STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

madison · Nine West

keeping in touch with friends

NCshopper · Hermes

Oh man, does it get hard to stay in touch with people! I found that every year, the list of people I kept up with got smaller and smaller. It's kinda sad, but at the same time, your lives are changing so quickly and you find that you have less and less in common with the people you were once friends with.

I keep in touch regularly with my BFF and I have an additional 3 friends or so that I talk to/e-mail a few times a year.

I'd recommend putting together a page on myspace and getting your friends to join too. You can post pictures, blog, and send messages to each other, so you can keep up with people easier. I've found a lot of people from my high school on myspace and have reconnected with a bunch of them, which is always really fun.

luckylily · Gucci

I don't really have any good friends from high shool. I do have one friend who I talk to about once a year or so and generally have an idea of what she has going on. I'm 31, it's been a long time since I graduated. I don't have a ton of friends from college either.

Most of my good friends are folks that I have something in common other than school. I've met them thru other hobbies. I'm a really big music fan and I go to at least 1 show a week. Almost all my close friends now are people I met and shows, we share that interest.

I've come to accept that people will come and go in your life. There are a few friends you hold closer for a longer time for one reason or another. Even if you don't keep in touch with someone doesn't mean they didn't have an important place in your life at a certain time.

jacL · Coach

This is so hard to do. I graduated college in May and now I am trying to keep in touch with high school and college friends. Really, I only keep in touch with about four girls from high school and a few people from college. At a time when everyone is going thier own different ways, you just have to decide who it is most important for you to make an effort to keep in touch with. With my high school girlfriends, it is nice, because I only regularly talk to one (my BFF) and the others, I talk to a few times a year, but it always feels like no time has passed since we last talked--we are that comfortable with each other. My college friends and I have to make more of an effort, even though it was only six months ago that we were still in school together.

It is sad, but it helps you realize which of your friends you really love.

laken1 · Hermes

I have one that I am in constant touch with, she was my BFF - but we are 33 & we went probably 5 or 6 years without seeing one another. I think life just takes you in different directions & one day you come back together & start up like you talk every single day. At least that's what we did! Then I have one other HS friend that I talk to or email maybe once a month. I had a terrible experience at my 10 year reunion & decided that I would only speak to the HS people that I really cared about, so that is what I have done ever since.

ETA: even these 2 friends which I consider to be really good friends, we would get together & I would wonder why in the world we were ever friends to begin with because we are all SOOOO different. But those differences either don't matter or diminish the older you get maybe?

-- Edited by laken1 at 14:06, 2005-12-18

Maddie · Coach

I'm only a sophomore in college, but I've already lost touch with a bunch of people. There are really only about five people I make any sort of effort to keep in touch with or hang out with when I'm home. Even with them there are only two I think I'll stay friends with. I have three friends from this summer camp I worked at that I think I'll stay friends with too. We've just never gone to school together or anything, but have always kept in touch really well as it's just a different sort of friendship.

I agree with luckylily about people coming and going. It seems sad, but it's just life. And if you're in the same town together or something you can look them up, but it's just impossible and probably not worth the effort to stay in touch with everyone you were ever friends with. Also, I remember at this point last year I was way more into my highschool friends and felt like no one would ever understand me like they did. That's totally switched and while my high school friends and I can have fun together over breaks, there are only a couple that I have as deep a relationship with as I do with my college friends.

This Truman Capote quote pretty much sums up my feelings on friendship, "Friendship is a pretty full-time occupation if you really are friendly with somebody. You can't have too many friends because then you're just not really friends."

Claudia · Gucci

I had a couple of really close friends in high school. I'm barely a freshman in college. It's been really hard to keep in touch since everyone is doing thier own thing. It kinda sucks. I have kept in touch with one of my friends, because we go to the same college. We don't see each other all the time though. I've called and called one of my other friends and I've only talked to her once. She is really busy with her stuff.

I would like to keep in touch with them more often but now everyone is so busy. I agree people enter your life and leave. That's part of life. Even though we want to remain friends with someone our whole life it's sometimes impossible. People drift away..

-- Edited by Claudia at 19:07, 2005-12-18

Elle · Hermes

I keep in touch with exactly one person from HS, my best friend, who actually went to a different highschool so I'm not even sure that counts ? And I've only been out of HS for 3 years!

I've always been more of a couple-close-friends kinda person as opposed to a lots-of-so-so-friends kinda person, so it works okay. I had one other friend that I was sort of keeping in touch with (ie, calling on birthdays), but she's such a flake she can't even remember to call me once a year so I figured it wasn't worth the effort on my part to continue it.

I find that I actually have much more in common with people who are 10-20 years older than me anyway, so I can't say I'm too broken up about losing contact with people. And most of the people I went to HS with stayed around town - since I live 1,200 miles away now, it's not like I even 'run into' people ever.

FH and I went to HS together, and I obviously still keep in contact with him !

-- Edited by Elle at 21:12, 2005-12-18

JoceyBaby23 · Gucci

I talk to two of my best guy friends from HS several times a year. But NONE of the girls. We are all such different people now, I don't know if we would even have anything in common. (BTW, I'm only 24) My college friends and I are still very close (I graduated college 3 years ago)

zeitgeist4 · Gucci

I stopped staying in touch with my HS friends when I was a senior in HS! I found out that they were'nt actually "friends," so I cut off contact with them and haven't seen or talked to any of them since.

And I am still in contact with one friend from college.

blink · Coach

I am 30 and I only regularly talk to one girl I went to high school with. I don't hang out with the girls I was friends with from 19-21 either, though I do catch up with them every few years either directly or through someone else.