STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Metric · Gucci

a very serious question *not for the squeamish*

pollyjean23 · Marc Jacobs

Are you talking the "A-word?" If so, I would recommend that you do try to spend at least a few hours with her after--even if she's just napping the whole time. I had a friend years ago who went through the same thing; she had a bit of cramping afterwards and just needed someone there. She comes from a family that is extremely religious and conservative, so I am sure she was dealing with a lot of emotions (her boyfriend stayed with her, I did not). Regardless of your friend's background, I think anyone who goes through it would like having the option of someone being there even if they don't take advantage of it.

monica · Kenneth Cole

i've been in that situation (as the friend) and she didn't want me to stay w/ her - but she need a prescription - i think they prescribed it to ward off infection so i just filled it for her and got her something to eat; she had general anas. and couldn't eat before. i left after that and her boy stayed w/ her.

there really wasn't much that i could do to make her feel better :(

boobaby · Kate Spade

It depends on the friend's preferences. I let a friend stay with me for a couple of days because she had male roomies and didn't want them to know. She had one years earlier, too. At one point, she became concerned she was hemmoraging because it seemed like more bleeding and cramping than the first one. I didn't really know what to do and it was pretty scary, but she called the doctor and calmed down after that. Other than that, we just chilled out, watched tv and ordered in.

relrel · Marc Jacobs

I would really just talk to her and she what she thinks she might want or need both before and afterward. I would also gently question her afterward as well. What she thinks she might need now might change completely once she actually has the procedure. I would actually do some googling- not sure where she's getting it done, but thier website might provide some idea of what your friend will need. She will also require different things depending on what type of procedure she's having. Good luck- what she needs right now is your friendship. No matter how that's provided she will appreciate it.

Teresa · Kate Spade

am i the only one that has no idea what the a-word is?

Lilykind · Hermes

a good friend of mine was in the same situation. She told me that the *procedure* wasn't particularly painful at all...she just needed some time and company to take her mind off of things. She had a friend spend the day with her and when she wasn't with her other friend, she was on the phone with me (we live far away from each other).

I would be supportive and offer to help. Even if she doesn't take it, she will definitely appreciate the gesture.

Teresa · Kate Spade

seriously. am i stupid?

luckylily · Gucci

collegegirl5858 wrote:

seriously. am i stupid?

Collegegirl - I pm'd you'd.

I agree w/ the others. Let her guide how much support you provide her. Offer to stay w/ her for both physical and emotional support, but understand if she doesn't want it. Check in with her a few days later too.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Aw, I don't know what's best for your friend, although I think the hospital likes to know that someone will be with you the rest of the day, in case something goes wrong. Just wanted to say good luck to your friend. I know this one is hard.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

relrel wrote:

I would really just talk to her and she what she thinks she might want or need both before and afterward. I would also gently question her afterward as well. What she thinks she might need now might change completely once she actually has the procedure. I would actually do some googling- not sure where she's getting it done, but thier website might provide some idea of what your friend will need. She will also require different things depending on what type of procedure she's having. Good luck- what she needs right now is your friendship. No matter how that's provided she will appreciate it.

I totally agree -- talk with her about what she needs, and let her know if she finds she needs something else afterwards, you're there to do what that is. You're being a great friend. :)