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Metric


Gucci

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Was I wrong?
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I had a little fight with my friend this weekend and I need some outside perspective.


Last week (Friday the 5th) I asked her if she wanted to do something with her kids this weekend (13th or 14th). She said yes and I made some suggestions like going to the zoo or going on a picnic. She wouldn't confirm an actual date or activity, and I asked her three times (once in person, one email and one myspace comment) about what she wanted to do. She did not set a date or time during any of these conversations. She actually said that her mom might be taking the kids out and she would call me Friday. She did not call me.


So Saturday rolls around and I still haven't heard from her. So I make plans to go out shopping with my mom. Just as I'm leaving at noon Saturday she calls and says they want to go to the zoo. I had to tell her sorry, I had alternate plans and went with my mom. Now she is mad at me for bailing on her and the kids.


I don't think I bailed, I gave her plenty of opportunity to make plans and she didn't make them. I don't want her to be pissed at me but I don't really think I should apologize. Was I wrong? Should I have waited for her or cancelled on my mom? I'm not really sure what to say to her. Thoughts?



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Elle


Hermes

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Nope, she was wrong.  And someone with kids especially should know that last-minute plans aren't nice!  What did she expect you to do?  Wait around on your day off hoping that she'd call you?  The world doesn't revolve around her!


I would tell her that you thought she didn't want to go since she hadn't firmed up the plans in advance, and since you didn't hear from her after she said she'd call you made other plans.  Having kids makes life busy of course, so she may have just forgotten or didn't get around to calling.  But that makes it her doing, not yours!  It's not like you had official plans anyway ...



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Maddie


Coach

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You're totally in the right.

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Mandy


Kate Spade

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Maddie wrote:

You're totally in the right.
ditto.

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FashionPrincess


Hermes

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What, did she expect you to sit around all weekend waiting on her call?!?  I don't think you were in the wrong at all.  Maybe can you explain to her that you didn't have a definite time set and you couldn't just not make any other plans based on that.

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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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I agree, you weren't wrong at all. You could tell her "I'm sorry, but when I didn't hear from you I thought our plans were off, and I made other plans. How about next weekend?" or some other time. She should be more understanding about this -- calling you at noon on Saturday isn't very thoughtful.

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ILoveChoo


Hermes

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not at all. She can't expect you to sit by the phone all weekend waiting for a call!

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laken1


Hermes

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Yeah, what they said!

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lynnie


Chanel

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laken1 wrote:

Yeah, what they said!

word.


the fact that she's even making you second guess this in your head makes me think she might be manipulating you a bit.  does she do this often, or was this just a one time thing?



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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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Yeah, you were totally in the right, and what is this thing this girl did? It's been happening to me since I moved north and it freaks me out. I always assume they just don't want to hang out, and stop calling them or anything. Then it never fails. A couple months later whoever it was will be all "I thought we were friends but you never ask me to do anything anymore..." Why? Is this some sort of mind game or do the people who act like this really seriously think the people they've blown off owe them continued, repeated requests to hang out? Or are they just trying to cover for the fact that they blew me off? (In which case please don't bother, I have friends...) The whole thing totally weirds me out.

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NCshopper


Hermes

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Nope, I don't think you were in the wrong at all.  I like Scarlett's suggestion about what to say to her.  That's ridiculous she expected you to wait around for her to call you.

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