STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Metric · Gucci

pissing me off

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

ok, deep breaths, bc, deep breaths. i'm not being flip, just trying to put this in perspective is all. and if anything i'm about to say offends you, please let me know and i'll retract.

ok, so it seems like you're super close to your mom. and w/ good reason, i mean she's your mom and it sounds like she's really supportive and has been there for both you and the bf. but here's the part i don't get--why is him leaving early from one dinner being taken as a rejection of your mom and of you? he has to leave, he made other plans. if you think he's lying and that he didn't really make those plans, then that's another issue. but if he just double-booked by mistake, why are you seeing that as an intentional slight against you and your mom? i don't get it?

also, if you are (and i'm not saying you are, just if) badgering him and making it into a big huge do or die type deal then he's probably just going to dig his heels in even more and in his head he will be thinking of all the sacrifices he's made/nice things he's done that you don't appreciate, etc.,etc. and next thing you know, you are in a big old fight over a dinner. i dunno, i think that would be a real shame.

so i guess what i'm saying is if this situation is a 'straw that broke the camel's back' type of thing and he's always flaking or something, then that's one thing but at face value, it seems like you're kinda overreacting a little (jmo, though!)

Tara · Dooney & Bourke

I think he is being selfish, BC. Perhaps you should explain to him that this dinner is very important to your mother b/c it is the beginning of a new career for her, it is a way to show that he is part of the family, it is a way to show his support for her in her new endeavor, etc. Since your mom has been so willing to help your b/f - I would think that your b/f would want to show his support for her as well.

I hope this works out!

ShanKel · Kenneth Cole

I dont think that its too much to ask for him stay for the entire dinner with you and your mom. I would be pretty pissed off too if he (all of a sudden) has these plans for a boxing match especially since you already asked him would that date be ok. I wouldn't continue to try to persuade him or make a big deal about it because he probably still will leave early and you will just stress yourself out for nothing. Just enjoy your evening with your mom and dont worry about him being there.

Also, I dont understand why he can't go to watch the boxing match a little late

Metric · Gucci

ok, I admit i was overreacting a bit. I just really needed a good vent more than anything. He just pisses me off that after alomst 6 years togeather he still always puts himself first, us after. Esquiress, you didn't offend me at all, actually I really appreciated your point of view.

But anyway, he had to do some major damage control last night. He forgot to tell me that he made plans for us to go to his mothers for dinner Sunday. So he had to break down and compromise, agreeing to stay for the whole dinner and go to boxing later. Could he not have just agree to that in the first place and not turned it into a fight? oh well.

RyanJ · Coach

quote:
Originally posted by: BrazenCanadian
"ok, I admit i was overreacting a bit. I just really needed a good vent more than anything. He just pisses me off that after alomst 6 years togeather he still always puts himself first, us after."

I know exaclty how you feel. I have been thinking about writing a similar post, but I just get pissed off before I finish and stop.

I have been with my boyfriend for over 5 years and everything seems to be more important than me. He is a really good guy and I know that. I think that after this long of being together we just take the other one for granted. I really don't have any advice, because I have the same problem as you do.

Wow, I really gave a helpful response.

- that is suppose be shrugging, but I think that is what it looks like.