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D


Hermes

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tips for avoiding rape
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I thought there were some good tips in here and wanted to share (don't know that I'll stop wearing my hair up or in a ponytail, though...):

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed . They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair . Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly . Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.


3) They also look for women on their cell phone , searching through their purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00a.m. and 8:30a.m


5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots . Number two: is office parking lots/garages. Number three: is public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.


7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.


8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas , or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question , like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold out here," "we're in for a bad winter." Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.


11) If someone is coming toward you , hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK ! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back .
Again, they are looking for an EASY target.


12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes) , yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.


13) If someone grabs you , you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the
arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD . One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it - it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.


15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible . The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.


16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings , take someone with you if you canand if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!


You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

1 . Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans . If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5 . A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage:

A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.


B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zigzag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! It may get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door"

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it , but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby ----This
should be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well

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squishy


Coach

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reading this just made me realize how little common sense i have (despite taking a RAD course in college).

thanks for the tips, D!

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Aurora


Marc Jacobs

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wow. that part about the crying baby was interesting. I lived in Baton Rouge when we had 2 serial killers on the loose.  I wonder if that is what the one serial killer was using to get to the one set of girls he killed as they were all home alone at the time.

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Gucci

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Aurora wrote:

wow. that part about the crying baby was interesting. I lived in Baton Rouge when we had 2 serial killers on the loose.  I wonder if that is what the one serial killer was using to get to the one set of girls he killed as they were all home alone at the time.


According to Snopes, that one is actually an urban legend, there's been no documented cases that actually included the crying baby trick.

The rest of the tips are great tho!



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Escrime


Kate Spade

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Good tips, D!   My friends think I am paranoid sometimes, but I'd rather seem a little crazy than to be attacked.

Aurora wrote:

wow. that part about the crying baby was interesting. I lived in Baton Rouge when we had 2 serial killers on the loose. I wonder if that is what the one serial killer was using to get to the one set of girls he killed as they were all home alone at the time.


Aurora, did they ever find those guys?  I remember following that story, and then I never knew what happened.

 



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XtinaStyles


Marc Jacobs

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Great list! I have to disagree with the cellphone thing -

On a couple of occasions, I have felt that I was being followed and I specifically took out my cellphone and called my boyfriend saying loudly "A GUY IS BEHIND ME WEARING x y and z is FOLLOWING ME" they usually speed up and suddenly disappear.





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Kelly


Hermes

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XtinaStyles wrote:

Great list! I have to disagree with the cellphone thing -

On a couple of occasions, I have felt that I was being followed and I specifically took out my cellphone and called my boyfriend saying loudly "A GUY IS BEHIND ME WEARING x y and z is FOLLOWING ME" they usually speed up and suddenly disappear.


I'm also divided on the cell phone issue. I've heard both ways - that people try to get you when you're distracted, but also that they won't attack you while you're on the phone because then they know you're in contact with someone. If I'm really scared and don't have anyone to walk me to my car/into my apartment, I'll get out my phone and call my boyfriend, talking the whole time about how I want to be on the phone with him in case something happens and he'll know. We'll seriously have that conversation for 5 minutes straight sometimes just in case someone is listening, they'll know that I have someone on the line ready to call the cops if something happens.



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XtinaStyles


Marc Jacobs

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Yeah thats the same idea I had. I think the idea is that its not the cellphone but the awareness thats important.

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Aurora


Marc Jacobs

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Escrime wrote:

Good tips, D!   My friends think I am paranoid sometimes, but I'd rather seem a little crazy than to be attacked.

Aurora wrote:

wow. that part about the crying baby was interesting. I lived in Baton Rouge when we had 2 serial killers on the loose. I wonder if that is what the one serial killer was using to get to the one set of girls he killed as they were all home alone at the time.


Aurora, did they ever find those guys?  I remember following that story, and then I never knew what happened.


Yup both are in jail and have been sentenced.  One was going after young white females and the other was going after hookers. hmm



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Marc Jacobs

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Thanks, D!

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Marc Jacobs

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Another good tip I heard a couple years ago was simply that, if you're being mugged, hand over your purse without hesitation. No attitude, no bravado, no pleading, just hand it over and run away. A woman was shot by a mugger a couple years ago here in NYC--when he demanded her purse she scoffed at him and said, "What are you going to do, shoot me?" And he did, which according to an article I read was in response to having his power challenged. All muggers are really interested in is your money, so just let them have it.

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