we weren't even very close, but I am not taking it well at all. And I feel really bad because she had been one of the people I thought about cutting from my wedding invite list (trying to keep the numbers down) and she came to my bridal shower and I hadn't sent a thank you note before. And it reminds me that my grandma died last summer and she can't come which makes me so sad. I can't stop crying. And I feel guilty that I feel like my wedding is going to be ruined because there's no way I will be happy (it's next weekend).
I don't know if it's just the added stress of everything else going on right now that's making me so upset or if it's the fact that before last summer I never had to deal with death. My Dad died when I was a baby- I don't remember him at all- and other then that no one I knew had ever died. Does this get any easier as it goes on? I spent all night last night worrying about my parents or FH dying, and I know that they have to eventually, but I am not going to be able to deal with it.
sorry to be so depressing first thing in the morning, but I needed to get all that out.
Death is never an easy thing to deal with. And, imo, you never 'get over' the loss of a loved one, you just learn to live without them. I still miss my grandparents (my grandpa died a few days shy of my 14th birthday and my grandma died 2 days before I graduated from high school). I miss them both every day, but I've just learned to live with it.
iam sorry and lots of hugs are coming your way from experience I learned not to dwell on any regrets because this only makes things worse you did what you thought was best at the time Iam sure and remember we are here when you need to talk. Also we ladies are alot stronger than we realize and I know you are too sometime it takes a liitle time to see.
It makes me mad that you said you cant be happy on your wedding day!
Of course you can. You are going to have a beautiful day with everyone who loves you around.. Even great aunt, grandma and your father.. They will all be with you, watching over you.. saying how beautiful you look and how proud they are. You have to remember they are all in a better place.. and because you loved them, they will always be close to you.
Aw, I'm sorry. I'm sorry aobut your great aunt, but I know what you mean about your grandmother. It's weird, because when someone you dont' see every day dies, it seems to take a lot longer to get over it. When my grandmother ied, I kept "forgetting" and would say things like "Oh yeah, my grandmother lives there..."Good luck with your wedding plans. That's so stressful...
I don't know if dealing with death gets any easier. And I agree w/ Dizzy that having someone die that you don't see every day is difficult too because memories can come back at some of the oddest times. My grandfather in Alabama died two years ago and I can still barely talk about him without getting choked up. But I think it makes it easier to think of him and my grandmother watching over me and being so proud, as I know your family is of you.
As for the thank you note and all, don't let it make you feel guilty. There is no way you could have known that this was going to happen, so don't let regret eat at you. If you just can't shake the guilty feeling though, why don't you put a wedding invitation with her name on it and write a thank you note to her and put it on her grave, or put it in the mail anyway? Just the act of doing it might make you feel better.
I don't know what to say other than {{{{hugs}}}} your way. I'm just like you - haven't ever had to deal with death until my grandfather died in February. Please have a great wedding day despite this sad event. She wouldn't want you unhappy because of her.
And i think NCShopper's suggestion with the note & invitation is a good & extremely thoughtful one. It may make you feel better. More {{{{hugs}}}}}
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Who do you have to probe around here to get a Chardonnay? - Roger the Alien from American Dad
I'm sorry for you loss. I know exactly how you feel. My little brother passed away 2 years ago. It's pretty hard, but like NylaBelle said you just learn how to live with it.