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ico


Dooney & Bourke

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I am gonna try to be coherent
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But I seriously can't understand how Iam behaving like a spoiled child or something like that.

Long story short: I meet a guy in Rome, he's nice, Ilike him and he likes me - he always tells me that. We spend hours on the phone, he's the sweetest guy I have ever met, I seriously can't wait to go back to Rome to be with him. Just to explain how sweet he is: he has a book with 100 love poems by Pablo Neruda. Since last week, when it was 100 days before my return to Rome, he started to write me one of the poem each night, to count the days 'til I am there.

My problem is: he told me he was living with his ex in his place, last year, they broke up last march, he has heard couple of times from her just b/c he still has some stuff she has to pick up sooner or later. I do believe him when he says that he is totally not interested in her anymore.

But what I can't understand is why I am obsessing over the whole thing. Is it b/c he is far? I do trust him, I am positive he won't see any other girl until march, I do believe he has no interest in his ex. But I keep looking for signs of their relationship - like, I found a blog he was writing, and one of the comments mentioned her. And the more I find the worse I feel.

It's like a vicious circle, and I even feel guilty!!! He just asks me whatever he wants to know, so I could do the same, but no, I am just wasting my time on google - and I have quite some work to do.

I am very happy about the guy, but at the same time I feel very bad for my curiosity...

how do I stop this???

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Kelly


Hermes

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awww ico, I'm sorry. I don't think you have to feel like a spoiled child - even though you trust him, there's always going to be the fact that you actually can't see him in action except a few times a year. That takes a lot of trust. I did the same thing with my boyfriend when we first started dating - and he only lives 1 1/2 hours away! I think you just have to get used to asking him what you want to know, instead of snooping around on google about him. (I know that's an awful temptation!)...because if you keep doing that, you won't be able to talk to him about the things that really matter. Maybe talk to him about your concerns. I know that could be hard to do without feeling whiny or feeling like you're fishing for him to reassure or compliment you, but if its this big of a concern it might still be good to talk about.

I don't know any magical way to make it easier, except that if you trust him you have to really trust him - even when its hard. And it should get easier, the closer you two get. If it doesn't, then you have to think about whether its worth it.

I know I probably didn't say anything you didn't already know...but I just wanted to let you know that you're not a spoiled child. You're just a person who's crazy about someone far away. It happens. Good Luck!

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Fashion is art you live your life in. - Devil Wears Prada | formerly ttara123
Eurodaisy


Dooney & Bourke

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Ah, Google-stalking.  Guilty, too.  Right here.  And it's true -- it only makes you feel worse.  I agree with ttara123.  Your feelings are totally natural, especially because this guy is on another friggin' continent!  It's better to just be up front about your uneasiness, and he seems willing to talk it out.  The only thing that can soothe your worries are his reassurances.  And, otherwise, just try to dwell on all the work you have to do.    Good luck!

-- Edited by Eurodaisy at 09:34, 2006-12-28

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Farrah


Marc Jacobs

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One piece of advice: beware of long distance men bearing "original" poetry.  I had one of these in college and I thought he was so dreamy.  That was until he sent me one that sounded a little too familiar...


Umm yeah, he sent me 5 lines from Hamlet.  He sent 5 lines of Shakespeare to a Theatre major that has read his complete works.  Can you believe the complete nerve?!  I didn't care if he actually wrote it, I would have been touched if he told me that they reminded him of me or how he felt about me, etc.  Especially considering what a fan I am of Bill's. 


After that I decided that he would lie to me about a little poem he would eventually lie to me about something big.  Boy was I right - he was also cheating on me.  Super guy, huh?



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ico


Dooney & Bourke

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Farrah wrote:

One piece of advice: beware of long distance men bearing "original" poetry.  I had one of these in college and I thought he was so dreamy.  That was until he sent me one that sounded a little too familiar...


Umm yeah, he sent me 5 lines from Hamlet.  He sent 5 lines of Shakespeare to a Theatre major that has read his complete works.  Can you believe the complete nerve?!  I didn't care if he actually wrote it, I would have been touched if he told me that they reminded him of me or how he felt about me, etc.  Especially considering what a fan I am of Bill's. 


After that I decided that he would lie to me about a little poem he would eventually lie to me about something big.  Boy was I right - he was also cheating on me.  Super guy, huh?




Farrah!
I don't know if that's more sad or funny!!! Sorry 'bout this

in any case - the guy sends me Pablo Neruda's poems, he told me from the beginning they were from Neruda, just asked me if I preferred them in italian or spanish - that's all.
he never pretended they were original works

thanks girls, and thanks tara
today I am so happy, b/c yesterday I got home and found a package from him with christmas gifts

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