STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

halleybird · Hermes

stupid wedding question

Elle · Hermes

I'd assume that it's in the reception hall at the church, if there obviously *is* a reception but it's not at a different location. I was under the impression though that church-hall receptions where more cake and punch type deals, but if they're asking for meal selections .... ?

I think the proper term for true formal attire is 'Black Tie' technically, so I'd take formal attire as their way to tell people not to wear jeans !

Is there someone else you know better that is also invited? Maybe you could ask them what their impression was?

Kari · Dooney & Bourke

If they are asking a meal choice...I would assume there is definitely a reception of some sort. Either at the church or nearby. I've been to weddings were the minister announces the reception after the ceremony and people just kind of caravan and follow each other.

As for the attire - I say cocktail dress and suit is fine. If they wanted a tux and long gowns - they should have said "black tie"

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

I agree -- if they'd indicated "black tie" then that would mean you had to wear a gown, but this sounds like a cocktail dress is fine. It does seem weird to me that they didn't indicate where the reception is, but since they ask for a meal choice, you are invited. Is there anyone else going to the wedding who you know better than the couple who you can ask about it?

poptart · Coach

I agree with everyone else, but I'm also wondering if maybe your invitation got accidentally mailed out without the "Reception" card? Was it one of those invitations where every single thing was on a different card - one for the invitation, one for the registry, one for the meal choice, one for the hotel arrangements, etc.?

Hermes

actually, formal means white tails, semi-formal means black tie... do you know anyone who knows these people? someone who is close to the bride that may be able to clarify? I really hope formal doesn't mean "no jeans" but it depends on the demographics of the invitees I guess...

do you know if they have a presence in upper-crusty social circles? if so, I would take the translation to at least mean black tie. are they lower-middle class? it might mean "no jeans" - depends on whether you're dealing with the Rockefellers or the Joneses here. Or the Joneses trying to be the Rockefellers, or the Joneses trying to keep hilbilly relatives in line...

halleybird · Hermes

thanks for the help, guys! I don't know the couple at all, nor do I know anyone else who is going. My husband works with the groom, so that's why we're invited. I asked my husband to ask the groom this stuff, but apparently he's one of those guys who is just showing up to his wedding and doesn't know much else about it.

I can't imagine the reception would be on-site at this church, because the invitation is pretty high-quality. Churches here (with the exception of a few, but this isn't one of them) aren't particularly fancy at all, so I can't imagine they'd even have cocktail dresses at the church hall.

On the other hand, I can't imagine it being too formal. It's hard to explain, but people here very rarely get super dressed up, even in the ritzy areas. On top of that, the wedding is in late June, which means 110+ degree weather -- I can't imagine making your guests wear tuxes!

Chic · Marc Jacobs

My wedding and reception are in the same location and we almost forgot to add "reception to follow" on our invite. We did add it, but in the moment we I was in the mindset that everyone knew our wedding was all in on place, but when you step back into reality then you realize that no one is a mind reader. We also noted semi-formal attire on our invite so some of our family woulnd't wear khaki's and polo shirts. But that is only because our wedding is destination and people think it is at the beach, even though it isn't.

You might want to search the knot and wedding channel and see if the couple has a wedding website and there might be more information there.

-- Edited by Chic at 23:04, 2006-04-17