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small fry


Chanel

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more shit added ** its me again
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I know you ladies all know about my post a while back with DH, well it has not gotten any better and I have been feeling stressed and unhappy since than. At first he seemed to make a attempt but it slowly stopped. So about a month ago I needed to let my feelings known again so I just wrote him a email but kept it in my draft folder. I figured that way I could see if  these feelings are going to stay or go away. Of course they stayed and today I finally let him read it and this time I explained that I can't do it anymore, Iam drained, stressed and unhappy. I need to be happy again b/c its not fair to me or chris and him. I never thought I would be feeling this way  when I married almost 4  yrs. I feel a weight has been lifted from me since  I let him know but at the same time I feel aweful for feeling this way. He is a good father and a good hearted man but I rather be alone than go through all this.   I know that must sound terrible and selfish.    We are going to wait to tell the family b/c its so close to christmas and we have family coming in from Pa and I dont wont it to ruin the hoildays. I hope this makes sense thanks for letting me vent and listening        



-- Edited by small fry at 09:35, 2006-12-14

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luckylily


Gucci

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RE: its me again
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You don't sound selfish at all!  You have to do what is best for you and Chris.  You've certainly acknowledged that you DH has some good qualities, but those good qualities might not be enough for you right now.


I don't mean to be nosy, but you say "you are waiting to tell family."  Wasn't your DH willing to take any responsibility?  As I recall, a huge part of the issue was that he doesn't help you run the household or bring in any money.


{{{{hugs to you and chris}}}}



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Kelly


Hermes

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oh my gosh, I'm so sorry small fry. I don't know what to say.


{hugs}



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BargainQueen


Marc Jacobs

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OMG, small fry, I feel bad complaining about myself now, I'm am so sorry you are going through this.  Stay strong for you and your son and I hope everything works out for you.

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Mandy


Kate Spade

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you aren't selfish at all.  you deserve to be happy and you deserve a husband that will contribute as much to the house as you do.  you do so much and try to hard for your family, of course its frustrating if he doesn't support you and do the same.  you can get through this.  


(((hugs))))



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small fry


Chanel

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luckylily-  not to worry, your not being nosy. He will telling family members b/c Iam not  doing it all.  


came back to add: that H started looking in the classfied ads after our talk...hmmm a little late and  at this point I dont know if him working would even help 



-- Edited by small fry at 18:11, 2006-12-12

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bex


Chanel

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awww honey, i am so sorry.


(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))


 



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NCshopper


Hermes

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Oh no...I'm so sorry to hear this.   


Please don't feel selfish.  You tried as best you could, but marriages take effort from both people to work.  I'm really proud that 1) you tried, and 2) you're doing what's best for you and Chris.  You two both deserve better.


Anyway, I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers over the holidays.  Know that we're all here for you if you need to talk. 



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ejc423


Coach

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Oh, this must be so hard.  I will be thinking of you.

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atlgirl


Gucci

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I am so sorry - but I think it will be best for you and Chris. I wish things could have turned out differently though. *hugs*

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sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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NCshopper wrote:


Oh no...I'm so sorry to hear this.   


Please don't feel selfish.  You tried as best you could, but marriages take effort from both people to work.  I'm really proud that 1) you tried, and 2) you're doing what's best for you and Chris.  You two both deserve better.



totally agree with everything NC said! I'll be thinking about you.

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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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Sweetie - I'm really sorry. I think the fact that you feel "like a weight has been lifted" shows that you did the right thing for you and your son. And it must be incredibly hard. I'm really proud of you for being so brave. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} We're here for you...

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Cricket


Gucci

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Oh, sweetie.  I'm so sorry.  Please don't feel selfish, though.  You've tried and tried and tried and worked your butt off to make it work.  You've done your best and you deserve to be happy for your well being and Chris'.  You're a strong woman and you'll go through a rough time ahead, but you'll be better off. 


We're here for you.  Vent away whenever you want!



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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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I am so sorry, Small Fry. You are so strong and you tried so incredibly hard -- it sounds as though you gave this everything you could. If you feel a weight has been lifted, that must show you made the right decision. Be proud of yourself. ((((hugs))))

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rar210


Marc Jacobs

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I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this.  Try to stay strong for Chris but don't be afraid to vent to us whenever needed! Marriage in general is tough, even when two people love each other.  Your number one priority has to be yourself and your son.  I'll be praying for you.

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jacL


Coach

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I am so sorry but it sounds like the right thing to do.  As hard as it may be, you are a strong person and you can get through it while helping Chris get through it as well. 

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blubirde


Chanel

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You're not being selfish at all. You've been anything but selfish. I'd imagine marriage is hard enough with two people working at it, much less only one. You've done everything you could, imo, to help him help himself but it's not working. Now you have to look out for you and Chris, the most important person in this whole thing. I think you're doing the right thing. I think you're incredibly strong and brave for putting your foot down. It takes a lot of guts to do what you are doing.


Please vent here as much as you want.


(((hugs)))



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asf


Kate Spade

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good luck, smallfry. it sounds like you're doing the right thing - you deserve to be happy and unstressed. we're here to listen!

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rosie_the_riveter


Gucci

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Posts: 2994
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I'm sorry, Smallfry. That totally sucks that he didn't put the effort into changing. I think in the end though, you and Chris will be better off and a lot happier. Good luck to you, Smallyfry.

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nicoley


Coach

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I know this must have been so hard for you.  But you are such a strong woman to be able to know whats best for both you and your son.  I wish you a very happy holiday season and lots and lots of hugs. 

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