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Post Info TOPIC: Surgical Menopause...long
itsapinkthing


Coach

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Surgical Menopause...long
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Okay perhaps this goes in Health and Beauty but there are really so many issues I am trying to deal with here. I have been told by my doctor that my remaining ovary has become surrounded by dermoids and requires surgery. He seems less than confident the ovary can be saved. I had my other ovary removed in 1999 for very simalr reasons. Here are some things I trying to sort out and I thought maybe get off my chest...Amnong the worries of major surgery, laparotomy, and leaving my 4 month old for the stay in the hospital

The issue of no longer being able to have children. I have 2 beautiful daughters. Both of which were complicated pregnancies. In my eyes they are one of the best things I ever did. I alway wanted 3 children. Even after the high risks of my last pregnancy, which caused my husband to weigh heavily against any more children already, I still though I could do it all one more time. I still think that everytime I look at Madeline. And no it is very likely that the decision is no longer mine. Although I will still have my uterus, egg havesting is not possible, with the removal of my ovaries from this condition it is also likely that my uterus will not function in a predictable manner to carry a donor egg. I feel blessed to have my girls but extremly saddened to lose my ability to have more children.

HRT, hormone replacement therapies. With the loss of my second ovary hormone function will cease. This is basically menopause 20 years earlier than normal. There are risks to hormone replacement therapy, including breast cancer. But for me the risk of not producing estrogen, which aids in the preotection against heart disease and osteoperosis as well as other things, is worse. It not menoupausal symptomes I worry about either. With the blood disorder I have estrogen puts me at higher risk for blood clots, this is why I can't take the pill. There are other therapies but I worry about the search for what will work for me. How long will it take, what will happen to me in the meantime, will the symptoms make me unbearable to live with (I remeber how hard it was for my family with my Mom)? And part of me screams I AM 30! I should not have to worry about this now. These are my reproductive years. I should happily be chasing my daughter around. Not dealing with hot flashes, depression, hormonal weight gain...

Emotionally I am starting to feel sorry for myself, and I hate myself for it.

Then I worry about the recovery and I know that having this procedure is putting me at risk for others in the future. I did not recover well from my last surgery and it was a long process. They had me stay longer in the hospital because of it. I hate the though of leaving my girls overnight, a week or more is weighing heavily on me. I can't sleep at night now.

Also Women with hystorectomies and partials are at higher risk for bladders, uterus and rectal (sorry TMI) falling. In some cases this requires surgery too. I mean you hear about this in women who have numerous, like 10, kids or old women, but why to I have to worry about it?

Sorry ladies I guess I had to vent, and get it out to try and face and work on these things. Thanks for listening if you made it this far.

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laken1


Hermes

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I'm so sorry, itsapinkthing. I'm sure some of the ladies here have more knowledge on the medical side of this, but I just wanted to say that you shouldn't beat yourself up for feeling sorry for yourself. You certainly have the right to have a pity party & to mourn the loss of the other baby you wanted & your health in general. I hope this all works out & you & your family will be in my thoughts & prayers. Please keep us updated.

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JoceyBaby23


Gucci

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Please know that it is okay to be sad. But at the same time, don't forget to be thankful for all that is good in your life.


You have 2 beautiful girls, a great husband, a house of your own etc etc etc.


And you have us!



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Sunshinegirl


Kate Spade

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Don't beat yourself up about it. You are so lucky to have 2 beautiful daughters. I have a wonderful stepdaughter that i'm grateful for but none of my own (still waiting for the right time although i'm 38). You have been blessed twice. 


As far as your health situation - can you get a second opinion?  I guess what i'm saying is try and save the ovary if at all possible.  Natural menopause is hard enough but instant menopause can be difficult.


If there is no choice, you are young and your body more resilient to adapting to these physical changes.


Good Luck



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curiouscookie


BCBG

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I am so sorry that you are going through this. Its ok to feel terrible.

But try to think yourself lucky to have already had your lovely girls and a supportive husband.

I also wanted to reassure you that advances in these areas have been tremendous since your mom's time so things can and will be much better for you in coping with sudden menopause symptoms.

If there is any more information you need, PM me. I am in clinical health policy and in fact one of my current project is the area of reproductive technologies. So I have access to a lot of experts in the reproduction both endocrinologist and OBGYNs. There is also a book that one of my colleagues (who had both her ovaries and uterus removed) that I can find out for you - for a non-medical person to understand what they are experiencing with sudden menopause and how to cope with it both emotionally and physically.

Good luck.

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itsapinkthing


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curiouscookie, is this the book? There are a few others I'm going to the library to check out if I can.


sunshinegirl, this doctor has been the best I've had. He has been very conservative so I know this is a last resort. I know during the surgery he will try to perserve any part of the ovary he can to keep hormone function. He has been monitoring me throughout my pregnavy and the last 4 months via ultrasound and MRI so he has waited as long I he can for this to reside naturally.

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relrel


Marc Jacobs

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JoceyBaby23 wrote:

Please know that it is okay to be sad. But at the same time, don't forget to be thankful for all that is good in your life. You have 2 beautiful girls, a great husband, a house of your own etc etc etc. And you have us!

I second everything that jocey said...you are an extremely blessed woman. I will just add in here that you are beautiful too.


This might be totally off the wall, but is your doctor a woman? Would it help at all to talk to a doctor who is a woman? Perhaps (I don't know the time frame that you have to make this decision in) you could see a therapist to talk through some of the non-medical issues? Maybe making a pro/con list and taking it to the therapist or your doctor to talk over each of the issues?


Above all else, we are all here for you to vent, rage, cry, whatever you need. Feel free to feel sorry for yourself, a little depression is normal when dealing with heavy decisions. It would actually be more worrisome if you didn't feel some form of negativity. You can play "woe is me (I?) all you want but just keep in the back of your head all that you do have in life that is good.  



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twinkle


Coach

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I am so sorry. I don't know anything about the subject, but I can only imagine the whirlwind of emotions you must be feeling. You are so lucky to already have your two little beautiful, healthy girls before this condition worsened. Just remember that.

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FashionPrincess


Hermes

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Oh honey, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you go thru this difficult time.  I agree with the other girls, be sure to focus on the blessings you already have, that's what will help get you thru this.  And remember we are here for you

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Hermes

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Oh itsapinkthing, I'm so sorry to hear you have to go through all of this.  It must be a lot to deal with.  Don't feel terrible for being upset, you have every right to.  And you can always vent to us - we are here to support you.  Hang in there, and I agree w/everyone else - focus on the beautiful family you have...you are so blessed

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atlgirl


Gucci

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Emotionally I am starting to feel sorry for myself, and I hate myself for it.

Don't hate yourself for that. It's okay - this is major. You are allowed to grieve for what may not be (having a third child, the changes in your body, the fact that this is happening so early for you, etc). It's okay to feel sorrowful. *hugs*

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of this. I don't have any kind of advice, except to get more than one medical opinion, discuss with your husband, and make the most informed, best choice for *you* that you can.

Thank you for sharing with us. This must be so difficult. But we're all here to lend our shoulders/ears and support you!

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esquiress


Marc Jacobs

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FashionPrincess wrote:

Oh honey, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you go thru this difficult time.  I agree with the other girls, be sure to focus on the blessings you already have, that's what will help get you thru this.  And remember we are here for you

Total ditto.  Anytime you need to vent, we're here to listen. 


((((((((((((((super-tight extra-long hug)))))))))))))))



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NCshopper


Hermes

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  I'm so sorry, itsapinkthing.  I can't imagine having to face that kind of decision.  I definitely agree that you should get a second opinion to see what other options you have.  And curiouscookie is right--I think things have come a long way in terms of HRT and whatnot.  I also think when you might want to start writing down some of the questions you have and take that list of questions in to your doctor before you make any final decisions.  I've always found it's good to go in with a list of questions on paper so you don't get flustered and forget everything you meant to ask.


Anyway, I'll keep you in my thoughts.  Feel free to vent any time--you're entitled. 


 



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rlutz


Chanel

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I feel so bad for what you are going through...ou can always vent here on the board...

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sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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You shouldn't beat yourself up for feeling sorry for yourself! You have a really painful situation. I know you'd rather conceive your third child yourself, obviously, but it isn't impossible that you could have a third child--how do you feel about adopting?

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ILoveChoo


Hermes

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(((huge hugs))) and ditto to what everyone else said.

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mirbear


BCBG

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It's okay to be upset. You have 2 daughters, though, and a third is not even a reality right now..so I would be grateful and think of your health and your daughter's livelihoods at this point.


 


Your husband is right to be weary of letting this go on. I would go with your MD's advice. Laparatomy sucks, though..My mom's uterus was falling, and that's when she had to have everything removed. Sometimes I feel that way...I have really bad endometriosis.
I probably can't have kids. I think that way anyway, because if I am told someday I can't I won't be so upset.


 


 



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