STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Lilykind · Hermes

modifying outfits for going to bad neighborhoods.

exsupahero · Kate Spade

Don't wear gang colors and don't be flashy. I think if you just keep to yourself, you'll be okay. Stay safe!

montmarte · Kenneth Cole

I went to grad school in a not-so-great part of Baltimore, and struggled with this issue for a long time! Whatever you wear, walk confidently with your head up. You're going to get comments no matter what you wear, so just dress as yourself minus the designer/flashy bling.

Maddie · Coach

Don't wear a red bandana. I don't know. I think it has less to do with what you wear than it does with how you carry yourself, as montmarte said. I personally don't really care about people heckling me, so I'd wear shorts or whatever, but I know that bothers some people.

shopgirl82 · Chanel

i've heard a lot of reports on ipods being a target for theft. the one that i remember most was about ipods being the target of theft on NY subways and that the white headphones are a give away. if you want to use your ipod, i would maybe switch out the head phones. also, i would be careful about carrying your speedy or any other visably designer bags and just carry yourself with a level of awareness and confidence.

Hermes

no major bling bags, shoes, jewelry, sunglasses (someone was shot last week in a bad part of Detroit because he wouldn't give up his expensive sunglasses).

I agree with the others about how you carry yourself. Whenever I find myself in a vulnerable position (pumping gas in my car, walking in a questionable area) in my head I have a dialogue going like *don't eeeven fucking mess with me or I'll kick your ass* like I know tai kwon do (sp?) or something. I know, it may sound comical, but it "emits" don't mess with me. If you feel scared it shows.

If you are doing something that occupies you (like pumping gas, although I don't believe you have a car) and someone approaches you and asks you the time or who knows what, sometimes that can be a ploy to get your guard down and engage in conversation, and the next thing you know the conversation leads to "give me your purse." Don't worry about being friendly or nice. Be cold and thinking you can kick their ass - it's all about emitting *I'm not your friend, and don't mess with me."

advice from a seasoned Detoiter

Kelly · Hermes

detroit wrote:

If you are doing something that occupies you (like pumping gas, although I don't believe you have a car) and someone approaches you and asks you the time or who knows what, sometimes that can be a ploy to get your guard down and engage in conversation, and the next thing you know the conversation leads to "give me your purse." Don't worry about being friendly or nice. Be cold and thinking you can kick their ass - it's all about emitting *I'm not your friend, and don't mess with me."
advice from a seasoned Detoiter

I heard that if someone approaches you, you should actually start a conversation with them, because a) they see you as a teensy bit more of a person, but more importantly b) you've looked at them and could now identify them. But maybe that's for more serious things, like if you think you'll be raped?

This will sound stupid, but if this assignment is only for a while you could try to dress androgynously (sp??). My neighborhood is pretty bad, and whenever I'm walking somewhere, to a friends' house to meet up to go somewhere together or even just to my car, when I'm dressed up I get way more attention. Guys just like to hassle you when it looks like you're trying to be pretty. And sometimes, it's gotten awfully scary because I can't get them away and of course no one will come and help me. If I'm going out to my car at night, or just to a friends' house, I always wear jeans and a hoodie because it's the least feminine thing. People won't mess with a woman as much if you're wearing something that doesn't call attention to yourself.

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

lilykind exactly where in la are you going to be? are you going to be by yourself? how much are you going to have to walk? can you carpool w/ anyone from work?

ETA: just got your pm and responded.

-- Edited by esquiress at 12:51, 2006-06-09

poohka · Nine West

Hey Lily....don't be scared. Just be aware...If you look scared people will bother you. Walk with confidence and just be aware of who/whats around. If someone says hi...just say hi back but keep it moving(keep walking). I never carry a pocketbook. I carry only carry $10, ID and bank card. I wouldn't suggest wearing an IPod for 2 reasons; 1. you are a target for theft and 2. if you are bopping to music you aren't paying attention to your environment. I never wear a lot of jewelry. Either go for simple pieces or ones that you don't care much about. People in these "not so good areas" are just like everyone else, hard working individuals. Its a few that make it bad for everyone.

I think no matter where you are you should follow some of these rules. Being a traget for situations is real no matter where you are. 9x out of 10 no one will bother you if you stay to yourself. People who do rip people off are out where you least expect them to be rippin off the people who think they are in safe neighborhoods.

Good luck, be safe, and use this time as a learning experience.

HTH

blink · Coach

shopgirl82 wrote:

i've heard a lot of reports on ipods being a target for theft. the one that i remember most was about ipods being the target of theft on NY subways and that the white headphones are a give away. if you want to use your ipod, i would maybe switch out the head phones. also, i would be careful about carrying your speedy or any other visably designer bags and just carry yourself with a level of awareness and confidence.

I second this. And stay alert at all times.

Elle · Hermes

ttara123 wrote:

This will sound stupid, but if this assignment is only for a while you could try to dress androgynously (sp??). My neighborhood is pretty bad, and whenever I'm walking somewhere, to a friends' house to meet up to go somewhere together or even just to my car, when I'm dressed up I get way more attention. Guys just like to hassle you when it looks like you're trying to be pretty. And sometimes, it's gotten awfully scary because I can't get them away and of course no one will come and help me. If I'm going out to my car at night, or just to a friends' house, I always wear jeans and a hoodie because it's the least feminine thing. People won't mess with a woman as much if you're wearing something that doesn't call attention to yourself.

I agree with this. I'm not a flashy dresser to begin with, but have still gotten unwanted attention from unsavory characters in a rougher part of town when I was wearing even just a couple layered tanks, a shrug, and fitted jeans. Now when I have to go to that area (a thrift I like is over there) I wear my hair in a ponytail, my glasses, looser torn up jeans, and a loose t-shirt I normally reserve for cleaning. Blending with the surroundings just adds another layer - you get less attention in the first place, and then you give off the 'don't screw with me' vibe on top of that!

Hermes

ttara123 wrote:

I heard that if someone approaches you, you should actually start a conversation with them, because a) they see you as a teensy bit more of a person, but more importantly b) you've looked at them and could now identify them. But maybe that's for more serious things, like if you think you'll be raped?

that's correct - this tactic is for more serious situations where someone is holding you captive and you need to get out alive. this also applies in the "don't let them take you to a second location" tactics.

if you are out and about, fear is detectable. "victims" tend to get victimized - i.e. those who exhibit fear are easy targets because they won't put up a fight. you want to give off the vibe that you're not a victim and will not be an easy target.

Hermes

the stuff I'm suggesting is pretty standard - you can find it in self defense tips on the net:

http://www.safetyforwomen.com/preparing.htm