Don't cry - wouldn't your doctor have called you if he thought it was something you needed to be concerned about?
Is your chest going to be bigger or smaller than before? I'd like to see what kind of drugged-up bra purchases result from this. I know that's the first thing I'd shop for, and if I was on drugs I'd either end up with a million grandma bras, or a million "interesting" ones.
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Fashion is art you live your life in. - Devil Wears Prada | formerly ttara123
(((Hugs))) Everything will turn out fine. Sending good thoughts your way.
Speaking about doing impulsive things on pain killers,I was on them a few years back for dislocated shoulder,well I was convinced I could do anthing. I cleaned my whole apartment and wrote two four page pappers in five hours. When my friend called and asked me how I was doing I told her I felt super human. Me and my friends still have a good laugh over it.
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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering when all this was going to happen. Try not to over-think all of this, although I imagine it's hard not to.
We're all here for you and we'll all be thinking about you tomorrow.