STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Metric · Gucci

Ex MIL

Alegria · Kate Spade

Do you think her motive for dinner is just to hang out with her? I'm thinking maybe she'll ask for her jewlery back or make a plea for her son. I think I would go just because I have a hard time saying no, or I would just keep making excuses as to why I can't make it. Is it possible to tell her you only have time to meet for coffee? That way you can return the jewlery if you feel you need to but also aren't tied in to a loooooong evening. Make sure you tell her you need to be "wherever" in a certain amount of time so you can leave after a short while.

Kelly · Hermes

I was going to suggest coffee, too. Just say you don't have time, so if she becomes maddening, you can get up and leave. That has to be hard - I'm sorry you have to go through this!!! It's always weird to see an ex's parents after you've broken up. My most recent ex's dad is one of my professors - and I have him every single semester because he's the only one who teaches higher-level classes in my Latin minor! I love my prof to death, and I'm still best friends with my ex, so thankfully it's a lot better than it could be. But right after the breakup, it was awkward!

squishy · Coach

being the tacky-ass person that i am, i would mail it to her. insured and certified.

but seriously, i think shpgqueenet has a good idea... i'd try to meet her during lunch on a weekday, or some other equally hectic time so you have a foolproof escape plan. hopefully you only have to be with her for 30 minutes that way.

luckylily · Gucci

Ick! That sounds like a huge nightmare. I'm down with the coffee tho. Ask her to meet you for coffee instead, that way you can limit the discussion to a half hour max.

Also, you might have to be prepared to tell her that you and the ex are not getting back together and that you aren't comfortable discussing him with her. I think if you are firm and polite, you'll be okay.

blubirde · Chanel

I agree with squishy - try and go for a lunch instead. Or a coffee. That way you can leave in a much shorter amount of time, give the jewelry back, and not be subjected to discussions that make you uncomfortable for a whole evening.

Ugh - it's kind of weird that she wants to meet with you, don't you think? I would never expect that of an ex's family.

FashionPrincess · Hermes

I would say that you're really busy but can drop it by her house. Then when you take it over be sure you are on your way somewhere that way you don't have time to go in and visit. Good luck!

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

Boy, talk about awkward! Maybe your ex MIL really misses you and is hoping you can stay friends, or also hopes she can make some kind of plea for her son. Either way, you have no obligation to come over for dinner (and that sounds so extremely awkward and painful). I agree with the other suggestions about meeting her for coffee or just stopping by.

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

Well if you didnt have a great relationship before, I hardly see a reason to be BFF's with her now. I would however (you have kids right?) maintain a level of friendliness since she is there grandparent. Just reserve your talking/time with her to revolve around your children and not yourself.

I do think coffee date is prob the way to go here.

Kelly · Hermes

so...how did it go?

Metric · Gucci

ttara123 wrote:

so...how did it go?

errr...I'm so bad. I haven't called her back yet. I know I have to but I've been procrastinating. I need to grow some balls.

Alliegirl- we are kid-less. That would be a different situation, I would never withhold grandchildren from her, fortunately there aren't any.

-- Edited by Metric at 22:46, 2007-02-12

Farrah · Marc Jacobs

I wouldn't even bother. Even though you dated him for 7+ years you weren't married to him. That means she wasn't your MIL and you don't owe her anything. Just drop off her stuff when it is convenient for you.

mikacat · Coach

no way, i would go.
life is too short.
you don't owe her.
returning the jewelry wouldn't be a bad thing.

Suasoria · Chanel

IMO, you owe her nothing. There's no reason to hook up with her now that you're not with her son, whether it's dinner, lunch, coffee, happy hour or a can of beer on the curb. You're also under no obligation to return her gifts, but I agree with you that nobody needs that kind of dent on their karma.

My advice would be to give the goods to him and let him return them or pawn them as he sees fit, but the "I'll drop by and return your jewelry now that you're back" is a fine second choice. Have a friend in the car who can honk the horn after five minutes so you can say "Sorry, gotta run" with feeling.