STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Teresa · Kate Spade

Help me!

Kelly · Hermes

I think you should ask if you can talk with her because you think you both have different ideas and you want to get everything straightened out while you're still in a new working relationship and getting into a comfortable routine. Explain that the job seems to entitle much more than the ad had led you to believe, including a child with a learning disability, and that because of your experience you know that your current compensation is low. I'd especially mention your experience, so she knows you're not just some money-hungry college kid or something.

Would it be safe to say that she won't be able to find someone with your qualifications to work for $10/hour in your area? That may be helpful to mention - but if it's not true, it could backfire when/if she decides to call your bluff.

Honestly, I don't think she needed to ask if $10 was okay. I mean, in most job interviews they say "this job pays X amount" and they don't ask for your permission to set the wages at that level - it's up to you to bargain for higher compensation. So good luck bargaining!

cahabo · Kate Spade

Here is how I see it.

You had the opportunity to turn down the job offer when she told you she pays $10/hour. I think the things she is having you do are normal duties of a nanny, and if I was lucky enough to have one I sure would have a nanny do those things.

As for the ADHD, I know how that is! My own daughter has ADHD as well and has the worse behavior when she is not on her medication. I really think the mother should have noted this before hiring. I'm not sure what the average pay is for nannying in your area, but I doubt she will give you a 50% pay increase unless you can show some sort of report that shows that is what other nannies in your area are getting paid. Also you should remind her of the reasons you mentioned and your EXPERIENCE! I guess all you can do is give it a shot, so good luck!

Cortney1982 · Chanel

Well, that woman is sure getting her monies worth from you! I would definitely ask. She wouldn't want just anybody watching her kids would she? As other posters said, I would note you were unaware of the ADHD and extra household responsibilites.

Also, have you been looking around for another job? It could go either way if you mention you are looking for better paying opportunities or such and such person if offering you more $$.

lynnie · Chanel

Where do you live and what is the normal wage for this job? Because maybe you'd be better off leaving and getting paid more to do less work. Some people simply can't afford to pay more. Is she well off?

In NYC, my friend makes 15/hr for 2 easy kids and no housework. I'd think $15 would be fair for 3 kids, especially if one has a disability. But if she can't afford it, then that's that. I do think you're underpaid though.

twinkle_star · Kenneth Cole

Were the all of these duties not mentioned in the interview? Are they above and beyond what you did before and would expect? To me baths and meal prep would seem to be part and parcel of taking care of kids but I have no nannying experience so maybe that's not so.

If the child has been diagnosed with ADHD and she didn't disclose that at the interview you can use that as a bargaining chip when you talk to her. I would be careful not to put her on the defensive but gently point out that had you known that she was a child with this kind of special needs you never would have agreed to that salary. If you feel like she also didn't disclose all your duties I'd tell her that you understood that your duties would involved a, b and c and x, y and z were never mentioned. Then I think you need to be prepared to walk away and/or be prepared for a counter-offer.

In future it might be a good idea to have a written contract so that all expectations are understood. If you don't want to do that then at the end of the interview/when accepting the position I'd recap what you understand your duties would be to ensure that you both agree.

Good luck!

FashionPrincess · Hermes

I would approach it by saying that you were wondering if she could go over your list of expectations again because you were a little unclear on what they are, and then if she says laundry, meals, etc then that gives you an opportunity to say, ok I wasn't aware when I accepted the job that was expected and I didn't take that in to account with the agreed upon salary, if that is what you would like from me maybe we should reevaluate wages. And also that just gives both of you a clear list of what is your job and what isn't.

And I have nannied boys with ADHD before, it is hard but the most important thing is some patience and upbove all else consistency. Give it some time and if you are still frustrated I'd look elsewhere cause if you aren't enjoying it then it will only make the situation worse and won't benefit the children at all.