STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Metric · Gucci

a friend question

lynnie · Chanel

it would depend on why i didn't like them- if they weren't my type/boring/weren't that cute- no, probably wouldn't tell them. If they didn't seem like good people- i would probably say something voicing my concern in a sensitive manner.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

I would tell. You have to give people credit for being mature enough to handle hearing something that's different from their opinion.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

This is a sticky wicket. I wouldn't say anything unless he seemed like a bad person. If he's just blah but she really likes him, and you say something, then it creates weirdness in the friendship. And if she gets serious with him, the friendship would probably suffer more. So, what is it about the guy that you don't like? Do you think she has doubts and that's why she's asking your opinion?

calichic · Dooney & Bourke

I would say something, but really cushion it. "I don't like him, because x,y,z." That is if he seems to be a good person. If you see that he has obvious character flaws or relationship breaking flaws (cheater, abusive, etc) then yeah, no need to cushion, just lay it all out there. You might want to be careful though, it could break your friendship. I hope that it all works out.

Kelly · Hermes

Would I? No. A lot of friends ask my opinion and I always cop out by saying that I don't know him as well as she does, that I'm not a part of their relationship, so I can't judge it. But I regret that, because some of my friend's SOs are people I really don't think they should be with. But those are the people who I know would hold it against me if I voiced my true feelings. I think it just depends on the friend...good luck!

kittenheels · Coach

I probably wouldn't say anything. Unless he is a bad person, or if you are worried that their relationship is unhealthy, violent, etc. It's so hard to comment on a relationship from the outside looking inside.

blink · Coach

yeah, I always give my opinion if asked, I try to remember that it's all relative anyway. There are some things I tolerate that my friends wouldn't and vice versa. I have a pretty honest relationship with all my long time friends. I expect the same from my friends.

luckylily · Gucci

Yeah, I would probably *gently* give an honest opinion. However, if you've only met the person once or twice and don't know them well, I'd probably let it go and say that you don't know them well enough to judge. I don't think it would be fair to provide negative comments unless you were perfectly confident that the person was bad news.

That said, I wonder why someone would ask something like that. Are they worried about their own judgement? Is there some reason they are concerned about the new relationship?

wicked · Coach

I would. About 10 yrs ago I was crazy over a certain guy and my older sister got tipsy and told me (unsolicitedly) that she thought he was really, really bad for me. I had been blinded by lust and she was completely right about him. I think back to that night and i'm greatful that she gave me her honest opinion.