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cat · Marc Jacobs

RE: Feeling confused (long)

Farrah · Marc Jacobs

cat wrote:

I talked to a mutual friend of me and my bf's today,and she said that neither her or her husband have heard from him in two weeks,She has known him much longer then I have(5 yrs) and I guess he acts like this sometimes,just disappers and does not let people know what is going on. She was mad though that he would not contact me though for that long of a time period seeing as how I am his girlfriend.
So I guess he was not singling me out with this behavior.

-- Edited by cat at 19:51, 2007-04-05

Babe I am going to be brutally honest with you right now because I think that you need it: his behavior is not acceptable and he will not change. If he has been doing this for years to other people he will not change for you. He is too far gone (being 47 years old) to change now. Besides that, why do you feel like you can change him? Better yet, why do you want to?

I know that you are an adult, but there are a lot of things that I didn't know at 23 that I now know at 30. I think that he is taking advantage of your inexperience and feelings for him by doing whatever he damn well pleases. Relationships are about compromise and they take work on both sides. You are currently doing all of the work and that is not right. I'll admit, there are times when my BF doesn't talk to his friends for weeks or months at a time, he may even blow them off, but he still talks to me everyday and NEVER blows me off.

While I have never met you I am sure that you are a beautiful young woman with a lot to offer. You need to be with a man that will give back to you and you have a lot of time to find him. Trust me, there is a reason why this guy is a 47 year old bachelor dating a younger woman. Normally I don't think that is a big deal, but in this case I can clearly see that he is doing it because no older woman would take this shit. Sorry if I offended you, but it was time for some honesty. NO MORE EXCUSES!!

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

Farrah wrote:

cat wrote: I talked to a mutual friend of me and my bf's today,and she said that neither her or her husband have heard from him in two weeks,She has known him much longer then I have(5 yrs) and I guess he acts like this sometimes,just disappers and does not let people know what is going on. She was mad though that he would not contact me though for that long of a time period seeing as how I am his girlfriend.So I guess he was not singling me out with this behavior.-- Edited by cat at 19:51, 2007-04-05Babe I am going to be brutally honest with you right now because I think that you need it: his behavior is not acceptable and he will not change. If he has been doing this for years to other people he will not change for you. He is too far gone (being 47 years old) to change now. Besides that, why do you feel like you can change him? Better yet, why do you want to?I know that you are an adult, but there are a lot of things that I didn't know at 23 that I now know at 30. I think that he is taking advantage of your inexperience and feelings for him by doing whatever he damn well pleases. Relationships are about compromise and they take work on both sides. You are currently doing all of the work and that is not right. I'll admit, there are times when my BF doesn't talk to his friends for weeks or months at a time, he may even blow them off, but he still talks to me everyday and NEVER blows me off.While I have never met you I am sure that you are a beautiful young woman with a lot to offer. You need to be with a man that will give back to you and you have a lot of time to find him. Trust me, there is a reason why this guy is a 47 year old bachelor dating a younger woman. Normally I don't think that is a big deal, but in this case I can clearly see that he is doing it because no older woman would take this shit. Sorry if I offended you, but it was time for some honesty. NO MORE EXCUSES!!

Cat, I totally agree with her. You are a strong young women who shouldnt be in a relationship with this man who is clearly not showing you respect. Hi excuses are endless, and ridiculous. It will only continue on this path because your also making excuses for his excuses.

From the long term perspective.. at 23 years old do you really see yourself spending your life with a man who treats you this way? I was married for several years already by your age, and I will tell you that my DH was and is considerate and compasionate because that is what you do when you love someone. What he is doing is not considerate or compasionate, its selfish.

I know you probably dont want to hear all this, but I think your fooling yourself and you should be either single or in a relationship with a man who loves and respects you enough to treat you with dignity. This guy isnt it.

cat · Marc Jacobs

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-- Edited by cat at 16:40, 2007-04-06