Sometimes people just aren't meant to be friends. I'm not friends with my cousins. I hope it doesn't bother them, but if it did oh well. I don't feel like I have a lot in common and to me there isn't a loss to just see them at family functions.
I know it sucks to have someone say they don't like you for a silly reason when you have been putting forth so much effort. Maybe this will work for the best. There is a chance you might not want to be friends with her and just don't know it yet!
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"Despite all your best intentions, sometimes, fate wins anyway."
So, wait - someone else told you this? For what purpose?
I grant you it's uncomfortable, and frustrating that you've tried hard to include her, but, whew! I guess you don't have to anymore. It sounds like you are close with the rest of your family, so the fact that she isn't says more about her than about you.
I have to say it's hard to believe someone not liking YOU of all people.
Hi - I know I'm new here so I hope you don't mind me replying. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry this is happening to you. I can relate to how it hurts - I've had some relatives apparently voice their dislike of me to others even though I've always tried super hard and would love to have a big close knit family group. And it seems to be the same thing - there is no real reason and some of it even seems to go back to old family feuds between my mothers sisters and things like that which I feel powerless to change. I started wondering recently if maybe there is no fixing it and this is the way some people just ARE if you know what I mean- and some of it feels like they almost LIKE the drama of not liking someone and talking about it etc? I basically decided just to carry on and not confront the family members since I honestly think it might just keep happening anyway- since as you said it seems based on nothing anyway?
The very fact that you've tried so hard to include your cousin, that you're aware she may have felt left out and that you are hurt by what you found out SHOWS clearly that you are a sweet, sensitive person who has done nothing but be friendly and understanding. I know it sucks but she's shown you none of that by the sounds of it so yeah - even though she's family, maybe she's not "friend" material?
I'm sorry - that sounds really, really hurtful. I know it's hard to just let something like this go, but it sounds like that is what you have to do. She doesn't sound like a very mature person, and most likely nothing you do will change her feelings. I would just take the high road and continue to be friendly, but not put in the extra effort.
Thanks, girls. I did try to include her but I feel like she didn't even notice. I was talking to my boyfriend about it and I said something about how it didn't make sense, that I tried so hard and invited her to things, and he kind of laughed and said "what have you ever invited her to?" - so I don't know if she sincerely doesn't think I've been trying to be friendly (although that would really shock me) or if she is just trying to twist everything up and make it sound like I'm the wicked witch to everyone. ARG! This has just been a bad week all around and this didn't help at all.
Thanks for letting me vent, I was falling apart!
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