STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

ico · Dooney & Bourke

weird question

Farrah · Marc Jacobs

I would keep it and wear it. Who cares if you aren't together anymore? It was a gift and it is a necklace. It isn't like you are wearing an old engagement/wedding ring. JMO.

asf · Kate Spade

i agree with farrah. who cares who it's from or who sees you wearing it? if you like it, wear it. he didn't want it back, so that's that. it's not like you kept it and told him you lost it or something.

luckylily · Gucci

Yeah, I'd wear it too.

I regularly wear the diamond earings I recieved as a Christmas gift from a serious ex-bf. All of our mutual friends know I got them from him and I still see him from time to time when I'm wearing them. It's never been an issue. My DH know where they came from and he doesn't care either.

cat · Marc Jacobs

I agree with the other girls. I would keep it and wear it and not care what other people think.Why give up a beautiful piece of jewelry that you love and where all the time,just because of what other people will think.

Aurora · Marc Jacobs

I am in the same boat with a few pieces of jewelry too. I just don't know what to do with them and I know I'll never wear the pieces again - too much emotion attached to them. So if you ever figure out what you are going to do let me know.

littlebean · Kate Spade

Yes, I would say to keep and wear the jewelry. I know that I have given my boyfriend some really nice presents that are the sort of thing that he could wear forever -- like engraved Tiffany cufflinks, for example -- and I hope he'll always keep and use them regardless of our relationship!

But everyone is different and if you don't feel comfortable wearing the jewelry obviously that's fine, too. There can be a lot of emotion tied up with these things, so I totally understand. I think that you could eBay the jewelry or sell it somewhere in person (giving it away just seems weird -- I would be aggravated if someone did that with jewelry I gave to them!) and you could donate the money to a charity you find meaningful so you don't feel like you're making a profit.

Kitty · Hermes

Farrah wrote:

I would keep it and wear it. Who cares if you aren't together anymore? It was a gift and it is a necklace. It isn't like you are wearing an old engagement/wedding ring. JMO.

I agree with this.

NCshopper · Hermes

If you're uncomfortable wearing the necklace as it is, you can probably have it remade into a different design using the diamonds and the gold.

gingembre1 · Kate Spade

I say keep it and wear it. I have a gorgeous white gold diamon cut bracelet from my ex, and I still wear it, even when we go to lunch/hang out. It doesn't feel weird...it was given as a gift, and it would be senseless not to wear it. That being said, however, it also depends on whether that jewelry had a particular meaning, the terms on which you broke up... But if things were on finished on generally decent terms, and he didn't want the gifts back, I say wear the pendant all you want.

greca · BCBG

I feel your pain...I was in a similar situation years ago- the emotional "karma" or whatever was just too much and kept me from enjoying the jewelry- so I had them re-made like NCShopper suggested. You can get gold jewelry "dipped" and made into other metals, stones removed, whatever you want.

HTH!

atlgirl · Gucci

Hm. Do you feel the same way about other gifts he gave you? Home-related items, clothing, shoes, whatever? If so, then I understand. If not...what do you think is so different about the jewelry that you are now uncomfortable?

Unless it has a really bad association for you, like it was an "I'm sorry" present and then he repeated the thing he was supposedly sorry for...or an engagement ring, I say keep it and enjoy the gift and the (hopefully) good memories that go along with it.

I have two pieces of jewelry I still wear from previous relationships (most of my exes were not major jewelry guys). One is a tiny diamond necklace that the first love of my life (before DH) gave me, and I remember how loved I felt when he gave it to me. That's a good memory from one of my better past relationships.

The other item is a pair of diamond studs from my ex-fiancee. This was a truly difficult relationship and it was a hard recovery. All the other jewelry he gave me is gone, but he actually gave these to me *after* we broke up, and we'd had a long talk where I really felt like he understood exactly what about his behavior was so hurtful to me. They have a good association for me.

If you can, wear it as a reminder of the good times, and of how you've grown and changed since then. Let it carry positive nostalgia instead of negative, if possible. But if you really can't, do whatever necessary to get it out of your life. Not to get all new-age-y, but Feng Shui and space clearing involve removing items that have negative associations for you, so it's okay to let it go if you must. Maybe you can trade it in at a jewelry store for something else that will make you feel good when you wear it. Or donate it to a charity auction. Let the money do good for the charity.

-- Edited by atlgirl at 01:14, 2006-11-16