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fashionista L


Coach

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Too serious too fast...
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My love life the last few months has been really up and down. As a lot of you know, I broke up with my jerky ex of almost 4 years back in September, A lil while after that I started dating M, and he started being a jerk so I dumped him about a month and a half ago and now I have been dating J for one month. We are exclusive and he is awesome!! He is really sweet to me and he and I have an amazing connection. We both feel like we have known each other for much longer than a month.


J and I hang out every day. Every day after work, he calls me and asks what "we" are doin that night. Every ight for the last three weeks we have stayed the night together at one of our houses. Don't get me wrong, I really love spending the night with him and having fun together all the time, but I am kind of afraid he is  more into it than me. Anytime there is a party of his friends, or his buddies are going out he invites me. I dont think he's gone out once by himself since we have been together, he always wants to be with me. I, on the other hand, need quality bonding time with my girlfriends, so when my friends are going out, I don't want him to go, but I always give him a courtesy invite, hoping he will refuse. I need some time without the boy, you know!! I feel like our relationship is really serious already and it has been only a month. I met his ENTIRE family including cousins at Xmas, and he hasn't even met my parents yet!! I kind of am feeling a lil freaked out by this. I don't know if I am ready to be in such a serious relationship.


Last night I went out with a couple girlfriends and an old friend from highschool T. I was flirting like crazy with T and all the other boys that were at the club and this morning I woke up feeling guilty for some reason. This is probably because I almost kissed T. I did have way too many cocktails, but that is no excuse to almost cheat on my boy. I know J would never go out and flirt with a bunch of random girls, cause he really likes me. I feel like I may need to be single right now, I don't know if I could be the best girlfriend for him right now, because I haven't gotten much of a chance to be boyfriendless. I really like J he is so adorable and sweet, and I'm really confused. The thought of breaking up with him makes me feel sick to my stomach and stressed out. I could see me and him being together for a really long time. We click really well in a lot of ways, I'm just really stressed about how I am feeling, Sorry this is so long. I just needed to vent!!


 



-- Edited by fashionista L at 14:15, 2005-12-31

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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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Yeah, it does sound like he's being way too serious too fast. can you get him to cut back? There has to be some limits, and he has to know you'll set them or it could be trouble later on... Oh, and being single is awesome!

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nicoley


Coach

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I agree, he is moving too fast, I think the best thing to do is just talk to him and sort of tell him how you feel about him but that you dont want to rush into anything... or something to that effect, and hopefully he will understand... But I think its important to be honest and communicate, thats what makes a great relationship after all.

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"Deep down you may still be that same great guy I used to know. But it's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you" Rachel Dawes, Batman Begins
Misty


Dooney & Bourke

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Hmmm, it does sound like he is already really serious about you.  I suggest sitting him down and telling him that you think he is a great guy and love spending time with him, but that you also need "me" time.  Say that you want this to work, but you dont want to rush in to anything because you see that you could potentially have a great relationship,etc.  Obviously, he already knows your history, so no need to reiterate all of that.  If he really likes you, he'll give you the space you need and won't think twice about it.  And of course, he'll still want to keep seeing you even if it's not every day or whatever.


I was in a situation like this once.  I actually broke up with the guy 3x in a month.  I was going through a divorce and obviously DID NOT want to jump right back in to anything.  I wanted to enjoy my singledom.  Finally, I stopped questioning why he was brought in to my life and just went with it. And he was willing to give me whatever I needed (space, time, etc.). We've been together for 11 months and he is the best thing that ever happened to me.  Even he and my ex get along and my daughter loves him to pieces.


Just my $.02.  Good luck and keep us posted.



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"I paid off a poker debt with sexual favors, and I fell in love. It's so romantic. It's romance." - Pamela Anderson
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