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twinkle


Coach

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Friend ruined my sweater...
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How do I handle this? I lent one of my best friends a really nice cashmere BCBG sweater for an impt. day at work- I had only worn it once myself, ever.


She wore it and dry cleaned it to be nice and gave it back to me in the dry cleaning bag. When I took it out, there was a huge hole in the shoulder of the sweater (unfixable- not on a seam).


I called her and told her and she got really defensive and said that there was a tiny little hole in it already, and the dry cleaner must have made it bigger- not her fault.


Now, I am basically 99.9% positive there was no hole in it before- and if there was- why not tell me before you wear it and risk making it bigger???


She totally didnt offer to replace it or pay me back or anything (and not sure if she should), she was just like, "Well what do you want me to do?? Its not my fault."


I'm annoyed. Advice?



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lynnie


Chanel

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I really have no advice to offer except I'm sorry =(  I never lend out nice things though for exactly this reason- I always assume whatever I lend will come back ruined, and I have to decide if I'm ok with that or not.  I would just feel too awful asking a friend to replace something, because lets face it, accidents happen.  I also don't ever borrow people's nice things, because I'm scared I'll ruin it myself.  Do you think a specialist could fix your sweater- someone who specifically restores old knits?  Or maybe you could look on eBay for it and get it for much cheaper. 



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honey


Gucci

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that sucks, i'm sorry. if it's a really good friend, then i'd let it slide. but i think it's kind of bs that she noticed the whole and didn't tell you about it. she should've said something at the outset, then you'd know. also i second what lynnie said. i bet if you search daily candy, you'll probably find a rec. for somoene who can repair it.

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Cortney1982


Chanel

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I never lend out any of my things for reasons like this.  Mostly because I never get my stuff back, they say they don't have it.  Yeah right.  Even cd's, dvd's-they come back scratched to all hell.  I don't even let my sister borrow my shoes, because I'm afraid she will treat them rough (drag feet, totally bend the toes, scuff them up).


Just consider the sweater a loss.  I bet she had it dry cleaned because she felt guilty putting a hole in it and tried to blame the dry cleaner!  If this friend asks to borrow something again and you refuse, she should understand why.  If not, maybe she isn' a good friend.



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Farrah


Marc Jacobs

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She is probably lying to you.  I'd kick her ass and tell her to piss off. 

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esquiress


Marc Jacobs

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first of all, i'd be really annoyed that my sweater was ruined.  But to add insult to injury, i'd be really really annoyed at her bullsh*t attitude.  i'd probably never ever lend her anything ever again and i'd tell her that she should've told me about the hole that was supposedly there as soon as she saw it and that that sweater was one of my favorite sweaters and that i'm never lending her anything again, ever.  it is honestly getting me worked up just thinking about it and it's not even my sweater!  her attitude just so sucks! poor mara, so sorry you had to have this happen!

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Andrea Julia


Coach

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Not sure how this idea would pan out.  It depends on what your friendship is like.


Is the sweater still available in the store?  Is it available on ebay?  If so, say to her (or even e-mail her to avoid confrontation), "I want you to do whatever you feel is right, but I just wanted to let you know that the sweater is still available in the store."  Send a weblink if possible.  Then, just don't mention it again.  I think you should stay friends with her either way, but don't lend her anything else.


I personally am such a bi-atch about lending things out.  I really never do it.  Back in high school,  a friend borrowed a Bebe cardigan from me (I was a big Bebe whore back in high school) and she actually cut the size tag out because it itched her.  I was upset to begin with because it was one of the most expensive things I owned at the time and I felt that it made it look crappy to see where the tag was cut out when I left it on my chair at work.  To add insult to injury, the part of the tag that was leftover itched me (it never itched me at all when the tag was there).  I was sooo freakin' pissed.  And she acted like she did nothing wrong.  I didn't ask her to replace it, but that's the last time I lent something out.



-- Edited by Andrea Julia at 19:10, 2005-07-12

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esquiress


Marc Jacobs

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I'm really protective of my clothes too.  i lend but i literally want the stuff back asap and in exactly the same condition.  in fact if someone offers to get it cleaned i say no because i only trust a certain dry cleaners' to take care of my clothes.  actually come to think of it, the thing i worry about the most is cashmere sweaters, because even if your friend can fit into it and is your size, no one's body dimensions are exactly alike and so i'm always afraid of the "stretching out problem," even in weird areas--like what if her elbows are pointier than mine?  ok i'm starting to sound neurotic now but seriously mara, i feel your pain!


oh and as for the replacement issue, it depends on how close you guys are (and how close you want to stay) but maybe try this, either in person, over the phone, or e-mail--i really miss my sweater and i think the least you could do would be to replace it.  i really feel like you took advantage of my generosity by borrowing my sweater and then returning it damaged.  i would never have done such a thing to you and if somehow an accident happened, i'd immediately offer to replace it and to be honest it really bothers me that you didn't even offer.  i'm never lending you anything again, ever.--ok sorry, that was so not diplomatic!  i am really having a hard time thinking straight on this issue!



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ejc423


Coach

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I would ask her where she took it to get it cleaned so I could call the dry cleaners and try to figure out where the hole came from.  If this doesn't get her to fess up, I'd ask her to come with me to the dry cleaners so we can figure out if they made the hole bigger and what they should do about it.  I don't know if it will work, but it will let her know that you are serious about people respecting your stuff.


I am sorry you have to deal with this crap.



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twinkle


Coach

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thank you guys sooo much for the responses! i told her to see if her dry cleaners would replace it or pay for (since she swears that it must have been them) and if not to just forget it. its not worth getting into a big thing over as she's a good friend but i will definitely not be lending her anything again.


BTW, i never lend my clothes to anyone and the ONLY reason i sometimes lend things to her is that she has the most fab pair of michael kors shoes that i plan on borrowing... LOL!!!



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Andrea Julia


Coach

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Mara wrote:


 BTW, i never lend my clothes to anyone and the ONLY reason i sometimes lend things to her is that she has the most fab pair of michael kors shoes that i plan on borrowing... LOL!!!

Ohhh.  I hope you don't accidentally step in a puddle or break a heel or something.

-- Edited by Andrea Julia at 20:42, 2005-07-13

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esquiress


Marc Jacobs

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Andrea Julia wrote:




Mara wrote:  BTW, i never lend my clothes to anyone and the ONLY reason i sometimes lend things to her is that she has the most fab pair of michael kors shoes that i plan on borrowing... LOL!!!


Ohhh.  I hope you don't accidentally step in a puddle or break a heel or something. -- Edited by Andrea Julia at 20:42, 2005-07-13




 


hee hee, then at least the sweater didn't go to waste...which shoes are they btw? 



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