Background: I've know this guy for awhile. We both worked at the movie theatre, he eventually married a friend of mine, they divorced (very amicably--they knew it wasn't working, she has a steady BF now too), he moved to Seattle, where he is currently.
Today, I get an email, at my work email address. At first I was thinking this was total spam, but the details in the email don't point towards that (the bar I go to, my city, etc.). Then, because the words "WE were drunk" were in there, I was trying to figure out which Sean this was, because the one I know and thought of doesn't drink. He's mormon. Here's the first email:
"
Carrie,
Just wanted to let you know I might be in Ames for business in the next couple of weeks. My road trip was awesome. I did lots of thinking, bout what I want in life...and its so clear now. I've been holding it in, but I just wanted to tell you before the end of the year. The fun we have...the good times at Beaudelaire....I keep thinking bout that one night when you were all over me. It was so hot, girl. I know we were drunk, but sometimes to me it just feels like its more there. Just wanted to know if you had any of the same stuff goin on. And that I might have to make a pilgrimage to Ames. A pilgrimage for love. Corny, I know. But I just wanted to throw it out there. If you don't feel the same, no need to bring this up ever again. Won't matter, we'll still be tight. Lemme know.
Sean"
So after getting this, I'm like "Wha...??" and emailed back a couple of times to figure out who this was. Originally I was thinking that this couldn't be THE Sean I know, because it doesn't sound like him at ALL. After those couple more emails, I realize it IS the Sean I know. So now I'm completely speechless and in shock. I've never really thought about him like that before either....He's attractive, but just have never thought about it like that.....
After one of my first responses is this email: " I'm kind of freaking out here, becuase I feel like I've put myself out there, I simply couldn't take it any more. I feel so vulnerable. But I could stop thinking about dancing with you like Marisa Tomei. Your hair and your features remind me so much of her. The beauty that you possess far surpasses hers, becuase I feel like I really know you. I know the real carrie. I see your real beauty, both on the inside, and on the outside. "
And after my last inquiry to confirm who it was: " anyway, i know this must be hard for you, so i'll let it go. obviously you don't feel the same way. i just wanted to let you know the root of my spiritual journey. i'll continue to always admire from afar. "
As of now, I have responded back to him telling him I needed to process this and that honestly I had never thought about him in that way. I also told him I admired him for having the balls to tell me all of that.
So here I am now trying to process all this, still completely speechless. Yeah, wasn't really expecting this in the email today!
Pics of him (from his Myspace....may delete later):
Sigh. I feel like I always write in and say, 'This happened to me..." no matter how weird the story is. So I wasn't going to write in, but no one else said, "Be careful..." So now I'm replying because, um, this happened to me, (and a friend of mine) and I really hope you hold off a little and just be careful. He's being sweet and all, but he hasn't promised anything except a "pilgrimage of love." And you just broke up. He should be a good friend and look out for you. And maybe he will be, given the chance. He just seems to be in kind of a rush.
That is very flattering. But to be honest, it sounds like something is "off" here. I can't put my finger on it, but it just seems off to me. Maybe it's the fact that you've never had feelings for him before, or maybe it's that he really seems to have a thing for Marissa Tomei, or maybe it's the whole "pilgrimage for love" thing that's turning me off, but something about this seems a bit weird. Or maybe it's the fact that he is/was Mormon and seems to be and seems to be going through some sort of crisis with that (as evidenced by him drinking now and divorcing his wife).
Anyway. It's flattering and all, but if you've never had any feelings for him whatsoever, then don't try to make yourself feel those feelings just because he says he has those feelings for you.
Dizzy: I didn't just break up with anyone....?? Anywho, I do plan on being careful.....Not going to rush into figuring this out!
NCShopper: Well, he wasn't drinking, that was a typo (part of one of his email responses that I forgot to paste in here) so that's not an issue. I'm definitely not going to force myself to feel something for him just because he laid this all out for me. This is a little weird just because it was such an out-of-nowhere confession!
Thank you ladies for all the responses! Plan of action is to just proceed with caution and try and sort this out in my head
My bad about the "breakup" - I thought you had a boyfriend you were living with just a few months ago? But I must have mixed you up with someone else - sorry hon!
He is obivously going thru some kind of life change at the moment. He is a young divorced man who comes across a little bit desperate. Correct me if I am wrong here but (and I get this from my mormon girlfriends) dont mormons typically date a VERY short period of time (as in weeks- like both of my friends did) , and then get married? So my question is- is he looking for a new wife? Or is he actually interested in dating you without any expectations?
I have no idea how "active" a morman he is, or if you are, but usually members of this faith are very focused on marriage and building a family. Now I personally dont see anything wrong with that , however I would question that his intentions would be to "start over" and rush into another marriage/family since his last marriage failed.
This is cracking me up - I think it's sweet. But here is what is throwing me. In his email he references the night you were all over him yet you never had those kinds of thoughts about him? So what is his definition of "all over me"? My point is, maybe you had an encounter that he read wrong or something? And - is that you in the dancing picture? He's adorable, btw.
-- Edited by laken1 at 23:47, 2007-01-01
__________________
Who do you have to probe around here to get a Chardonnay? - Roger the Alien from American Dad
laken1 wrote: This is cracking me up - I think it's sweet. But here is what is throwing me. In his email he references the night you were all over him yet you never had those kinds of thoughts about him? So what is his definition of "all over me"? My point is, maybe you had an encounter that he read wrong or something? And - is that you in the dancing picture? He's adorable, btw.
-- Edited by laken1 at 23:47, 2007-01-01
Nope, not me in the dancing pic
As far as being all over him, I was. But I was also drunk and really don't remember it.....Him and everyone else know that when I'm drinking, I'm extremely flirty and touchy feely, so I'm usually hanging on someone. It's not a special thing I reserve for certain people, lol.
CarrieS wrote: As far as being all over him, I was. But I was also drunk and really don't remember it.....Him and everyone else know that when I'm drinking, I'm extremely flirty and touchy feely, so I'm usually hanging on someone. It's not a special thing I reserve for certain people, lol.
I hear ya!
__________________
Who do you have to probe around here to get a Chardonnay? - Roger the Alien from American Dad
I would be very wary. I think a real man with real love doesn't email his professions. Does he even have your phone number? Why wouldn't he call you or see you? I think love is a two way street and cannot be one sided. At this point it sounds like a crush/obsession.
You BARELY remembered him for a reason. It seems like you are trying to talk yourself into the situation just because it has come up. If you didn't like him before, you won't now.
I would be very wary. I think a real man with real love doesn't email his professions. Does he even have your phone number? Why wouldn't he call you or see you? I think love is a two way street and cannot be one sided. At this point it sounds like a crush/obsession.
You BARELY remembered him for a reason. It seems like you are trying to talk yourself into the situation just because it has come up. If you didn't like him before, you won't now.
No no no, I do remember him; I've been friends with him for 6 years (probably should've mentioned that in my original post). I barely remember hanging on him that one specific night.
He does have my phone number, but I'm guessing he was nervous as hell (as I would be if I were telling someone all this), so he took an easier way out to tell me in email. Can't say I blame him, since rejection seems to be softened by seeing it in print rather than hearing it spoken.
I won't be forcing something that I don't feel, so I'm not worried about that at all.