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Karina


Chanel

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Etiquette Question
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Vin's(fh) grandmother (who is more like a mother to him) threw me a baby shower last weekend. I was talking to her on the phone the other day and she asked me how I liked the favors she made for me .. and I said that I really liked them, and I thanked her for them, and then I thanked her for the party. She said "Oh, well don't thank me, thank the rest of the family members since they made salads and food for the party and got you gifts." I'm thinking to myself, Hmmm ok, that's kinda rude. So I said, yes I'm planning on sending out thank you cards, can you please give me the addresses on a list?

So Vin gives me the list today - on it has the names and addresses of everyone, plus what gifts they gave me and what they did for the party, as far as what food they prepared, cakes, cookies, she also put next to certain people's names, "great helper", "helped put together so and so thing", etc..etc...

I thought that was pretty tacky and i feel like she did that to "show" me what everyone did for me.. why throw a party for someone if you have to throw in their face what everyone did for them? Am I being unreasonable and hormonal, or am I right for being a little ticked off?

Karina

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sage


Dooney & Bourke

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Maybe she was just showing how much everyone likes you. No one is eager to help put on a shower for someone they aren't fond of. And the whole list of what people did, etc, I think maybe your FGIL just has a lot of free time. Don't let it bug ya, Karina!!


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esquiress


Marc Jacobs

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i think she's just being persnickety but probably doesn't mean anything by it.  she probably just wants all the help she received acknowledged.  in fact, i bet you she'd love to write the thank you notes herself to make sure they're "done right."  also, i've noticed that some people really like being thanked (a lot) for every little thing they do.  so if it were me, i'd probably lay it on thick (the thank you's i mean) since it's no skin off my nose and will make her happy (i might even get her some flowers, because even though she made that "don't thank me" comment, you know she'd love it, but then again, i'm cheesy like that).


Whatever, just write the notes however you were going to and don't give it a second thought.    



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Andrea Julia


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I don't know about baby showers, but at a bridal shower, the maid of honor usually writes down all the gifts the bride gets and who they are from in order to help the bride to write thank yous.  Maybe your FH's grandmother was just taking that to another level by letting you know each and every thing that was done.  She probably thinks she is helping you out since she may feel she knows more about what went into the planning than you, as the guest of honor, did.  I could see her lovingly preparing the list while thinking to herself how easy she is making thank-you-card writing for you.  I also find that many grandmothers like to baby their grandchildren no matter how old they get so she may be looking at you as someone younger and less experienced that she is educating.


Her comment on the phone did seem a little snotty though.  Although she could have been being modest and trying to reflect your praise onto others.



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Andrea Julia


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esquiress wrote:

 she probably just wants all the help she received acknowledged.  in fact, i bet you she'd love to write the thank you notes herself to make sure they're "done right."    
I agree.  I'm actually kind of like this by nature and often have to hold myself back from taking control of things just so they are "done right".

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Karina


Chanel

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Yeah, you girls are right. I am a little hormonal lately, so it did tick me off. Vin says I should write his grandmother a thank you card for the cliff notes. LOL

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blubirde


Chanel

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Your post made me laugh karina. This sounds like something my grandmother would do to my brother's wife. It's definitely rude but old people are like that, aren't they? I have to bite my tongue all the time in front of my grandmother because as much as I love her and appreciate her (I do!), she drives the polite person in me insane!!!

She probably just wants you to know how everyone went out of their way just for you. Maybe it's actually a compliment? Letting you know how much everyone cares about you. She probably put all the food people brought on the list so you can specifically mention it in the thank you card.

Don't worry. You're not being hormonal - it's irritating - but we have to give our elders slack don't we? When I'm old and crotchety I don't want some little whipper snapper telling me I'm being rude. Even when I am.

But sometimes isn't it easier when you don't have to say thank you all the time? I just want to give one big "thanks" at the party and then move on. What's with all the personalized notes and such? I'd just as soon go to the store and buy all the shit myself as go to all that trouble!!! (Of course I play by the rules, too, but sometimes it bugs.)

-- Edited by blubirde at 23:41, 2005-05-31

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Karina


Chanel

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you're definitely pickin up what im putting down, blubirde!

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blink


Coach

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esquiress wrote:

i think she's just being persnickety but probably doesn't mean anything by it.     
I agree with this, and "persnickety" made me laugh.  I have a grandma like that.

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theotherjess


Chanel

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blubirde wrote:

 When I'm old and crotchety I don't want some little whipper snapper telling me I'm being rude.
HAHHAHAHA!! 

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