STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Karina · Chanel

ya know.. it never ends.

kenzie · Chanel

Ugh, that sucks. I know how you feel. My boss threatens my job on a regular basis b/c she says that I suck. Nevermind that since I took over, we have had increases of 70-100% everyday. Whatever. She's a beyatch and I can't believe that she threatens my job b/c her area isn't the #1 area in the company. I hate bitchy bosses.

(((((hugs)))))

Karina · Chanel

wow. 2 people that were sitting near me that heard this guy yelling at me just approached me to apologize for this guy's actions, and said that it is not my fault

bex · Chanel

i feel so bad that both of your supervisors are awful... i feel so so so blessed that out of all three of the jobs i have held after graduation all three of my supervisors were AMAZING! i am still friends with the first two- we go out to dinner when i am in the area and email on a weekly basis. my current supervisor is constantly telling me how much he appreciates my hard work... when you find that- you will be SO happy... even if you partly hate your job- your supervisor will make such a difference!

lynnie · Chanel

Can you possibly say something to their bosses? I agree with Bex- you shouldn't have terrible supervisors- they should be awesome. Now, clearly, this usually isn't the way of the world. But if they are completely ruining the morale of the company, they should be fired. They are doing more harm than good. Make a note of instances where you were wronged and speak with their supervisors in a tactful and sensitive way, you do not want to come across as the bad guy.

Karina · Chanel

I just emailed my HR rep since she is taking her sweet time to get back to me with the exact specifics of what happened today. Let's see what she says..

Andrea Julia · Coach

I'm sorry, Karina! I don't know what to say. I'm sure you are doing a great job, but these people are just being totally unprofessional jerks! I would say maybe you could do your report in one day next time just to show them how one day's worth of research is inadequate, but then they would probably yell at you for handing in a bad report. I feel so bad: this promotion has brought so much trouble to you. I never heard you complain once about your old job. I hope the raise was worth it at least.

-- Edited by Andrea Julia at 12:49, 2005-04-27

Kincali · Dooney & Bourke

Karina, I've been sitting here trying to re-word my post so it doesn't come out blunt, or harsh. I don't think I'm doing a good job of it. From my experience of working at large corporations, this behavior is basically leading up to a dismissal.

The ill treatment I think is based on two things, one the manager doesn't like you(obvious enough). The other is that I think they are hoping that you will quit first. At this point I would contact HR in saying you are feeling harrassed, and are going to seek legal advice if the behavior continues. I have a feeling this situation is just going to get worse.

Hopefully someone works in HR on the forum, and can maybe give you better ideas on how to handle this situation. From my experience Human Resources is not there for you, they are there to protect the company. Not a slight against any HR people, but just based on my experience. I'm sorry this is happening to you, I've seen it happen to the best. I really think who you report to can make all the difference in a job.

-- Edited by fairlight at 13:16, 2005-04-27

-- Edited by fairlight at 13:17, 2005-04-27

-- Edited by fairlight at 13:18, 2005-04-27

Karina · Chanel

i am just really concerned with how this is all going to affect my 90 day review

see post http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=44784&subForumID=111563&action=viewTopic&commentID=2733908&topicPage=

and the rest of the time here at the company prior to maternity leave. i just can't deal. i am so emotionally and psychologically overwhelmed.

sfcaligirl · Dooney & Bourke

karina, i'm so sorry you're going through this! i agree with fairlight about contacting HR and saying that you're feeling harrassed. they know you're pregnant, right? this isn't good for you right now- you don't need this stress! it seems like your supervisors are bullying you and being combative for no reason. is this how they operate with other people in your position? if you haven't done so already, i would start keeping a record of each incident.

at least your coworkers recognize that this supervisor's demands/behavior are ridiculous. i don't know what to say, except hang in there. and take care of yourself!!!

Karina · Chanel

i just spoke to HR, who told me that she will be speaking with Boss #2 about the way he spoke to me and maybe talk about the work schedule expectations again. I don't know if there is anything else I should do, or just sit at my desk and rot away for the next 2 months.

lsubatgirl · Gucci

Keep doing what you have to do for this position but start working on that resume and cover letter! I'd get it all together and start looking for a new job. I'd even apply to some if they were great jobs that you are interested in. If they want you they'll work with you on the being pregnant part. In fact one of my friends last semester went to all of her interviews noticably pregnant and she just told them yes I'm pregnant but I want to work and have made all the necessary arrangement regarding childcare once the baby is born and left it at that. She ended up getting job offers from multiple places before she finally decided on a job.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Karina honey - please believe me on this - it's a good idea to STOP challenging these people. I dont' want to criticize you when you're having a hard time, and I'm really sorry you are, and YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS TREATMENT. Trust me on this one thing, however, emailing the other managers was the EXACT wrong thing to do. Arguing with him about the time was the exact wrong thing to do. Details don't matter. Facts don't matter. Your work ethic, prior work performance and expectations unfortunately, don't matter. Wow. Proving him wrong is really NOT the point here. Proving you're strong, capable and completely unfazed by any unprofessional behavior is.

It really sounds like there's a reputation problem here - the one boss was treating you poorly, and probably bad mouthing you, so it signaled the other bosses to treat you poorly, and they're buying his storyline. Storyline is key. Right now, the one that's probably going around is "well, you know she's pregnant. It's too bad some women think they can get out of doing their job... or get away with doing a poor job and expect everyone to feel sorry for them... " and blah blah blah like that. IT"S NOT TRUE. and unfortunately, that doesn't matter. Can you see how asking for any break for a legitimate reason, including the health problems you're having now, just plays into the storyline? I've seen this one before. And watch how now, no matter what you do, all the EXTRA work you do just makes up for the supposed deficit, so you dont' get any credit...

And HR going to bat for you just buys into the storyline... "Sometimes women get so sensitive when they're pregnant..." Plus, the HR talking to him isn't going to fix anything. It's like telling the teacher when the school bully pushes you. No, he's not supposed to do it. But basically everyone expects that you'll learn how to handle it yourself.

And when the people apologized to you for him (which has happened to me, believe me) it's a great chance to shrug and say something like "sometimes people just don't know how to handle pressure. I understand, everyone has their own way of dealing..." because if you accept the sympathy it puts you in a one-down position... (I learned this one the hard way...)

Look, I agree with the poster who said that HR is there for the company, not the employee (nothing against HR, but that's who pays their salary, so that only makes sense) and that this is leading up to a dismissal, and that they're hoping you quit. The thing is, you don't have to. You can stick it out. I've seen people power through much worse. You've just got to get off the ropes and start hanging tough. This is an unfair situation. They are not goign to play fair. You don't have to take it. MANAGE THE STORY. MANAGE YOUR STORY. And please, you wouldn't argue with your toddler if he said you could make a sandwich in three seconds and started crying. You would look at him, smile and say, "I love that you have such high expectations for me - good to know you think I can do more than the other mommies. I'll let you know when it's done..."

It's a bad situation, and it's no wonder it's driving you nuts. Putting it back on him, and being cool about it in the conversation was great, though. Good job there. You definitely have the stuff to get through this.

PS - Be prepared for some backlash from the email to all the bosses.

Karina · Chanel

ok.. after speaking with one of the forecasting managers (who was my old boss when i first got the promotion), she said that his expectations were unreasonable and that she would speak to the HR rep regarding this situation to reiterate anything or explain anything regarding the situation since boss 1 is absent.

after old boss spoke to the HR rep, she said that she would pretend like she asked me how i was doing with the new bosses, and i told her that he was disappointed on how long my task was taking and that she would speak to boss 2 about the work and how long it should take, and perhaps give suggestions on what we can to do make the task simpler.

HR is not going to get involved with this one (or his yelling at me in front of everyone will not be brought to his attention) Old boss also told me how impressed she was with how professional I have been acting and she also told HR the same.

I also forgot to add, Boss 2 sent out a mass email, with our director, Boss 1 and rest of department on it indicating that my task would take 1 day and that I would be contacting them if I had any questions, even after I told him that the task would not take me 1 day and basically it was too bad for him. I have an obligation to Boss 1 to do forecasting for 3 days out of the week and I will not go back on that, since my job is on the line and that is my main focus and responsibility.

-- Edited by Karina at 19:44, 2005-04-27

carmenb513 · Coach

Sorry Karina I agree with Fairlight. I've seen my District Mgr. do it to a couple of people. She made it absolutely miserable until the quit.Eventually they would have been fired. Granted both of them were not performing up to standard.But that's when a GOOD MGR. OR BOSS steps in and coaches and teaches to get them to perform to their potential.When they have been PROPERLY coached and can not perform, that's when the should be let go or maybe a demotion until they can develop. Hang in there girl, cause it sounds like they are not effectively coaching and training and providing you with necessary and HELPFUL FEEDBACK.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Great networking with the old boss! I bet it feels good to have someone in your corner... Screw HR - I've always loved the people who work in HR, they tend to be nice and they can do a lot for you if they want to. But a bad HR rep can seriously mess things up. It's counterintuitive, but I still think you should kiss up to yours. Do you two have anything in common? I bet she's a pain, but maybe she has hobbies like scrapbooking. Scrapbookers LOVE stickers and things like that, which is nice because they're cheap. And if you let them show you their books, wow, they adore you.

Listen, just hang in there. You're doing great. This is an incredibly hard situation because it feels like there's a lot on the line. But really, there isn't. They're crazy. They're just never going to admit it. And the more evidence you collect about how wrong they are, the more upset and angry and belligerent they're going to be. This type of person will quite literally argue that the grass is blue and the sky is green and "what's wrong with you if you think that it's not..." (I loved Asshole 2s little hook about how if you don't know that you shouldn't be in this job... Way to go for not clocking him right there). The difficult thing to do with these people is accept that they will fight to the death even when they are obviously and completely WRONG. So just sidestep them. Smile, say "Um-hmmm..." pretend they're a four year old who has just insisted that his daddy can beat you up.

When things got really bad with my boss, I had a buddy who would meet me for an ice cream break whenever I called. It was great because it was a built-in treat, and, well, everything is better after icecream. You're under an incredible amount of pressure. You should treat yourself. You definitely deserve it, managing these crazy people all day!

Tati · Chanel

dont have any advice in the work field other than just hang in there. I just really wanted to let you know how sorry i am that your going through this bullshit, especially cause your pregnant. try to take it easy, remember the baby feels your emotions. Right? or am i wrong? no, i think i'm right on that........

Karina · Chanel

old boss spoke to AH#2

this is what she wrote to me:

Yeah, I told him that I thought if you could review the audit reports in a day and a half that would be great. That's how long it takes the other analysts I think. I think as long as you're getting faster each week, then you're on track. He's pretty set in his opinions, but hopefully I was able to convince him to give you more time to make improvements. So next week just do your best to complete the reports by Tuesday afternoon. I think HR is going to talk to him also.

i dont know how the hell they expect me to do the work in 1.5 days - it is a lot of information .. i guess mondays and tuesdays i need to stay later, come in earlier and not take lunch.

-- Edited by Karina at 10:37, 2005-04-28

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Since this one has turned into such a big deal, I'm sorry but I think you're stuck doing whatever it takes to get it done that quickly. Everyone will notice now if you don't. From the tone of the note, I think your boss has stuck her neck out as far as she's going to, by the way. Might be time to give her something so she won't start charging interest on the favor.

But hey, "set in his opinions" is a GREAT storyline. Hit that one every time you talk about him. "Yeah, he's nice, a little set in his opinions..." "Yeah, I have been used to someone a little more flexible, but after you've been here as long as he has, I guess it's normal to be so set in your opinions..." "I think companies need bosses who can be flexible, but hey, nothing wrong with being a little set in your opinions..." When you talk to him, say things like "Oh, we all know how you are..." and act like you're doing him a special favor by meeting his crazy deadlines (this turns the storyline back on him, and prevents him from acting like you're just not meeting his expectations).

Oh, and HR is a bitch. "As long as you show steady improvement..." my but! Hit her with an email next week on three things you've improved. And then keep doing it every week! She'll be so sick of your steady improvement - then buy her candles for "being so nice to you..." but make them ones that will make her office smell like an old lady's bathroom for a month or something!

Wow, I'm starting to take this personally, sorry, got a little carried away there... Do what you want, but have fun with it...

PS - Sometimes you can drop something from your work duties that no one will notice instead of working through lunch. No one knows what you do.

-- Edited by Dizzy at 18:37, 2005-04-28

Karina · Chanel

no, it was my old boss that wrote me that email... it sounds from her email that she was getting a little aggravated at the whole situation and her sticking her nose in it.

asshole came up to me again before i left today and said that he spoke to old boss and they are putting in more measures in the report to make it "easier for me" .. i said "yeah, that'll make it easier.. its adequate to say it'll still take me about 2 days to complete"

dick.