STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

lilyann · Dooney & Bourke

Your style- what does your husband\boyfiend say?

atlgirl · Gucci

Oh lilyann, sweetie, don't second-guess yourself! I'm sure you look lovely when you get dressed. My DH is very much about things "matching" too, and I know he thinks some of my color combos are weird, but I don't let that stop me. I enjoy color too much to make sure the brown purse goes with the brown shoes. I'd rather have a teal or pink purse instead. *s*

DH would be thrilled if I just wore jeans and tees, but he knows - since our early dating times - that I love clothes and putting outfits together. And he never complains - unless I am wearing shoes not suitable for something (like major stilettos if we are going to be doing a lot of walking). So sometimes I have to sacrifice the shoes, depending on the event, but that only makes good sense anyway. No one has fun with sore feet.

And to be honest, DH likes the comments he sometimes gets from the other guys (when they're not discussing darts or sports or movies, etc, they do sometimes comment on what the ladies are wearing), so it's a little bit of a pride thing for him. My style has changed some in our five years of marriage, but probably not as dramatically as yours, so he's not freaked out by it or anything.

I think it is hard for him to see that the wife he married does not look the same

I can understand that to a point, but you'd think he'd be thrilled for you! Maybe he is a little threatened by the fact that you feel prettier and sexier? It may just take time for him to get used to that, but if this kind of thing has gone on for twelve years, then he may just always be like that.

Personally, I'd take the raised eyebrow as, "Now I *know* this outfit works, because it's throwing DH off" and don't change a thing. I know we do want to please our men with how we look, to a certain degree, but IMO life is too short to change our purses / outfits on someone else's whim. The only time I'll change something based on what DH says is if he's got a very practical reason why my outfit may not be the best choice - "remember, it'll be very cold where we're going; will you really be warm enough in that?" or the shoes / walking thing, or sometimes I'll ask him if my pants look too tight - esp. at bloaty times - and I really DO want to know what he thinks. I hate too-tight pants on women, and if I feel borderline, I'll check with him. I never want to be a hoochie mama. He laughs because he says it's my version of "does my ass look fat in these pants" but that I'm the only woman he knows who won't take offense if he says yes occasionally. LOL

When I went to grab a belt I saw online at Express the salesgirl said to me." I love that skirt! You look so victorian and feminine!" I just smiled at her, looked at my husband and said " Thank You. "

*That* is a story of sweet revenge. I love it! Trust your instincts and enjoy yourself. And maybe your DH will learn to enjoy your look too. After all, it's a good reflection on him if people think his wife looks nice! And if the worst issue your marriage ever faces is that he sometimes doesn't like what you wear, I think you're in pretty good shape. *s*

Drew · Gucci

DOn't listen to your hubby about your clothes anymore! You sounded perfect before subtracting what was probably a lot of interest in your outfit. Too bad he deflated your excitement over what sounds like a perfect outfit.

My DH actually loves everything I wear. I guess I'm just lucky. When I dress in jeans and Chuck's now-a-days he asks me if I'm feeling well, so I guess he actually prefers my dressed up look.

luckylily · Gucci

{{{{hugs to you lilyann}}}}}

I agree w/ everything altgirl said, you should definitely keep doing what your doing, and don't let his comments (or the eyebrow) to get to you. Some people taking "matching" way to far. Next time he says something doesn't match, say "good, i'm not interested in matching."

My husband likes that I care about my clothes. Almost every day he tells me how great I look. He also doesn't hesitate to tell me if something is "off" and I value those comments because I think he has a great eye. Since we met he's gotten really into clothes too and always looks great. The one thing he doesn't "get" is my shoe collection. In his mind shoes come in two colors, black and brown, and he thinks everyone needs four pairs of shoes - casual brown, dressy brown, casual black, and dressy black.

lilyann · Dooney & Bourke

Thanks for the confidence girls, I am going to try to "not care"- and ignore the brow. I know he definately is not a stylist- so, really I should take him with a grain of salt. He will tell me I look nice, but this is when I am dressed up conservatively- with very conventional color combos- his eye is just different then mine.

Metric · Gucci

My bf doesn't care about clothes (his or mine). He never really compliments me or complains, I don't think he notices what I wear most of the time. His only complaint is that I have too many shoes. But he does like it when I wear pants that kindof show off my booty.

My brother, on the hand is more fashion-concious than most of the girls here and constantly comments on what I wear. Ususally negatively. Once he came over and we went in our hot tub, he had to tell me what an ugly bathing suit I was wearing. Ummm...hello? Like I'm going to put on my best bathing suit to go hot tubbing in my backyard with my brother? Gimme a fricken break. But he does have great taste and is good at picking things out for me, so I'll give him credit there.

janey831 · Kate Spade

My bf is like Metric's he doesnt give a rat's ass about clothes. However, he will comment if he think I look nice. Oh, and whenever I wear any interesting shoes, (ie different color, patterned, etc) he always says, "that's a fancy pair of shoes you have on" hahaha. gotta love him!

kisa · Dooney & Bourke

My boyfriend HATES clothes. Sometimes he lectures me on how worthless fashion is and blah blah blah. I would NEVER reveal to him how much I have spent on some items! he doesn't really compliment me, or complain. One time he said he liked something pink that I was wearing, and he liked when I wore pink. Lol! Because he is such a dweeb I like pretending to dress him up when he is playing video games. He's not looking and I am holding heels up to his feet!!

-- Edited by kisa at 20:07, 2006-03-02

Sandy · Kate Spade

My boyfriend isn't into clothes at all... the clothes he wears to work on his car are the same clothes he wears out. He only buys new clothes when he absolutely has to (ie. his old ones are falling apart). If we go out to eat or somewhere else where a greese-stained tee is not appropriate, he goes straight for the same striped button up shirt and khakis as always. This is why I took it upon myself to buy his clothes for him. If it weren't for me, he'd go naked . He doesn't compliment my outfits on a daily basis, but if I wear something new, he'll say "when did you get that?" He compliments my going out outfits (partly because we hardly ever go anywhere that requires dressing up). The only time he has something negative to say is when I consider/buy/wear something white. I think it's because when we went on our senior class trip on a cruise, I brought a white swimsuit... I guess the lining wasn't sufficient enough to withstand the water in the Bahamas. This was three years ago, and I still haven't lived it down. I got "the eyebrow" when I showed him a picture of the BCBG dress I won off eBay today.

I was watching Live With Regis and Kelly when SJP was on a few months ago to promote The Family Stone, and Kelly said that she was dressed for SJP. She said that she doesn't dress for guys, she dresses for girls. I guess I do too, because I know that an average guy wouldn't "get" some of the things I wear.

luckylily · Gucci

Sandy wrote:

I was watching Live With Regis and Kelly when SJP was on a few months ago to promote The Family Stone, and Kelly said that she was dressed for SJP. She said that she doesn't dress for guys, she dresses for girls. I guess I do too, because I know that an average guy wouldn't "get" some of the things I wear.

I totally dress for girls! I don't care what the guys think, but I want other stylish girls to compliment me.

KE · Kenneth Cole

I'm lucky-my husband is always complementary of my outfits. It was funny because a couple of years ago my daughter was saying she thought my shoes were weird (she thinks they are cool now) He told her "just wait till you get older-you have no idea now how stylish your mom is"

kahluamilk · Dooney & Bourke

KE- yr hubby is a keeper! "just wait till you get older-you have no idea now how stylish your mom is"-- that is too cute!

BF said something really weird to me a couple of days ago and I just glared at him, said WTF and we ended up fighting abt this.. I was getting ready to go to work and had on a white wifebeater then put on a cute fitted blazer, buttoned up w/ jeans and was ready to go. He gives me "the eyebrow" and I was like "is anything wrong?" He starts throwing a fit abt me dressing skimpy to work... Blazer.. jeans.. WTF? He firmly believes I take off my blazer at work.. Hello.. I work in an engineering firm and no way is that appropriate! Accused him of still living in the 80's. Where has he been.. Blazer, jeans, cute cami... that's my UNIFORM.. and for most of you here too!! Why would I take off the blazer.. does he honestly think I carry no professionalism at work at all? Yes I'm casual in jeans and tanks in the weekends but for work?!

*sigh*

Not letting him question my sense of style... and yall shouldn't either. Boys know nothing abt fashion. If it's another girl dressing skimpy, they'll enjoy it... but if their significant other does it, they get possesive... Just my 2cents..

Lilykind · Hermes

Ehhhh...The only reason my BF is somewhat stylish is because I told him to stop wearing polo shirts tucked into either Levis or Dockers. He has taken jeans as a pet love, though. We could spend a very long time in both the mens and womens denim sections analyzing the finer points of fabric, cut, pocket shape, and fading/destruction.

So he always has a word about the jeans. However, he doesn't understand my expensive taste and doesn't really care for my crazy fashion sense. He only notices and compliments if I'm wearing a dancewear inspired outfit or if I'm wearing tights because he gets all nostalgic for the 80s.

I totally dress for the girls, and for myself as a creative outlet.

TheLovelyLady71 · Hermes

I agree w/most of you ladies, Joe is jeans/t-shirt kind of guy, but when he DOES (which is rare) dress up, he dresses up QUITE NICE, of course, w/the help of me! LOL He also COULD CARE LESS ABOUT CLOTHES, and will give me a compliment every blue moon (not that often). It's cool tho', b/c when he DOES notice me in my clothes, it's a great feeling. LOL

Seashells · Dooney & Bourke

I have a similar problem to you Lilyann. My boyfriend- who loves Plaid Shirts from American Eagle- mostly loves what I wear, but other times, he will openly make fun of it. I wore silver ballet flats out and he laughed! I also have the really cute Sweat Pea shrug that is knitted with all different great colors, and he told me it looked like an afghan!

I have to say, I don't really let it bother me. I live in a small town where very few people take fashion seriously, or even pay attention for that matter. I mean, when I go out, I see a whole lotta baby phat!

Have confidence in yourself, and know that here on ST - we understand you!

member · Hermes

I think I'm pretty lucky - my boyfriend compliments me everyday on what I wear. His mom is in the fashion industry and he grew up around that, so I think he really has her eye for clothing. He's very opinionated when it comes to clothes. I actually love going shopping w/him, because he helps me pick clothes out and always tells me if something looks good or wrong on me. But everyday he tells me what great style I have and how he loves the way I look

Drew · Gucci

shopchicago33 wrote:

But everyday he tells me what great style I have and how he loves the way I look

Lucky you!

JackieO527 · Dooney & Bourke

For the most part my boyfriend likes everything I wear. However, sometimes he will say "what are you wearing". I have a very simple style so I think when I go outside of the box for myself is doesn't get it. He is a jeans and tee guy!

Sunshinegirl · Kate Spade

My husband pretty much likes everything i wear. He raises an eyebrow to some things that i wear that are vintage but he's OK with it.

I know he would like to see me in more mini skirts with stilettos and a bikini that is hiked up on the side. I try to express to him in a nice way that the 80's were almost a total fashion faux pas (sp) and that he will never see me in anything of the sorts.

He is a shoe whore as well, so we get along well. I showed him zappos and he went nuts!!

blink · Coach

My husband occasionally tries to suggest things I should wear, but his ideas are not me at all, he likes things a little too sporty and less trendy. He also has finally realized that when he criticizes, I only tell him I need more money to shop, so he shuts up quick.