STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

blubirde · Chanel

Hindu/Catholic wedding ceremony

zeitgeist4 · Gucci

I have a Hindu friend that I could ask if you want, but I wanted to add that you could probably get out of it without being rude. Two separate ceremonies is a lot to ask of a guest. You could always say you're flying into NY the night before the Catholic ceremony so you can't attend the Hindu one.

Kelly · Hermes

I don't mean to sound like a downer, but isn't the reason you're taking this trip in the first place so that you can be there for your friends' wedding? I think it might be rude to skip a special part of it so that you can sleep in or go sightseeing. Plus, you'll have half of each of those days to do whatever you want

Maddie · Coach

I've never been to a Hindu ceremony, but I think you should go. In my opinion, anything like that that lasts three hours is going to be boring, but it'll be an experience. Who knows when you'll get another opportunity to see a Hindu ceremony? Also, I don't think it's necessarily rude to not go (I mean two ceremonies is a lot), but it would be nice if you did.

I think someone on this board's sister did this (Ritz?). Maybe they'll have more insight.

-- Edited by Maddie at 13:52, 2006-06-05

blubirde · Chanel

ttara123 wrote:

I don't mean to sound like a downer, but isn't the reason you're taking this trip in the first place so that you can be there for your friends' wedding? I think it might be rude to skip a special part of it so that you can sleep in or go sightseeing. Plus, you'll have half of each of those days to do whatever you want

You're not a downer at all. On one hand I agree. On the other hand, I am definitely going to one of the ceremonies, I'm just not sure if I want/have to go to both. And on the other hand, she's definitely a friend and I'll enjoy seeing her get married but she's not a BFF or anything like that. I usually see her about once a year and we keep up on myspace and via email.

That's a lot of hands!

Maddie · Coach

Ok, I found Ritz's post about her sister's wedding and I think you have to go, it looks awesome.

-- Edited by Maddie at 13:56, 2006-06-05

HeatherLynn · Gucci

I don't think it would be rude to go to only one ceremony. I bet she expects most people to go to only one of them. I personally would go to the Catholic one and then the reception.

asf · Kate Spade

ooh maddie you beat me to it - i was just looking for that post!

i think you should go to both ceremonies, too. however, if i were in your shoes, i might go to the hindu ceremony (something new and exciting) and the reception on saturday. that way you're skipping the church part, but you're there for the party, and you can still have some time (friday evening - saturday afternoon) to do some touristy stuff.

i definitely wouldn't skip the hindu ceremony - it's bound to be beautiful and i think it would be interesting to experience a wedding ceremony from another culture.

blubirde · Chanel

Maddie wrote:

Ok, I found Ritz's post about her sister's wedding and I think you have to go, it looks awesome.-- Edited by Maddie at 13:56, 2006-06-05

Wow. That really does look awesome. This makes my choice even more difficult. Potentially weird question: could I wear a sari to the Hindu wedding? Would that be inappropriate? In those pics, the women looked so beautiful that it made me want to wear one.

Maybe I'll do some more research on what exactly a Hindu wedding entails.

blubirde · Chanel

asf wrote:

ooh maddie you beat me to it - i was just looking for that post! i think you should go to both ceremonies, too. however, if i were in your shoes, i might go to the hindu ceremony (something new and exciting) and the reception on saturday. that way you're skipping the church part, but you're there for the party, and you can still have some time (friday evening - saturday afternoon) to do some touristy stuff. i definitely wouldn't skip the hindu ceremony - it's bound to be beautiful and i think it would be interesting to experience a wedding ceremony from another culture.

Do you think it would be okay to just attend the reception of the Catholic wedding? Would that not be rude? Wedding etiquette is so difficult..

asf · Kate Spade

i'm not sure if it's rude or not, but i definitely know people who have skipped the actual ceremonies and just attended receptions. maybe you could mark that you'll attend both (the cath. ceremony and reception) and just skip the ceremony? i know that's dishonest but it may seem more proper. and depending on how many people are attending, chances are the bride won't know if you were actually at the church or not.

shopgirl82 · Chanel

i think that you should go to both. imo, touring nyc takes a lot of time and energy, especially if you don't have a tour guide (and in the summer). so if you skipped either ceremony, i still feel like you wouldn't have a lot of time and you would only get to see a SMALL SMALL SMALL fraction of what you want. plus, if you skipped the evening reception, you would be tired from waking up early, to enjoy touring the city, and if you skipped the morning ceremony you would be tired from touring the city to enjoy the reception.

maybe i am over analyzing, but i feel like i might get offended if a lot of people skipped out on the hindu part/or the reception. based on the pictures that were posted before, i think the hindu ceremony looks beautiful and i think it would be a great experience.

i think you have to do what you feel is right in the end.

Ritz · Dooney & Bourke

thanks maddie for finding that.. b/c i honestly didn't even remember i posted it!

here's my take: every American person i know who has ever been to an indian wedding has said that they are amazing.. and i agree. however, they are long, and unless they have an english speaking priest or have created a comprehensive program (both of which are common) you won't know what's going on.

that said, there are still many different parts of the wedding that are really cool to see and different.. the bharaat- where the brides family meets the grooms, often he rides in on a horse or in a really cool car (my bro in law rode in in a vintage jaguar), and there is lots of music and dancing.. the welcoming.. and then the ceremony.. and there is usually lots of singing and stuff throughout. the actual ceremony will be at least 1 hour .. you said 3 i don't know if that is just the ceremony or incorporating all of the aspects of it. (just to clarify, every wedding is different but these are teh most common and i would imagine they would do them.. but i don't want to mislead you!)

i think you should definitely go to the indian ceremony- it is an experience you may not get again. honestly, they are amazing- the clothes, the decorations, the symbolism in the ceremony, everything- it is very different than the traditional white dress wedding everyone has seen. i'm not saying it's better though.. just different.

I feel like ideally you should go to both ceremonies... obviously both are important to the bride and groom and i think it is more respectful to be there to celebrate/witness both ceremonies with them. however, if you absolutely cannot go to both, i would go to the hindu ceremony b/c you may never get to see one again, and then if you want, go to the catholic reception.. or just not go at all and take that day for yourselves. if you do go to the cath. reception but not the wedding i would maybe say that you have an obligation- i.e., seeing a family member in the city, and that is why you are only coming to the reception.. but that's just me.

Ritz · Dooney & Bourke

blubirde wrote:

Potentially weird question: could I wear a sari to the Hindu wedding? Would that be inappropriate? In those pics, the women looked so beautiful that it made me want to wear one. Maybe I'll do some more research on what exactly a Hindu wedding entails.

i think you could wear one, definitely.. but it's not as easy as it looks.. you would have to get the actual sari (loooong piece of ornate fabric), a blouse, and a petticoat.. and then put the sari on! which is pretty difficult.. my mom/aunts always have to dress me in it!

i know some of my sisters friends that were not in the wedding wanted to wear indian outfits as well, so they borrowed some of hers (b/c they are expensive to buy in the States) but they didn't wear saris, they wore lenghas..which are comparable but you can dress yourself!

i'd just ask your friend if she would mind lending you something, or if she knew anyone who could help you get dressed if you wanted to wear a sari.. i'm sure she'd be excited that you are getting into it!

monica · Kenneth Cole

just to echo what everyone else has said - definitely try to go. we're going to be doing an hindu/christian ceremony for when we get married and it's definitely a fun experience (especially the barat when they play the dhol (sp?) and there's just a ton of dancing and singing going on).

we also have an english-speaking priest that will be performing the wedding and it makes it SO much easier to sit through b/c he'll explain all the symbolism. my personal fav. part is the walking around the fire (i can't wait! sorry, just got a bit giddy). in any case - wearing a sari is not that easy. it's six yards of fabric and if you step on it, it's unraveling :)

if you want to borrow a lenga - let me know - i work in the city :)

Aurora · Marc Jacobs

If it were me I'd do the hindu cermony and skip the catholic one. I think the hindu one would be really exciting and interesting to watch.

Lilykind · Hermes

I'd do both ceremonies for the reason shopgirl82 mentioned. It's REALLY hard to squeeze in NYC in two days and you'll be a lot more well rested if you do both weddings instead of trying to cram everything in NYC into your free days.

blubirde · Chanel

I think I've decided I want to go to both. I just have to get the boy on board. The tentative plan now is to get there Thursday morning and have Thursday afternoon/evening to do stuff and leave Monday morning. So we'll also have Sunday during the day to do some shopping and maybe catch a baseball game (to make up for the boy having to go to 2 weddings!).

I'm really excited about it but on second thought, I don't think I'll be wearing a sari or other traditional clothing. I had no clue what went into them! But I do think I'll wear something a little more colorful than I might have otherwise.

I talked with the bride's sister and she said we can leave the Hindu reception part anytime we want after lunch (or before but why do that?). So that's good. We'll do that in the morning and then we can have the afternoon to go do some sightseeing things, although I hate touristy things but the boy is insistent. He hasn't been to NYC in years so he wants to see the Empire State building, etc. I want to see 5th avenue and the 2nd floor of Bergdorf, so I'm sure we'll compromise.

I am a little confused about the invitation though. I'll post the wording of it when I get home to see if someone can help me out with it.