STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Hahahahahaha. I love gofugyourself. I hadn't been caught up in the Tom/Katie crap, but this is, well, hilarious. I'm totally going to start saying "swacket".

Tom Cruise is apparently dating Katie Holmes. I know! I hadn't heard anything about it either.

What's more, he's apparently asserting his UNBEARABLE LOVE by making her wear only cast-off baby clothing as outerwear, hence the weird, short, unbuttonable, uncomfortable Members Only gear our little Joey Potter's working here. Wait, that may be unfair of me. I am SURE he's not MAKING her wear it, even though factual evidence from Katie Holmes's Pre-Tom-Cruise-Past proves that she does, in fact, usually exhibit beautiful taste in clothing. But I'm SURE Tom Cruise would never MAKE Joey Potter do ANYTHING that she wasn't, you know, CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED to do in some way [other contractually obligated items allegedly include: awkwardly making out with him in public; getting dragged onto Oprah's set to bear witness his complete break with mental health; referring to him solely as "Maverick," except on Tuesdays, when she may call him "Pacey"; pretending that her Paxil is actually just folic acid; marrying him and bearing a human child of his flamingly heterosexual loins].

In fact, what am I talking about? Am I insinuating that this relationship is a...what's the word? A sham? A sham relationship? A sham heterosexual relationship between TOM CRUISE and a very young woman with a big movie set to open quite, quite soon? No! NO. Joey Potter would not lie to me like that. She didn't lie to me when she went off on that boat with Pacey, and she didn't lie to me when Dawson's dad died chasing an errant scoop of ice cream, and she wouldn't start now. This is LOVE. It's LOVE. I am just BITTER and CYNICAL and I can't see REAL TRUE LOVE when it's having a convulsion on my sofa and beating its tiny little fists on my floor.

Clearly, Joey just shrank this little sweater/jacket [swacket?] in the wash because she was SO absent-minded FROM LOVE that she set the washer to "hot" instead of "cold." No one is forcing her to wear tiny little clothes in public as part of a weird Scientology-related mind-fuck process that I'm going to get killed for even talking about. I'm terribly sorry. I never said that. You never read this. They're totally in love, and we're all going to see War of the Worlds, and that other movie with the big bat. Totally.