STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

lynnie · Chanel

weird situation, anything similar happen to someone?

Drew · Gucci

I could be being naive, but I think he is just being fatherly to you; everything you described came off in a very patronly manner, not skeevy, or anything. I think you may have yourself a mentor/father-figure... maybe?

alb · Marc Jacobs

That is bizarre, but I would give the guy the benefit of the doubt and assume that he just cares and wanted to do something nice for you. Maybe this is a naive way of looking at it, but you didn't write anything in your post that raised any red flags in my mind. The only issue I can think of is if he was some type of client or vender and trying to influence you to give him more business, etc. (I don't know much about how this industry works or what you do exaclty though). That doesn't appear to be the case, especially since he knows that you are just starting out in your position, etc. It seems as if it truly was intended as a gift, albeit a little awkward in its delivery (but how else would he have given it to you--if he would have mailed it that would seem stalkerish), so I think you are fine in accepting it. Unless you feel really uncomfortable (in which case I'd return it, like if you thought he was hitting on you), I would send him a very nice thank you note and then not worry about it. Just my 2 cents.

ETA--Drew-we posted at the same time and I think it's kinda funny that we both prefaced our comments by saying that we might be naive (and said basically the same thing).

-- Edited by alb at 10:08, 2006-03-04

NCshopper · Hermes

Yeah, I tend to agree that he's just being nice. It sounds like he's pretty successful now and he knows how hard it is to start out. I wouldn't be too worried about it unless he started acting as though you owe him favors or anything like that. But it sounds like he's just trying to be helpful.

Hermes

Drew wrote:

I could be being naive, but I think he is just being fatherly to you; everything you described came off in a very patronly manner, not skeevy, or anything. I think you may have yourself a mentor/father-figure... maybe?

I ditto this, and it sounds like it was a sweet gesture fueled by a cultural difference we are not familiar with. I have a good friend who is Indian - I'll ask him about it on Monday.

honey · Gucci

i wouldn't think too much of it, and keep the money. i think it's a cultural thing, and it happens a lot at my job. in many other parts of the world monetary gifts are standard (not that you need the social studies lesson but i thought i'd add it in).

it actually happens frequently at my job, clients bring in gifts (monetary and otherwise) to thank us for our work. honestly i think he just realizes how hard it is to be young and live in nyc (even if you haven't specifically mentioned financial issues) and is just trying to help out.

Jahni · Dooney & Bourke

I agree that he's just being "fatherly." He sounds really sweet. Now, if he starts hitting on you.....throw the money back at him and run.

tara t · Marc Jacobs

i bet he just thinks you are nice and maybe remind him of his kids. maybe he wants to help you out.

if have an older man carl, who always asks if i need anything, and bitches at me for smoking ( i'm not a smoker BTW, i was just standing outside with smokers) has offered to help me at my new job, blah blah blah. he's just nice. made me a cake for my birthday.

so i bet this guy is just your carl.

but hit the road, if he puts the moves on you.

Cortney1982 · Chanel

I could see why this would wierd you out. For me, I'd take it as him being nice, since there are truely good people out there. If the cash and gifts start to be more frequent, or if he puts any moves on you, then draw the line! Oh, and I'd NEVER go anywhere with him unless you bring a guest.

Deuce · Dooney & Bourke

He probably sees you as a daughter figure and means no harm. I wouldnt take anything the wrong way, but I would also be ready if there was a wierdo moment.

My boss at my partime job, (knows my family) and is very generous with helping me out. If I mention anything that is stressing me out he finds a way to help. Family is very important in their culture. I think he looks at me like family so he wants to make sure I am taken care of. I am sure yours is probably a similar situation.

Yeah, $100 extra!!!

Lilykind · Hermes

I don't think it's weird at all. He sounds like a good guy who just wants to help you out.

I think there are still some genuinely kind, generous people who really do want to help out. I have a somewhat similar situation with my apartment manager. She's a lot older than me and has grown kids, but she would give me all her beautiful clothes (like my chanel flats are from her) and would always give me laundry qaurters from the machine. I used to think it was weird, but I've gotten over that.

Hermes

I just spoke with my Indian friend, and he said that it was a fatherly gesture, and in his culture, it is common to give money to help someone out when they are struggling. He asked if the guy was married with kids, I told him yes, and he confirmed that it's nothing to worry about - just a kind gesture.

He also added, if he asks you to dinner, don't go - that's not a good thing, and his intentions would not be good.

lynnie · Chanel

detroit wrote:

I just spoke with my Indian friend, and he said that it was a fatherly gesture, and in his culture, it is common to give money to help someone out when they are struggling. He asked if the guy was married with kids, I told him yes, and he confirmed that it's nothing to worry about - just a kind gesture. He also added, if he asks you to dinner, don't go - that's not a good thing, and his intentions would not be good.

thanks for asking him about this. I wonder if its also a fatherly gesture just to help out younger people- because while I'm still saving and being frugal, finding free open bars, etc.- I am in no way struggling. Ah, oh well. He has asked me to lunch before, I guess i'll kindly decline.