STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
stylethread site home page -> stylethread forum -> general chat -> I feel like a bad daughter- need advice
Post Info TOPIC: I feel like a bad daughter- need advice
Metric


Gucci

Status: Offline
Posts: 2747
Date:
I feel like a bad daughter- need advice
Permalink Closed

I think I've gotten myself into a bit of a dilemma. And I don't know what to do so any advice is much appreciated.


Ok, some background...my bf and I live in my mom's house while we save for our own house. We have been here 5 years and she treats us like gold. My mom is single and she and I are best friends. We spend lots of time togeather and always travel togeather. Recently, my mom was going to pay for me to go to England with her to visit my cousin but my cousin has decided to come home so insted she gave me the dp for my new car.


Saturday afternoon The Dames (my mom's group of girlfriends) took me out to lunch and we started discussing places we want to travel. I started talking about going to Peru (where my bf's family lives, I have never been, he hasn't been back for 6 years) and I realized that it is totally feasible for us to go. But my mom really wants to go too and she started to run with the idea. I made a joke about her being our chaparone but I didn't really think she was serious at the time. Turns out she is totally into the idea of the three of us going there.


After telling my bf about it, he really wants us to go but not with my mom. I realized that I want just us to go, too. We would be staying and visiting lots of his family and I don't think having my mom with us would really work. And we would be travelling around and backpacking and I don't think my mom (she is 56 years old and likes more luxury-style travel) would be happy doing that. Also my bf and I have never travelled alone or vacationed alone togeather before- we have dated for almost 6 years.


I would love to travel alone with my bf, but I really don't want to hurt my mom's feelings-especially after all she has done for us. I feel horrible about it, I feel totally guilty for not wanting my mom to come- one of her dreams is to see Machu Picchu. I just don't know what to do or say if it comes up. I should have set her straight right away, now what can I do?



__________________
lsubatgirl


Gucci

Status: Offline
Posts: 2902
Date:
Permalink Closed

Could you maybe do something like let her go with you and yall could spend a few days together sight seeing and then send her to a spa for a few days while you and your bf do your thing?  It might be an idea that could work.

__________________
Karina


Chanel

Status: Offline
Posts: 3257
Date:
Permalink Closed

your mom is going to be totally hurt when she finds out you and the BF are going to peru alone... why don't you pose the idea of your mom coming along with one of her girlfriends, that way you travel with your mom but still have alone time with the BF?


 


 



__________________
Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

Status: Offline
Posts: 2130
Date:
Permalink Closed

I have no idea - but good luck with this one... And I highly doubt you're a bad daughter, or that one incident of hurt feelings will do much to an otherwise great relationship... Wish I had something like this with my mom...

__________________
lynnie


Chanel

Status: Offline
Posts: 3612
Date:
Permalink Closed

What if you leave like a week earlier with your boyfriend (or however long you want to backpack/visit family) and do that on your own, and she flies out to meet you, alone or with a friend, for the last few days and finish up in luxury, then all fly back together?  I definitely think compromise is your best bet!

__________________

my fashion/style thoughts www.poetryofpause.com 
cc


Marc Jacobs

Status: Offline
Posts: 2047
Date:
Permalink Closed

I think you can definitely come up with some sort of compromise. I think any of the ideas here could work.

If you guys are really close you can probably be honest with her about it right? Just say that you want to spend time with your boyfriend's family and do some backpacking so maybe she could either 1) come with a friend, 2) only come for part of the trip, 3) spend part of her time there with you and the rest by herself, perhaps hooking up with some sort of tour group or doing guided day trips.

__________________
idprefernotto.blogspot.com
blubirde


Chanel

Status: Offline
Posts: 4845
Date:
Permalink Closed

I really think everyone's suggestions are best - compromise.


However, if that's not feasible, can you plan a trip with just your mother? Maybe not to Peru but somewhere else that would be just the two of you? I'm not sure if that would help or not but it's an idea.


But surely your mom would understand you and your bf needing some time to meet his family/visit his family alone and then she could come out later to meet them, too?



__________________
http://dailypointers.blogspot.com/
greendiamond


Marc Jacobs

Status: Offline
Posts: 2127
Date:
Permalink Closed

Perhaps you can explain that you'd rather your first trip to Peru be without her, since you'll be spending so much time with his family, and let her know that the next time you visit his family there, she is totally invited.


If this is the first time meeting his folks, then I think it is especially important she not go. You don't need the stress of meeting them paired with the stress of how your mother is getting along with everyone too.


-gd



__________________

-gd
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
stylethread site home page -> stylethread forum -> general chat -> I feel like a bad daughter- need advice
Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard