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Post Info TOPIC: what can i do for my friend?
bex


Chanel

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what can i do for my friend?
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i just found out that my friend didn't get pregnant from her latest in-vitro procedure.  this is the 4th time she has gone through it.  i ran into her husband today and he told me that it didn't take.


i called her and left her a message letting her know i was in town this week and if she wanted to hang out- to call... but i feel like i should do something more...


ideas?  what would you do?



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Elle


Hermes

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I would give her some space.  You've already let her know that you're there when and if she needs you, so just let your relationship continue on her terms for now.  I've had a couple of friends that had trouble conceiving, and from talking with them, it seems like the best thing you can possibly say is "I'm so sorry.  I'm here for you for anything, whenever.".  Almost anything else you can say will end up having inevitable, wierd, and hurtful conotations that are really hard for someone not going through it to anticipate.


You're a good friend for being so thoughtful .



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hotcocoa


Kate Spade

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i agree with lmonet. just be available for her and lend your ear when she needs you. (as you've already so kindly done) there is nothing more you can really say or do to to make this tough and heartbreaking situation any different.

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JoceyBaby23


Gucci

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maybe she hasnt called you yet because she's not ready to talk.. This seems to be the case since you had to hear the update from her DH. I think the message you left was good. She will come to you when shes ready.

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bex


Chanel

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JoceyBaby23 wrote:

maybe she hasnt called you yet because she's not ready to talk.. This seems to be the case since you had to hear the update from her DH. I think the message you left was good. She will come to you when shes ready.

Thanks guys.  I just called her after I saw her DH today.  I didn't want to call when I didn't hear from her after she would have known the results (last wednesday) b/c I figured she would call if it took this time.  And if it didn't, I figured she wouldn't call.


I just left her the message this afternoon that I was around if she wanted to talk... I think I'll leave it at that.


Thanks again.  I just felt like I needed to do more for her... My heart aches for her and her DH so much. 



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JoceyBaby23


Gucci

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bex wrote:

JoceyBaby23 wrote: maybe she hasnt called you yet because she's not ready to talk.. This seems to be the case since you had to hear the update from her DH. I think the message you left was good. She will come to you when shes ready. Thanks guys.  I just called her after I saw her DH today.  I didn't want to call when I didn't hear from her after she would have known the results (last wednesday) b/c I figured she would call if it took this time.  And if it didn't, I figured she wouldn't call. I just left her the message this afternoon that I was around if she wanted to talk... I think I'll leave it at that. Thanks again.  I just felt like I needed to do more for her... My heart aches for her and her DH so much. 
She is lucky to have you!

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-jocey-
bex


Chanel

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JoceyBaby23 wrote:

bex wrote: JoceyBaby23 wrote: maybe she hasnt called you yet because she's not ready to talk.. This seems to be the case since you had to hear the update from her DH. I think the message you left was good. She will come to you when shes ready. Thanks guys.  I just called her after I saw her DH today.  I didn't want to call when I didn't hear from her after she would have known the results (last wednesday) b/c I figured she would call if it took this time.  And if it didn't, I figured she wouldn't call. I just left her the message this afternoon that I was around if she wanted to talk... I think I'll leave it at that. Thanks again.  I just felt like I needed to do more for her... My heart aches for her and her DH so much.  She is lucky to have you!
awww thanks JB- that is really nice of you to say...  i'm just trying to be a good friend...

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Maddie


Coach

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I would cook her a dinner and bring it over. Not stay to eat it with her, but just give it to her. My mom always does this when people are sick, or going through a hard time and don't want to worry about cooking. I just think it's a nice gesture. As well as let her know you're there for her.

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blubirde


Chanel

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Bex, you're so sweet. I wish I had you for an IRL friend.


I'd just let her come to you if she needs you. But if you want to do something more, the dinner idea Maddie suggested sounds nice. Maybe you could drop it by her husband's work or something so she doesn't have to deal with getting pretty to meet people or something. (Just a thought - I hate having to even brush my hair when I'm not feeling well emotionally.)



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Marc Jacobs

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bex you're so sweet! i am sure she really appreciates your thoughts and just knowing that you're there for her!

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