STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

the cost of living in the bay area is comparable to boston (slightly less than new york, but still very expensive compared to the rest of the country!).  if you want a family friendly neighborhood in the city itself, i would recommend noe valley or cole valley/ashbury heights.  both areas are safe and mostly residential, but still close to shops, restaurants, and public transportation.  other family friendly areas, like cow hollow, are much more expensive.  outside the city, i would check out berkeley and the surrounding towns in the east bay (orinda, piedmont, walnut creek, etc.).  those areas are great for families- it's more laid-back out there than in san francisco and you should be able to find something affordable.  be careful if you're looking in oakland- there are some fabulous parts, but also some very dangerous neighborhoods.   

i'm sure you'll miss new york at first, especially if you've never moved too far and your family is there.  but san francisco is a very cosmopolitan city with world-class restaurants, stunning architecture, and tons of cultural attractions.  i think of it as kind of a mini new york- it's a very manageable city with much better weather!  and the surrounding area is breathtakingly beautiful- the marin headlands, angel island, highway 1 down the coast, etc. 

it's normal to be scared about making such a big move- i was petrified!  but i'm so glad i just went for it.  do some research, maybe come out and visit the area first to see if you like it.  good luck!!