I am the maid of honor for my best friend's wedding next weekend. I have to choose something to read for the ceremony and I have to make a speech at dinner. Help! I have nothing.
The reason I'm putting this in general chat is because I want everyone's point of view and thoughts, not just stuff that would be typical wedding stuff. The bride and groom are very non-traditional (bride is wearing a black dress) so nothing typical or weddingish will do. Any thoughts?
I saw something in The Time Traveler's Wife that I liked. It was a quote from Possession by Byatt. It says:
"What is it? My dear?" "Ah, how can we bear it?" "Bear what?" "This. For so short a time. How can we sleep this time away?" "We can be quiet together, and pretend - since it is only the beginning - that we have all the time in the world." "And every day we shall have less. And then none." "Would you rather, therefore, have had nothing at all?" "No. This is where I have always been coming to. Since my time began. And when I go away from here, this will be the mid-point, to which everything ran, before, and from which everything will run. But now, my love, we are here, we are now, and those other times are running elsewhere."
I like something like this because it's about love but it's more than that. It's not "how do I love thee" or something overdone and sappy like that. It's cool and original. I need help!
it's like a database of speeches, most are political, but you might find something, or maybe even just reading them will help you feel inspired for your speech.
This is so hard. The only things about love or marriage which have ever stayed with me are from "The Dead" by Joyce. Even though a major part of the story addresses how you can be married to someone for years and still not know everthing about them it also has some amazingly sweet parts. You might think it's too sappy though.
I edited out some random phrases which wouldn't make sense out of the context of the story.
"She was walking on before him...She had no longer any grace of attitude, but Gabriel's eyes were still bright with happiness. The blood went bounding along his veins and the thoughts went rioting through his brain, proud, joyful, tender, valorous.
She was walking on before him so lightly and so erect that he longed to run after her noiselessly, catch her by the shoulders and say something foolish and affectionate into her ear. She seemed to him so frail that he longed to defend her against something and then to be alone with her. Moments of their secret life together burst like stars upon his memory. A heliotrope envelope was lying beside his breakfast- cup and he was caressing it with his hand. Birds were twittering in the ivy and the sunny web of the curtain was shimmering along the floor: he could not eat for happiness.
A wave of yet more tender joy escaped from his heart and went coursing in warm flood along his arteries. Like the tender fire of stars moments of their life together, that no one knew of or would ever know of, broke upon and illumined his memory. He longed to recall to her those moments, to make her forget the years of their dull existence together and remember only their moments of ecstasy. For the years, he felt, had not quenched his soul or hers. Their children, his writing, her household cares had not quenched all their souls' tender fire. In one letter that he had written to her then he had said: `Why is it that words like these seem to me so dull and cold? Is it because there is no word tender enough to be your name?' "
I'll look through my books to see if anything else jumps out at me.
Also I found a huge thread about readings on the IndieBride forum. I'm sure lots of them are kind of traditional wedding-y and sappy but since there are lots of non-traditional brides there maybe there will be some good reading ideas.
this is my favorite quote ever about love -- from Harriet Beecher Stowe's The Minister's Wooing:
If ever you have had a romantic, uncalculating friendship,--a boundless worship and belief in some hero of your soul,--if ever you have so loved, that all cold prudence, all selfish worldly considerations have gone down like drift-wood before a river flooded with new rain from heaven, so that you even forgot yourself, and were ready to cast your whole being into the chasm of existence, as an offering before the feet of another, and all for nothing,--if you awoke bitterly betrayed and deceived, still give thanks to God that you have had one glimpse of heaven.
The door now shut will open again. Rejoice that the noblest capability of your eternal inheritance has been made known to you; treasure it, as the highest honor of your being, that ever you could so feel,--that so divine a guest ever possessed your soul.
-- Edited by halleybird at 22:20, 2005-10-04
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"We live in an age where unnecessary things are our only necessities." --Oscar Wilde
I have several short things that I love, they may not be long enough, but if you are giving a speech you may be able to work them in? I'm such a quote nerd that I had to share something!
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more. --Erica Jong
"I do not think that what is called Love at first sight is so great an absurdity as it is sometimes imagined to be. We generally make up our minds beforehand to the sort of person we should like, grave or gay, black, brown, or fair; with golden tresses or raven locks; -- and when we meet with a complete example of the qualities we admire, the bargain is soon struck." - William Hazlitt 1778-1830, British Essayist
"The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make -- not just on your wedding day, but over and over again -- and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife." - Barbara De Angelis American Expert on Relationship & Love, Author
And of course, there is always Carrie's poem that she wrote for that wedding in SITC
His hello was the end of her endings Her laugh was their first step down the aisle His hand would be hers to hold forever His forever was as simple as her smile He said she was what was missing She said instantly she knew She was a question to be answered And his answer was "I do"
These probably don't count, but my husband would send me a love / marriage quote a day after we got engaged & these are my 2 favorites - gross & sappy I know, but stilll.....
"I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance; a church filled with flowers and friends. I asked him what kind of wedding he wished for; he said one that would make me his wife." - Author Unknown
"I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all." - Lord Byron 1788-1824, British Poet (i actually had the end of this engraved in my husband's wedding ring)
Gosh I'm so mushy, sorry!!!!
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Who do you have to probe around here to get a Chardonnay? - Roger the Alien from American Dad
esquiress - I'm going to explore today at work (gasp!) and see what I come up with. I'll post any ideas.
cc - that indiebride site is fabulous. I spent like 2 hours on it last night (well, during commercials of nip/tuck) and it was awesome. I'll post some stuff from that site as well.
halleybird - I really like that one. I called the bride as soon as I read it to read it to her to see what she thought. She wasn't at home but still - it's great.
lindsayp - I've never heard of that before but I'll check it out. Thanks! Edit: I found some stuff on the indiebride site cc suggested. So beautiful.
laken1 - I really like: "I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all." - Lord Byron 1788-1824, British Poet. It's really awesome. Pretty cool to have it engraved on your hubbie's ring, too!
Understand, I'll slip quietly Away from the noisy crowd When I see the pale Stars rising, blooming over the oaks. I'll pursue solitary pathways Through the pale twilit meadows, With only this one dream: You come too.
From "Letters" by Rainer Maria Rilke translated by Stephen Mitchell
Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.
A description of marriage Edmund O'Neill
Marriage is a promise of love. It is a commitment to life – to the best two people can find to bring in each other.
Marriage offers opportunities for sharing and growth- a physical and emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.
Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life's most important relationships. A wife and a husband are each other's best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener and critic.
Marriage deepens and enriches every fact of life. Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher, commitment is stronger. Even anger is felt more strongly, but passes more quickly.
Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life. When two people pledge to love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique in themselves which binds them closer then any spoken or written words.
Marriage is a promise. A potential, made in the hearts of two people who love, which takes a lifetime to fulfil.
The Invitation, by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are square in your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed down from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving, to hide it, fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can source your life on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the moon in God’s presence.
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know, or how you came here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in empty moments.
The Wild Rose
Sometimes hidden from me in daily custom and in trust, so that I live by you unaware as by the beating of my heart,
Suddenly you flare in my sight, a wild rose blooming at the edge of thicket, grace and light where yesterday was only shade, and once again I am blessed, choosing again what I chose before.
If you're talking poems too, this is kind of cliche, but I LOVE it...
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear not fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
If you're talking poems too, this is kind of cliche, but I LOVE it... i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear not fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) -e. e. cummunings
Yes - I read this one and isn't it sweet? I sent it to my friend in my growing list of potentials...
Here are some more I found:
Ha! This one is funny:
Litany -Billy Collins You are the bread and the knife, The crystal goblet and the wine... -Jacques Crickillon
You are the bread and the knife, the crystal goblet and the wine. You are the dew on the morning grass and the burning wheel of the sun. You are the white apron of the baker, and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.
However, you are not the wind in the orchard, the plums on the counter, or the house of cards. And you are certainly not the pine-scented air. There is just no way that you are the pine-scented air.
It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge, maybe even the pigeon on the general's head, but you are not even close to being the field of cornflowers at dusk.
And a quick look in the mirror will show that you are neither the boots in the corner nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.
It might interest you to know, speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world, that I am the sound of rain on the roof.
I also happen to be the shooting star, the evening paper blowing down an alley and the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table. I am also the moon in the trees and the blind woman's tea cup.
But don't worry, I'm not the bread and the knife. You are still the bread and the knife. You will always be the bread and the knife, not to mention the crystal goblet and--somehow--the wine. from Nine Horses
Today --Billy Collins If ever there were a spring day so perfect, so uplifted by a warm intermittent breeze
that it made you want to throw open all the windows in the house
and unlatch the door to the canary's cage, indeed, rip the little door from its jamb,
a day when the cool brick paths and the garden bursting with peonies
seemed so etched in sunlight that you felt like taking
a hammer to the glass paperweight on the living room end table,
releasing the inhabitants from their snow-covered cottage
so they could walk out, holding hands and squinting
into this larger dome of blue and white, well, today is just that kind of day.
from Nine Horses
To a Stranger -Walt Whitman ------------------------------------------------------------ ---- Passing stranger! you do not know how longingly I look upon you, You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me as of a dream,) I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you, All is recall'd as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured, You grew up with me, were a boy with me or a girl with me, I ate with you and slept with you, your body has become not yours only nor left my body mine only, You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass, you take of my beard, breast, hands, in return, I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone or wake at night alone, I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again, I am to see to it that I do not lose you.
What is a friend?
What is a friend? I will tell you. It is a person with whom you dare to be yourself. Your soul can be naked with them. They seem to ask of you to put on nothing, only to be what you are. They do not want you to be better or worse. When you are with them, you feel as a prisoner feels who has been declared innocent. You do not have to be on your guard, you can say what you think, so long as it is genuinely you. They understand those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you. With a friend, you breathe freely. You can avow your little vanities and envies and hates and vicious sparks, your meanness, and absurdities and (in opening them up) they are lost dissolves on the white ocean of their loyalty. A friend understands. You do not have to be careful. You can abuse them, neglect them, tolerate them. Best of all, you can keep still with them. It makes no matter. They like you. They are like fire that purges to the bone. They understand. You can weep with them, sing with them, laugh with them, pray with them. Through it all and underneath they see, know, and love you.
A friend? What is a friend? Just one, I repeat, with whom you dare to be yourself.
A Passage by Reverend Paul L'Herrou If your love is to grow and deepen,
You must find a way to move with each other,
Perhaps in a slow and graceful dance (bare feet firmly to the ground),
A dance that circles and tests and learns as it gradually moves closer
To that place where you can each pass through the other
And turn and embrace without breaking or losing any part of yourselves
But only to learn more of who you each are by your touching,
To find that you are each whole and indivdual and separate
Yet, in the same instant, one, joined as whole
That does not blur the two individuals as you dance.
The music is there if you will listen hard,
Through the static and noise of life, and other tunes that fill your heads.
You are here, marking time to the music.
The dance can only begin if you will take the first (and hardest)
Tentative, uncertain, stumbling steps.
Teehee - this one is just for laughs.
from the movie "Frida"
"I don't believe in marriage. Let me be clear about that.
I think at worst, it is a hostile political act. A way for small minded men to keep their women in the house and out of the way, wrapped in the guise of conservative religious nonsense.
At best, it is a happy delusion: it is two people who really love each other, who have no idea how truly miserable they are about to make each other.
But! When two people know that and they decide, with eyes wide open, to face each other and get married anyway...
I don't think its conservative or delusional. I think it's radical. And courageous. And very romantic."
This one gave me goose bumps:
Love by Roy Croft
I love you, Not only for what you are, But for what I am When I am with you.
I love you, Not only for what You have made of yourself, But for what You are making of me.
I love you For the part of me That you bring out;
I love you For putting your hand Into my heaped-up heart And passing over All the foolish, weak things That you can't help Dimly seeing there, And for drawing out Into the light All the beautiful belongings That no one else had looked Quite far enough to find.
I love you because you Are helping me to make Of the lumber of my life Not a tavern But a temple; Out of the works Of my every day Not a reproach But a song.
I love you Because you have done More than any creed Could have done To make me good And more than any fate Could have done To make me happy. You have done it Without a touch, Without a word, Without a sign. You have done it By being yourself.
Cute and funny although maybe not appropriate:
I Wrote a Good Omelet
I wrote a good omelet...and ate a hot poem... after loving you
Buttoned my car...and drove my coat home...in the rain... after loving you
I goed on red...and stopped on green...floating somewhere in between... being here and being there after loving you
I rolled my bed...turned down my hair...slightly confused but...I don't care... Laid out my teeth...and gargled my gown...then I stood ...and laid me down... to sleep... after loving you
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be the shelter for each other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be the warmth for the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before. Go now to your dwelling place to enter into the days of your life together. And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
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"You Were Born Together", by Kahlil Gibran
"You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spades in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each of you be alone, even as the strings of the lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the land of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together, for the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow."
"You Were Born Together", by Kahlil Gibran "You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spades in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each of you be alone, even as the strings of the lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the land of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together, for the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow." ***********************************
WOW - I love lots of these, but The Invitation is my favorite. Good advice / adage in general i think.
I agree. Maybe I'll do something with that one for my toast...
Isn't this one hilarious though? I'm soooo tempted!
Locating Crickets by Joel Chamra
If you want a piece of me, you get the piece...
with syphillis!
Because the hand of fate has been donw my pants before. It turned all of my questions Into ONE BIG !
And with bic flicking quickness, fate and karma tag-teamed me and the result was an assault on the psyche.
Then you came along and started to use words like forever. That's a mighty long time, So I'm here to tell that there is something else... the rest of this poem.
So meet the rest of me, the lost episodes of my life. The b-sides The bee stings The white lies The O-rings The dusty skeletons that complete my Fill in the ________ life.
1. I always had a thumb print on my skull. It happened when the soft spot of my head had not yet developed and my uncle was depressed that he had never left his mark.
2. I didn't walk until I was 3, but only because I was reeeeeeeeeally lazy.
3. My father has always been a riot and my mother...teargas. They make wonderful chaos together.
4. I once attempted to access a parallel universe by drawing a triangle on the ground, then entering it while wearing Bermuda shorts.
5. Ran away from home when I was 12 simply so I could label myself.
6. Returned home hours later so I could say that I accomplished something.
7. I wore short shorts.
8. Throught my school years, I was very driven. This mostly because I didn't have my own car.
9. I have never spent money on sex... boy have I paid for it.
10. I have been in love exactly one other time. I didn't love her the way the desert misses the rain. I loved her the way the rain embraces acid.
11. Now that I am in love with YOU it is necessary for me to create a word that means more than love so I can accurately express myself. I have come up with SPLEET.
12. Sometimes I wish that I could stare at you against the backdrop of an eclipse... so that when I go blind, yr image burns into my mind and I can carry it with me wherever I go.
13. I hate lists. So take my hand and I will spleet you as long as humanly possible.
OMG - that is so funny / cool / sweet (?)!!! If they are as "non-traditional" as you say, you should do that - i think it fits your personality as well! How cool.
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Who do you have to probe around here to get a Chardonnay? - Roger the Alien from American Dad
OMG - that is so funny / cool / sweet (?)!!! If they are as "non-traditional" as you say, you should do that - i think it fits your personality as well! How cool.
haha! I can only imagine what her parents would say! I laugh out loud everytime I read this one. If they don't use it for their ceremony, I think I'll insist it gets used in mine (if I ever have one!!!).
maddie--that e.e.cummings one you posted is in "in her shoes" as a wedding-poem (but not from bride to groom). cameron diaz reads it. so soon it will be included in every wedding in america, probably--lol. i love it, though.
i like another e.e.cummings one, too--and bonus--it's short!
if strangers meet
if strangers meet life begins- not poor not rich (only aware) kind neither nor cruel (only complete) i not not you not possible; only truthful -truthfully,once if strangers(who deep our most are selves)touch: forever
here are some I'm considering having printed in our programs...
Love is More Thicker Than Forget : e e cummings
love is more thicker than forget
more thinner than recall
more seldom than a wave is wet
more frequent than to fail
it is most mad and moonly
and less it shall unbe
than all the sea which only
is deeper than the sea
love is less always than to win
less never than alive
less bigger than the least begin
less littler than forgive
it is more sane and sunly
and more it cannot die
than all the sky which only
is higher than the sky
i love you much(most beautiful darling) by:e e cummings
i love you much(most beautiful darling)
more than anyone on the earth and i
like you better than everything in the sky
-sunlight and singing welcome your coming
although winter may be everywhere
with such a silence and such a darkness
noone can quite begin to guess
(except my life)the true time of year-
and if what calls itself a world should have
the luck to hear such singing(or glimpse such
sunlight as will leap higher than high
through gayer than gayest someone's heart at your each
nearness)everyone certainly would(my
most beautiful darling)believe in nothing but love
"Admonitions to a Special Person" by Anne Sexton
Love? Be it man. Be it woman.
It must be a wave you want to glide in on,
give your body to it, give your laugh to it,
give, when the gravelly sand takes you,
your tears to the land. To love another is something
like prayer and can't be planned, you just fall
into its arms because your belief undoes your disbelief.
A Birthday, by Christina Rossetti
My heart is like a singing bird Whose nest is in a water'd shoot; My heart is like an apple-tree Whose boughs are bent with thick-set fruit; My heart is like a rainbow shell That paddles in a halcyon sea; My heart is gladder than all these, Because my love is come to me.
Raise me a daïs of silk and down; Hang it with vair and purple dyes; Carve it in doves and pomegranates, And peacocks with a hundred eyes; Work it in gold and silver grapes, In leaves and silver fleurs-de-lys; Because the birthday of my life Is come, my love is come to me.
“To My Valentine” by Ogden Nash More than a catbird hates a cat, Or a criminal hates a clue, Or the Axis hates the United States, That's how much I love you.
I love you more than a duck can swim, And more than a grapefruit squirts, I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore, And more than a toothache hurts.
As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea, Or a juggler hates a shove, As a hostess detests unexpected guests, That's how much you I love.
I love you more than a wasp can sting, And more than the subway jerks, I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch, And more than a hangnail irks.
I swear to you by the stars above, And below, if such there be, As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes, That's how you're loved by me.
-- Edited by Starstuff at 17:41, 2005-10-05for space issues
-- Edited by Starstuff at 17:43, 2005-10-05
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"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." - G. Radner
bumblebee wrote: maddie--that e.e.cummings one you posted is in "in her shoes" as a wedding-poem (but not from bride to groom). cameron diaz reads it. so soon it will be included in every wedding in america, probably--lol. i love it, though.
Ugh that's so annoyinig. That's been my favorite poem since like middle school.
Another favorite e.e. cummings...
since feeling is first who pays any attention to the syntax of things will never wholly kiss you; wholly to be a fool while Spring is in the world my blood approves, and kisses are a better fate than wisdom lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry -the best gesture of my brain is less than your eyelids' flutter which says we are for each other: then laugh leaning back in my arms for life's not a paragraph And death i think is no parenthesis
Another favorite e.e. cummings... since feeling is first who pays any attention to the syntax of things will never wholly kiss you; wholly to be a fool while Spring is in the world my blood approves, and kisses are a better fate than wisdom lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry -the best gesture of my brain is less than your eyelids' flutter which says we are for each other: then laugh leaning back in my arms for life's not a paragraph And death i think is no parenthesis
I love this one... I love the last sentence the best. *sigh*