STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Vanessa · Kate Spade

Hey guys, quick question

laken1 · Hermes

VANESSA! we miss you!

sorry that this is why you are visiting, but i think you should send flowers. Maybe a card for his mother to hand her when you see her? Food is just kind of awkward if you don't know them that well - maybe it's just me. But then you bring food, don't know who to give it to / where to bring it, etc. I don't think food is inappropriate - i think it's really nice, but it's just knowing what to do with it.

-- Edited by laken1 at 13:37, 2005-12-07

lsubatgirl · Gucci

Any of the above items are appropriate that you mentioned. You can have flowers sent today or tomorrow - it doesn't really matter so if the florist runs out of time if they are delivered first thing in the morning its ok.

Food is usually a good idea. We didn't eat much at the funeral home when my grandma died. I think we had subway the day of the funeral. I didn't go to the wake for some reason (i can't remember). But I did eat at home after the funeral and it was nice to have people bring stuff by so we didn't have to cook so you might want to go that route.

ejc423 · Coach

Is there a charity or church he was involved in? I think it's always meaningful to make a donation because there will probably be plenty of flowers and food. You could put it in a nice card.

I forgot to say hi, we miss you!

-- Edited by ejc423 at 14:02, 2005-12-07

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

I think any of your ideas sound fine; flowers are especially thoughtful. And wow, I would feel awkward too. This happened to a friend of mine after she had been dating much longer, so it was a little easier because she knew some of the family. Overall, she just tried to stay low key and be polite. Oh, and she didn't sit with the family at the funeral, because that seemed sort of like intruding on the siblings who weren't close to her - your boyfriend will probably ask you if he wants you to sit wth them, though. Wow. I just realized exactly how awkward this one is. You poor thing! But you've always seemed like a very tactful, empathetic person in your posts, so I think you'll be fine if you just try to forget about the awkwardness, go with your instincts and stay in the background. Good luck sweetie...

JoceyBaby23 · Gucci

Hi Vanessa! So sorry you and BF are going through this!

If it were me, I would:

1. Send flowers to the Funeral home or church.

2. Bring a card with you tonight for his mom and him.

3. Tomorrow after the funeral, drop off some food for his mom at her home or BFs.

All of your ideas are good!

Vanessa · Kate Spade

Thanks everyone! I ended up getting a card with a pretty hefty gift certificate to some local restaurants, and they used it today after the funeral. Everyone seemed appreciative. Thanks a lot for your advice and hellos :)
and I'll be back soon!