STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

mallory · Nine West

RE:please help me

Hermes

ok, this is my take on the situation...

if you are both in high school, you may have to ask him along to a group activity or something (he sounds shy.)

if you two are adults, let him be the aggressor. besides, you will want someone with at least an iota of self-confidence as an adult - someone who is able to approach a girl if he is really into her...

as an adult, if a girl has to chase after a guy, it usually means he's not that interested because he's not pursuing her.

doodles · BCBG

you guys just need to get together already mals, call him.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Is there any way you can subtly allow him to invite himself to a group activity? Or get him to do a favor for you? My most successful set up ever happened when I lied and told a work friend that we needed his truck to help another friend of mine move (my ex had a truck that would have been just fine). It's been three years and they're still together... Do you have a friend who could pull off something similar?

Oh, something else: If the two of you are both so shy, an actual date where you have to sit and stare at eachother might be too much pressure. Another friend of mine swears that she caught her husband by going out with him and dancing, but not talking, until he felt comfortable with her. If I remember right, it took three weekends in a row...

gingembre1 · Kate Spade

So you've both admitted you like each other? To me that would automatically equal "dating" at least in high school. That being said, I'm on the traditional side as far as these things go, and he needs to work up the guts to ask you out. He needs to show he's willing to do a little work to get you.

jacL · Coach

I agree with Dizzy in that you should ask him to hang out in a group. I helped my best friend get the guy she had been drooling over since junior high (they have now been going strong for eight years!) by just asking to come along with us whatever we did--go out to eat, go iceskating, playing mini-golf, or going to fairs or parties, etc. A lot of times, actually we made up things to do just so we could ask him to come. It took a few months but soon afterwards they started officially dating--he had liked her too, but was really shy.

Going out with a group takes the pressure off both of you and can be a fun way to get to know someone. Just make sure that you usually end up sitting next to him and stuff like that.