STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
stylethread site home page -> stylethread forum -> general chat -> seeking support
Post Info TOPIC: seeking support
D


Hermes

Status: Offline
Posts: 8209
Date:
seeking support
Permalink Closed

Due to the BRCA2 gene mutation, I have a 30% chance of developing ovarian cancer. To hopefully prolong and increase the quality of my life overall, I made the decision to, and scheduled the surgery for removal of my ovaries and tubes. I have sought 4 opinions, and all Dr.s agree this is the least I should do. I have chosen to keep my uterus as there is no proven correlation between the gene mutation and uterine cancer. This surgery will put me into menopause instantly. It's scheduled for June 19.

I am also part of a clinical trial, and I get CA125 tests (measures protein count in the blood - a symptom of ovarian cancer), that are not conclusive, but are above the normal range and keep rising. This freaks me out every time I get the results and I can't continue to live on edge like this.

In a nutshell, I've been a wreck. I keep going back and forth as to whether this is the right decision, but I know it is. This is nothing to mess with and ovarian cancer tends to be deadly because it is so hard to detect until advanced stages.

There's nothing worse than spending months thinking about whether or not to have body parts removed, and the worst is sitting in a Dr.'s office putting in the order to do it.  That's what I did yesterday, and I have been crying on and off the past couple of days.

I think what bothers me most is not being whole and natural. I feel like I'm having a huge part of what makes me physically a woman removed. I also don't want to have hot flashes all the time and be dry down there. I will not be able to take any hormone replacement as the cancer I have had was estrogen receptor positive, which means any estrogen I have in my body can exacerbate additional cancer.

I'm just really sad and pissed. But I know I'm doing the right thing. Sometimes it helps me to write you guys about it.

I would appreciate it if no one expresses their questioning of my choice. It's a very personal decision, and until you have had cancer or a gene mutation diagnosis you cannot fully understand the fear and the fight. 

I guess I'm seeking support right now, because I'm trying to stay strong and go through with this. A part of me almost hopes my most recent CA125 test comes back really high to further validate this decision. It's all just making me sick and I just want to feel confident.

I also want you guys to be aware of what's going on.  Don't worry, the forum's not going anywhere, and I really want to get the rest of the site in shape, but it's just been so hard to focus.

Thanks in advance for your support.



__________________
"Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess." ~ Edna Woolman Chase
Kari


Dooney & Bourke

Status: Offline
Posts: 921
Date:
Permalink Closed

I, for one, would never question another woman's decision when faced with your situation.  I agree that such a decision is a completely personal one and that each person differs so much that no one should criticize one's choice.

It sounds like to me that you are making a very informed and educated decision based on your own research as well as that of well qualified individuals.  I will be sending positive thoughts your way that you will find peace in your decision and no longer have doubts or fears. 

You sound like an amazingly strong woman!  And a couple of organs are not what makes you that woman!  If anything, going through this might make you an even stronger woman!  I hate to hear that you feel like losing your ovaries might make you less woman.  Please know that is not the case.

As for menopause, many many women before us made it through with or without hormone therapy.  Just keep a positive spirit and you should be able to fight right through it as well.

I know that all the wonderful women on here will support you in their own way, whether they pray, or just send warm wishes, or donate to a cancer charity.

We will be supporting you!!!

__________________
Eurodaisy


Dooney & Bourke

Status: Offline
Posts: 834
Date:
Permalink Closed

Hang in there, D.  You are stronger than you realize!  Sending good thoughts your way.....



__________________
littlebean


Kate Spade

Status: Offline
Posts: 1200
Date:
Permalink Closed

Hang in there. I'm so, so, so sorry that you have to go through this, but you are strong and will make it through. You've definitely made the right decision. We'll all be thinking of you.

__________________
Mandy


Kate Spade

Status: Offline
Posts: 1134
Date:
Permalink Closed

Oh D, you have been through so much. I am sorry you had to make such a painful decision. You are so strong, I have deep respect for you. Your character makes you the amazing woman you are, not some organs.

__________________
www.mandyandbryan.com
needsfashionadvice


Kate Spade

Status: Offline
Posts: 1209
Date:
Permalink Closed

I'm really sorry that you're having to go through all of this. I can't pretend to know what you're dealing with but I hope that if I ever did go through it, I would have the same unwavering strength that you have. You're a really amazing person and I really hope that you know that.

__________________
relrel


Marc Jacobs

Status: Offline
Posts: 2065
Date:
Permalink Closed

D, I know that logically you know that you aren't defined by your organs- but it's so hard to not think with your heart on defining yourself. But please know that all of us on here, in your life, everybody who knows you defines you by your incredible style, your intellect, your humor and wit. You are a woman no matter what, in fact, D, I would consider you a lady-- somebody who is possesed of an amazing amount of sophistication and maturity. Besides...medically and clinically, ovaries or uteri or breasts isn't what defines a woman, it's those lovely double X chromosomes. So- all in all, still a woman. smile.gif

I actually watched a program on the clinical trial looking at CA125 numbers- in fact, there was an article in some magazine recently about it too. I think it's truly amazing that you are so in charge of your own health. Are there any clinical trials that are looking at alternatives to hormone replacement therapy?

I'll give you the same advice that I give everyone of my friends when they are going through rough events- stay strong but don't be afraid to be weak once in a while. Crying is (I believe) still around for a reason- it allows humans to release emotions that otherwise left bottled up inside would start causing major stress on the body. It's good for you to cry, to be pissed off at the world, and it's also good for you to know that we are all here for you.

Besides...with all those great shoes, who the hell needs ovaries? wink.gif

__________________
"But I want you to remember, I intend this breast satirically." Susan from Coupling

http://qtipsandmammoths.blogspot.com/
Collette


Chanel

Status: Offline
Posts: 4387
Date:
Permalink Closed

I don't know what to say. I don't know where you find the strength to deal with everything that is thrown your way. You really are an inspiration to anyone's who's had to deal with this.
Your ovaries are not what make you a women, it's your heart that makes you unmistakeabley who you are. That will never be taken from you.

__________________
I'm thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it. Carrie Bradshaw
atlgirl


Gucci

Status: Offline
Posts: 2881
Date:
Permalink Closed

I cannot IMAGINE anyone questioning your choice. This is a decision none of us would want to have to make, and you have to do what you feel in your heart is best for your health.

From your posts on this subject, it would seem that all signs point to more trouble down the road, and though it is hard to do, I think you have made the right choices for yourself and your body. There is no good answer here, but you have weighed the options and I fully believe in (and support) your decisions all through this.

I agree with the posters who said that some body parts aren't what make you a woman. Yes, there may be some "quality of life (or quality of sex)" issues, but there are always workarounds for that...your intellect, your character, your huge heart, and strength in the face of adversity contribute much more to your "woman-ness" than anything else.

Thank you for sharing with us - I'm so sorry that you are having to face yet another hurdle, but I know you will come through this one with flying colors too. I hope to meet you in person someday, D. I respect and admire you tremendously. Please feel free to share with us whenever you wish. You have a huge support group all over the world, through this forum.


**************hugs***************

__________________

"Good taste shouldn't have to cost anything extra." - Mickey Drexler
Elle


Hermes

Status: Offline
Posts: 7139
Date:
Permalink Closed

Ugh, what a shitty decision to have to make for yourself!  FWIW, it sounds like you know this is the right decision for you, but it's always hard to make a choice where one outcome is shitty and the other is really really shitty.  At least this part doesn't involve deciding the size of your replacement ovaries!  The smallest of small favors .........

You're stacking the odds in your favor and keeping your wits about you, and that's all you can do, right? 

We're with ya, all the way.

__________________
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment ~ {Ralph Waldo Emerson}
hotcocoa


Kate Spade

Status: Offline
Posts: 1330
Date:
Permalink Closed

i think you've made a wise decision. 30% is a pretty big number. i'm positive i would have made the same choice.

i don't think this will make you any less "whole and natural". you have to do what you HAVE to do to stay healthy. menopause is coming for all of us at some point. in X years down the road when we're all still posting on ST and we have questions about menopause you'll be our expert advice-giver on the matter!

stay strong. you're in my thoughts.

__________________
ak
HeatherLynn


Gucci

Status: Offline
Posts: 2915
Date:
Permalink Closed

I'm sorry honey. I know this is something you have been dealing with for awhile and I agree with you - it is very unnatural to have to remove something that everyone feels makes them female. However, you need to remember it does not make you less of a woman. I know that you do know that, but it still is hard. What you will have to deal with in the upcoming months will be tough, but I know you can do it. You are amazingly strong and will handle it better than I could. I think that you are taking the steps you need to prolong your quality of life, not just for you, but also for your husband.

I'm thinking of you! Let me know if you need anything.

__________________
"Despite all your best intentions, sometimes, fate wins anyway."
joy0302


Kate Spade

Status: Offline
Posts: 1173
Date:
Permalink Closed

I am so sorry to hear that you are having to make such a hard choice, but you are so smart to do what is going to be the best for you in the long term. I hope that after this you can have some peace of mind. D, you are someone we can all look up to for your level of stregnth. I can't begin to understand all of the crap you have had to deal with, but I am thinking of you and hoping you can take care of this asap and on the fast track to recovery.

__________________
http://joydevivredesign.blogspot.com/
Drew


Gucci

Status: Offline
Posts: 2553
Date:
Permalink Closed

We are always stronger than we think we are.  Keep a positive attitude no matter what, you can handle this.



__________________
blubirde


Chanel

Status: Offline
Posts: 4845
Date:
Permalink Closed

FWIW, I would have made the exact same decisions that you are making. I can't imagine anyone questioning you - it's such a personal decision.

I don't have any grand words of advice to get through tough situations - nothing ever sounds right (giving or receiving). But we're all here for you and care for you. That's something, right? smile.gif I think you're an exceptional woman and taking control of your life is one of the things I admire most about you.

I don't know if it matters or not, but my mom had the same surgery you're having (only 20 years ago) and she's had a boob job. It's not the same, of course, but I can assure you that I've never once thought of her as anything less or greater than a woman.

You can do it, D (if anyone can). Please keep us updated.

__________________
http://dailypointers.blogspot.com/
Tati


Chanel

Status: Offline
Posts: 4658
Date:
Permalink Closed

Hang in there. You know you are making the right decision, but of course it's scary so that's why you second guess yourself. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

__________________

Kelly


Hermes

Status: Offline
Posts: 5919
Date:
Permalink Closed

I'm so sorry. I don't know how you handle everything while always being so strong and confident. This decision obviously couldn't have been an easy one and you show strength by having been so level-headed and rational about it (regardless of all of the emotional trauma, you still sound level-headed in every post you've made about your health issues, and I admire that.)

My mom had a hysterectomy last year and had to wear gigantic underwear for a month! I know that's not what you're having but I'd think that similar swelling would occur. So buy yourself the craziest monster panties you can find and make sure your husband knows he's expected to wait on you hand and foot smile.gif

__________________

Fashion is art you live your life in. - Devil Wears Prada | formerly ttara123
killa


Dooney & Bourke

Status: Offline
Posts: 988
Date:
Permalink Closed

D, I admire your strength and your intelligence and your sanity in all of this. I just want you to add me to the list of people here who support you and love you.

You are still you no matter what and we are with you all the way.



__________________
Kitty


Hermes

Status: Offline
Posts: 5167
Date:
Permalink Closed

Your strength and courage are very inspirational. I have total confidence that you've made the best decision and will pull through this and come out even stronger. we are all here for you!

__________________
beaisforbeautiful.blogspot.com
luckylily


Gucci

Status: Offline
Posts: 2740
Date:
Permalink Closed

Wow! What a shitty year you have had. I'm so sorry you are having to make another tough decision like this one. It sounds to me like you are doing the right thing, and you are making a very well informed decision to protect your long term health.

Hang in there, D! I can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling, but I know for sure that there are many more things that define you as an incredible woman...strength, intelligence, charm, style...

{{{{hugs}}}}

__________________
1 2 3 4  >  Last»  | Page of 4  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
stylethread site home page -> stylethread forum -> general chat -> seeking support
Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard