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bex


Chanel

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need to vent!
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sooooo the BF and i live together.  have lived together for just over a year.  in august we will have been dating 3 years. 


during the week the BF works from 6:30 am until 5,6, 7 sometimes 8 o'clock at night.  not only this, but he manages a dept. and has to go in to "start" their day on saturday and sundays too.  when he does this, 6:30 am to 10 am.  and he has been doing this for the past 6 months. 


on to the venting.  he makes me all these promises over the weekend like


- i'll look for a new job this week and i am going to do this this and this to make that happen for me.


- i'll clean up the kitchen and take out the trash.


- i'll take all your boxes full of product (the co. i work for is continually sending me boxes and we are beginning to look like we live in a warehouse) to our storage unit.


- i'll file my papers this week (that are cluttering up my office that i work from while i am at home!)


and on and on and on... guess what?  these are all promises he made me last weekend and guess what?  none of the are done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  oh and to add insult to injury, we never sleep together anymore b/c he is "so tired and wiped out" from his job.... 


*sigh* this way of life is getting to me big time and the thing that pisses me off is that it is all work related and he just won't get off his a$$ and find something new.  his mom even tells me how lazy she thinks he is in that department.  both of her sons are... they both work insane hours and get nothing in return from their companys.


anyway- i just needed to get that off my chest.  i was doing the dishes a few minutes ago after i took  out the trash and was getting so ticked that i needed to do something so i wouldn't explode at him when he comes home tonight.



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blubirde


Chanel

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damn bex, that sucks. you're not the only one fed up with your man and what he doesn't do. i have two friends (one who got married less than a year ago) and one who just moved in with her so and is getting married in october. they both complain about their boys and how it seems the second they got married/moved in, they got all the household responsibilities, even though the boys promised to do this or that. (my friend who just moved in with her boy actually came over crying one night last week because they got in a huge fight about him promising to do some things and then not doing them because he was too tired from work, wanted to watch tv, blah, blah, blah.)


i don't have any advice but i can sympathize with you. you shouldn't have to put up with what you're putting up with. i would think that if he knew how miserable you were, that would be some motivation for him to change the situation. at least i hope so.


(((hugs)))



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beachgirl


Kenneth Cole

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I can relate!



-- Edited by beachgirl at 16:47, 2005-06-03

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Metric


Gucci

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I'm in the same boat as you girls too.


My bf was totally jazzed about getting a dog and now after having her for only three weeks, he is "too tired" to walk her, won't clean up poop, doesn't feed her. So "our dog" is completely my responsiblilty. Not that I really mind (b/c she is my baby) but it would be nice if for one morning I didn't have to get up at 6:30 am to walk her.


And its not like I ask him to do soooo many things. He doesn't have to clean (we have a housekeeper 2x month) he doesn't cook, he won't mow the lawn. And I'm such a soft touch b/c me nagging him will just start a big fight so I just avoid it and do it myself. When I ask him to do something, say sort laundry, it takes him sooo bloody long to get onto it that I may as well just do it myself b/c if I wait for him I would never have any clean clothes. 


How do boys get away with being so friggin' LAZY!?!



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Elle


Hermes

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I think you need to have a division of labor discussion.  I'm not saying it should be 50/50 if he works more outside the home than you do, but more of a discussion to clarify what you expect from each other and who will be responsible for what.  FH and I have lived together for 3 years, and the situation we have now works out pretty well for us (disgusting roomie and current 2000 miles separating us notwithstanding):


I do the laundry, he does the dishes.  I HATE dishes and he screws up the laundry so it works pretty well.  The condition of this is that all clothing that needs to be washed must be in the hamper (if it's not, I don't wash it ), and all dishes must be rinsed/scrubbed and in the dish drainer after use.  Also, he does the vacuuming and the sweeping and anything car related.  I do toilets and mopping and clutter control and other misc deep cleaning.


When you live with anyone, you'll both have to make some compromises.  Even if you handle a majority of the housework, he should still (1) show his appreciation and (2) not expect to be able to leave things everywhere for you to clean up.  Good luck!



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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment ~ {Ralph Waldo Emerson}
bex


Chanel

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Posts: 3194
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thanks for letting me vent.  hopefully we will be moving soon and when we move i already told him i am hiring a maid 2x a month to come in and do the basic cleaning so we don't have too.  we both work/travel too much and i think that neither of us really wants to do it.  but until then we'll just have to work on it together!


but i am glad to see that i am not the "only" one in this predicament!



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ViViDogWear


Kate Spade

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Posts: 1332
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Ah!  I can totally relate!  BF and I started living together 3.5 yrs ago.  We've been together about 5.5 now. 


Anyhow, he doesn't do anything. He tells me to leave it but things get so stanky and gross i eventually take care of everything.  and i clean when I am mad - lucky guy!


 


well, i moved out for reasons that is too much, but lets just say I still am over there 90% of the time and he tells me not to clean but mind you - his sink smelled like a rotting pond! ugh so i clean, i cook, and take out the trash.  the neighbor said he wants to marry me!  lol


 



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